Problem:
1)I have a lazy eye and nobody likes me because one eye doesn't follow the other one
2) my mom thinks it is wrong to date a black guy but I love him VERY much and if I do go out with him I'm afraid that my mom will figure out and I am afraid of my mom
3)my mom is being a bitch I stay at home and babysit the kids every day from abourd 6:00a.m till about 2:00a.m and yeah I clean the house and I cook for the kids I bathe them I put them to bed and ugh and she tells me I am self centered
4) my dad ugh him and my mom split up because he always hit her and was cheating on her and he is an alcoholic and does drugs and yeah I am forced to go over there every other weekend where me and my 5 year old brother sit in ther living room while him and his girlfriend are down stairs doing drugs and yeah
5)I CAN NOT FIND A BOYFRIEND
6)I have been raped many times before by one of my exboyfriend named Cody and yeah my mom throws that in my face
Advice:
1) I have a friend with a lazy eye lets call her Carly. But as she has demonstrated over the past four years that despite the fact that people may not treat you kindly because of the lazy eye- people can look past it if you be yourself. Carly grew from a quiet withdrawn girl to a more vibrant person even though she still had many of the same insecurities. She started to learn to accept herself and not try as hard to fit in with others. If you would like you could make a habit of wearing sunglasses while outside so that people get to see and know the real you without focusing on the distraction of a simple thing of a lazy eye.
2&5) You are still quite young to know if you love a man and the question is, why does your mom think it is wrong? You and your mom need to come to an understanding about dating it seems. But having a boyfriend is not everything, while it has its benfits it also can have extra responsibilities or stresses
3) It seems you really need to sit down and have an adult conversation with your mom, sharing your feelings is a good idea usually so long as you word things in the possesive "I feel that I am unappreciate" as apposed to "you don't appreciate me"- however sometimes people do not want to have that discussion no matter what, especially those who are 'superior' to you being a boss or a parent. In that case you just have to learn to let it roll of you to have no attitude while you take care of your responsibilities at the same time in theory if you act like an adult you will start to be treated like one, even if it is not instant
4) As far as your dad goes there is little advice I can give because of how complicated and delicate of a situation it is. Talking directly to an adult you know and trust or informing your mother of this is the best option because while you are older and can take care of yourself better, you five year old brother can be affected more/ could be in more danger. While it is not good to let alcholoism and illegal drug use occur, keep in mind no matter how right it may be, you still may look like the bad guy- the 'tattle tail'. A friend of mine sometime ago came home after work to his sister having a party with drugs and alcohol in his house while his parents were away. He called the police and then proceeded to go into the basement, where the party was held, and inform the people that the police were on their way. While he did what was right for the sake of his family and especially his sister many people at school found out what he had done and even those who were not at the party spited him because he had called the police. So while it may be right to protect yourself and your younger brother to inform others you trust and who have power to help you of your father and his habits- you have to keep in mind that there is a good chance that you will look like the bad guy. That is, if they even do believe you which is another problem.
6) Your mom cannot let go of your exboyfriend and his acts, for what reason I do not know, but again I feel it is best to sit and talk about it with her as I mentioned in #3. However this is also more than having a discussion with your mom. You also need to make sure you never put yourself in the position of getting raped again. Whether it be, not getting a boyfriend again for a while, tighting who can be your boyfriend, dating in groups, never being alone in a house or car. It is important for your physical and psychological health that you take all the neccassary precautions from doing this again
Having said all that I have, I think you need to find a psychologist that you can see often, whether it be a school councelor or someone you know because you need to talk to someone you can talk and comminicate direct with who you know is fully qualified to help you.
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