It's about 11 and it's a friday nite. NOthing reallie happened this weekend except for my three bloody noses in a row. Man Troy has reduced me to bleeding because of all it's bull shit. Neways didn't do much except blay basketball for couple hours with some friends and then i had to go clothes shopping for da FBLA Southern Section crap. Hope it will be fun, ahah atleast i get to go to knotts because of it. Damn i neva go to knotts even tho i live like 10 min. away. I'm gona buy a season's pass next year. MAn sadies is coming up and this year's theme is reallie good it's called Lite's out 2, THE AFTERGLOW. I reallie want go, but sadly i have no date. I heard dat some one was gona ask me but it seems dat person is goin with her ex or some crap. Dang i only got so much of High school and it seems i haven't done nething worth while. WEll hope i get asked by someone.

NOW getting a lil more serious........

SInce coming to troy, i've always found myself asking if i made the rite decision. Sure freshman year was fun but after that it all went down hill. I went from a stud to a dud. Sophmore year sucked like hell and junior year is incredibly frustrating. I wonder if the sacrafice and hardships i'm goin through will help me in the long run, but for now all i am is bitter, sad, and angry. Day in and day out i put so much effort into my school work, but i never recieve the grades i expect. It seems that, all i've become is a frustrated, miserable, and lonely person who still foolishly believes in the empty promise of making something out of myself.

I always thought what it would have been like if i went to a different high school, like sunny hills with all my friends. I'm pretty sure i'd have better grades, but would i be happy? Sure i'd still have friends dat i knew since i was and that i grew up with, but i wonder if i had gone to sunny hills, i would have achieved all those goals i've been yearning for. NOt juss academically but also socially. Ever since i've gone to Troy, i've lost countless good friends. Yet i've made good ones at troy as well. Still i wonder, and i guess it's apart of human nature to always thinkg about the "What If's." Good Friends we meet, and good friends we lose. However who knows it mite be all in GOd's plan and dat all da suffering and this miserable feeling of depression will set the stone to a better and happier life for me in the future. I juss hope for dat.

I always juss want to give up but it seems, i can't. I've always worked hard, and to not would be such a drastic change. I juss hope dat the few moments i have in high school i will be able to achieve da grades i want,have stronger and new friendships with ppl, and experience those great high school moments that will make so many great memories after high school. For now i continue to work hard, and hope to do well on my sat's and sat 2. I even hope to  go to a good college. WEll, dat felt good coming off my chest. Juss wish i get those things that i've wanted.