Weight: 126

so wow i havent been on here in a long time...this site has changed so much i dont even kno where to find anything now....but at least im finally back writing a new entry. so yea i have good news and bad new....which one first? i think im gunna give u the good news first because thats alwasy fun.

well for my good news i think i have been much more positive latly, much more happy with myslef and happy how my life is going. yes of course everyone has bad things happend to them but i think im doing a better job at not dwelling on the bad things which is really good. also one big plan i made for myself is like the next summer im home from school or i guess graduate from school if in not home again is start modeling. i think im beautiful enough but i told my bf i wanted to and he said i was to smart to be a model....i guess ill take that as a complement lol. but i still plan on it, i am going to be a model!

so now on to the bad news....if u didnt see right at the top of this entry i weight like 126, SICK!!!!!! i cannot believe i weight that much! my bf and i always love to snack so im like always eating and doing the midnight munchys (which are like the worst thing ever) ALL THE TIME! i cannot believe it. i told myself i am not going shopping for anymore food and the food i have is going to last me tell like thanksgiving.....i am not shopping, i need to stop eating!!!! i really really really need to lose AT LEAST 6 pounds for halloween. i want to be skinny for that like no other....and i will be.

I am going to start a diet, never eating when i am not around my bf and only eating half of everything or less thats offered to me. plus start working out...i need to work out, do some palaties or something. i teach danceing so at least i get alittle workout from that but not as much as i would hope. ooh also im still on those diet pills that can help, alittle...

and fyi, if anyone reading this is wondering about diet pills....dont use them!!! there addicting and dont do as much as you would hope they would do....really all they do is screw up ur matabalism....so just do start with them.

but ne way i really need to get some thinspo up here, i have not looked at anything skinny in a long long time....so basically my image of myself is skinny i guess, and that is not good cause its not. its fat and discusting! i want to be beautful....and i am going to make that 120 by halloween!!!

...ill keep u updated!!!

weight: still dont kno

i am making small goals now, cause i am getting no where....no more food today. i have eaten enough today...at least enough fat. so no more food the rest of the day and that cant be that hard cause its already 6:30, i will be very disopointed if i cant do it. even if my mom makes something i need to pretend to eat it and not really eat it. ur a fatass that really really needs to lose weight, ur gaining so so much weight this summer and its gross, i need to lose like 7 pounds, 7 pounds, thats it and then ill be proud of myself. if i can see 120, less ten 120 i will be proud of myself, happy with myself, mosr confident with myself. but heres to my thinspo, my old deim thinspo because shes beautiful and thin and i want to look and be like her....

god shes so beautiful and so tiny. thats wat i want. i want to look like that, be like that, dance like that. i want to be her, with the cancer and all...i dont care.

no i will be that, i will be skinny. i will stop eating all these fat snacks, stop eating breakfast which makes me continue to eat the rest of the day, and work out more. dance every night, rollerblade, and sit ups. i will weight 117 agian!!!

   weight: FAT

my scale is packed away, and the only other scale in the house is broken so i cant really weight myslef grr. but i kno i have been shoving food down my throught like a fat kid so i kno i am not skinny at all. i dont feel i am horrible tho, maybe 123, 124 which isnt good at all but not as horrible....no its just not good. i gotta stop eating. so i am here to post some thinspo to get myself skinny so my new boy can pick me up without a problem.

Foods Under 100 Calories:

½ cup fresh blueberries	45
1 sesame breadstick	42
3 cups plain popcorn	23
1 whole ripe tomato or ½ cup cherry or grape tomatoes	33
1 small banana	81
5 saltine crackers	60
1 medium apple	80
½ plain bagel (small 2 oz)	83
celery sticks (10 small)	20
50 small pretzel sticks	60
1 large dill pickle	15
1 medium orange	77
1 cup puffed wheat cereal	43
1 hard boiled egg	81

 

weight: dont kno, dont have a scale

thought id write a quick entry...not about my weight but about wats up. well last u heard i was going through a break up....a break up that he was trying to fix....but now apparently he desided it was to much work and stoped trying and desided to go after my friend....or who i thought was my friend. Apperantly they spent the night together while i was still dating him. I asked her about it, and she first laughed it off and then got really defensive saying "i didnt think i had to tell a girls ex bf wats going on" and that "we are not friends." it was really hurtful, and then u kinda have to think, who are ur friends? like we talked, texted, hung out at parties and watever but for her to say that was really mean, and even worse to think what else they did while we were dating. it just sucks, i was trying not to hurt him and he desided to not only break my heart but stomp on it, spit on it, and break it into as many pieces as it can go. at least i have another boy here to help me out, keep me positive.

ooh that boy is so cute, and caring, and just loves to cuddle its cute. to bad hes younger then me, but at least were having fun. i always wonder if he is just trying to get with me and then tell all the boys at his house...but i think last night he assured me he's not. he told me that he likes to wait with relationships, doesnt like to start them right away just to be sure he likes the girl...and idk im not asking for a relationship i just dont want him to hurt me, and im having fun hes a sweetheart. ooh also it was so cute, he wanted me to go over to a bonefire his house was having, but found out the girl thats getting with my ex was going to be there so he desided he didnt want to go to the bonefire and just wanted to come over here, he said it was boring....but really he loves bonefires, like LOVES them, aww that was so cute! well have to see wat happends with that. but yea thought id let u kno wats up...havent written in here for awhile and other then the broken heart, im good.