Chapter 2: Lady of Diligence - Part 1

"Every wife and mother daily deals with the legitimate needs of her husband and children."

• It's gonna get tiring...it's gonna get monotonous...it's not going to be easy or something that we're going to enjoy all the time...but with diligence and perseverance...we can do it.

"Although a single woman may long for the 'chaos' of a family, she must not waster her time wishing for it.  She must be diligent to use her single time wisely now.  She has more control over her time and choices now than she will probably ever have again."

"The perfect time to make the most of every opportunity is while you are single."

John Fischer: "God has called me to live now.  He wants me to realize my full potential as a man right now, to be thankful about where I am, and to enjoy it to the fullest.  I have a strange feeling that the single person who is always wishing he were married wil probably get married, discover all that is involved, and wish he were single again!  He will ask himself, 'Why didn't I use that little for the Lord when I didn't have so many other obligations?  Why didn't I give myself totally to Him when I was single?'"

"Ironically, some single women can be so distressed by their single state that they become emotionally more distracted than a wife and mother of four children."

"Rather than resent your many single hours, embrace them as a gift from God - a package that contains opportunities to serve HIm that are limited only by your own self-pity and lack of obedience."

No Time to Waste
"Ruth was willing to use her life working diligently at whatever her Lord called her to do.  She would not be paralyzed by her lack of a husband."

"...she was not afraid to walk into a totally unfamiliar situation."

"...single women...not only miss out on being encouraged by others, but also are not exposed to new relationships when they remain home tied up by cords of fear and feeling sorry for themselves."

"Get involved and see what you have been missing."

Free to Follow
"Ruth did not waste a moment feeling sorry for herself.  She went right to work."

"She bound herself to the service of the Lord, interweaving her service with Him like the braiding of a heavy rope."

"...has your relationship and service been unraveling over the years as you continue to be single and not married?"

"You must be sensitive to the things and situations that distract you from redeeming your free time."

"Our selfish nature tends to focus on what we do not have rather than on what we do have - free time - that can be used for others and ourselves.  Is your life on hold until you have someone to hold?"

"...she made a choice of recklessly adbandoning herself to Jesus as Lord, she was free to serve Him."

Some of the things that stood out to me in Chapter 1: Lady of Reckless Abandonment

The example of the roommate getting married and being left ALONE and drowning my sorrows in ice cream is fairly accurate for me.  In one year, I had three of my best friends married.  I was a maid of honor in one, a bridesmaid in another and was unable to attend the third because I was in a wedding on the same day.  Yes, two of my best friends were married on the same day.

"Does this scenario sound familiar?"
"Have you assumed that your ultimate fulfillment would be found in marriage?"
"Have you privately entertained the notion that the only satisfied women are married women?"
"Have you been expecting your career to satisfy you until you are married?"

"If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, then you have a prospect of disillusionment looming in the future."

This next quote comes from the back cover of Learning to Be a Woman.  "A woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be."

Gary Chapman wrote or remarked - "...happiness is not found in marriage but in a right relationship with God." - WOW!!!  I've always thought that I could only find happiness in marriage...didn't even think that I could be satisfied and happy in a right relationship with God even if I never got married.  Now, yes, I always knew that I would be happy if I had gotten everything right with God, but I also always imagined me getting married and being happy in that as well.

"Fulfillment for a Christian woman begins with the Lordship of Christ in every area of her life." - EVERY area.  That's a LOT...more than even I may realize.  I give everything to God, then it seems that God says - "Did you remember this area?"  "um...no...but are you sure you want that?  Do I really need to give that up?  It's something that I enjoy or am ashamed of and want to keep buried."  "Do you trust Me?"  "...yes...I do - BUT..."  "No 'buts'.  Either you trust Me or you don't."  "yes Lord, I do trust you...you can have that area too (as I humbly hold it up as a little child would to their parent wanting to please them in everything they did)."

"No one, not even the man you will marry one day, can make you happy - only Jesus can." - Only Jesus can make me 100% happy.  The man I will marry will constantly disappoint me and hurt my feelings, but Jesus will never disappoint me or hurt my feelings.  He is the only One that will really fulfill me.

The secret..."following Jesus with reckless abandonment." - For me it's a DAILY struggle.  Ever felt that way before?  That you just have to take things one day at a time?  Or sometimes just one hour or minute or moment at a time!?!  That's me sometimes.

The Secret of the Alabaster Box
"When a young man came to ask for her [a young woman in Jewish culture] in marriage, she would respond [accept the proposal] by taking the alabaster box and breaking it at his feet.  This gesture of anointing his feet showed him honor." - How much we've lost in tradition throughout the years!  Wouldn't that be neat to show the man that proposed to you that you want to show him honor...now and for the rest of YOUR life.

There was an example of a woman that anointed Jesus with her alabaster box in Luke 7.  She was "a woman in the city who was a sinner." - Aren't we all sinners? And completely unworthy of His grace and mercy?  Who are we compared to Him?  Even though she was a sinner, she is still remembered today and will be forever.  By breaking her alabaster box for Jesus, "she also gave her all to a heavenly Bridegroom."  This is the KEY  "...this sinner had dreams and wisely broke her alabaster box in the presence of the only One who can make a woman's dreams come true."

"Having responded to your heavenly Bridegroom [Jesus] in such a manner, you can wait with confident assurance that, if it be God's will, He will provide you with an earthly bridegroom." - Even though this is true and wonderful, it is still hard for me to wait.  I was once told that 'waiting is the safest place to be', yet at the same time it's the HARDEST place to be.

"Such a decision will be reflected in reckless abandonment to the Lordship of Jesus Christ."  HOW?  "...you receive His terms without resentment."

Ruth's Reckless Abandonment
"[Ruth had] to turn her back on her people, her country, and her gods because her thirsty soul had tasted of the God of Israel." - Ruth 1:16 "Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge.  Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God."

1) New Friends
"...she [Ruth] would not be able to grow closer to the God of Israel if she remained among the Moabites (her own people)."

"...mediocre Christians resist the zeal and commitment of a dedicated single woman." - but don't get discouraged...keep that fire burning for the Lord!!!

"...find a 'new people' who will encourage your growth and not hinder it." - Proverbs 13:20 "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."

There may not even be any one that you can really speak with at this time, that may be where God has you right now - to completely and wholeheartedly seek His face instead of the faces of friends.  Even so, "a heavenly perspective, the great cloud of witnesses rejoiced as they beheld the woman giving such honor to Jesus."  Even though you can't "see" or "hear" those who are encouraging you and who you have pleased, they're there.

"Is there such evidence in your daily life?" - that question struck me.

Another thing that "got me" was "You mirror those who influence you."

Regarding your close girl friends that you trust, "Is she daily becoming all that Jesus desires?  If so, her growth will challenge you to grow." - I Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals'."

Hebrews 10:24 "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds."

2) New Surroundings
"Ruth had to relocate in order to be fed spiritually."

Follow Ruth's example and "look for something that will stimulate your growth in the Lord."

"...the Lord showed her [a college student] that the good often becomes the enemy of the best in life."  That was humbling to me.

KEY!!! - "...commitment to do as the Lord directs is the key."

"A. W. Tozer said, "A whole new generation of Christians has come up believing that it is possible to 'accept' Christ without forsaking the world.  Ruth had to forsake the familiar and comfortable in order to receive God's best for her life."

3) New Faith
Isaiah 29:13b "...Their worship of Me is made up only of rules taught by men."

One young lady was convicted by "...devoting as much energy to Jesus as I [she] would in a relationship with a boyfriend."  - or courtee if you plan on courting instead of dating.

Dividends From a High Price
"Ruth's choice was costly, but the return on this high price far outweighed her investment."  Matthew 19:29 "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for My sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life."

"[Ruth's] 'hundred times as much' was a godly husband, a son who would be the grandfather of King David, and inclusion in the lineage of Jesus Christ."

"She wanted God's will, not hers; His blueprints, not her elementary scribbling; God's assignment, not her foolish plans." - That's what I want too, yet sometimes it's so hard...it's a daily battle.

The Missing Puzzle Piece
Colossians 2:9-10 "For in Him all the fulness of Diety dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority."

"Incompleteness is not the result of being single, but of not being full of Jesus." - WOW - talk about convicting.  Only in Jesus am I COMPLETE.  A husband will not complete me.  WHAT!?!  A husband will NOT complete me?  NOPE - Only JESUS CAN.

"When two 'incomplete' singles get married, their union will not make them complete."  "Only when they understand that their fullness is found in a relationship with Jesus will they ever begin to complement one another.  They can never complete one another.  You were not created to complete another, but to complement."

"Completing is Jesus' responsibility and complementing is a woman's privilege." - It's a PRIVILEGE to complement!!!

"Only the single woman who understands this means of being complete in Jesus is mature enough to be a helpmeet (complement)." - Colossians 2:9-10 "For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ." - Psalm 73:28a "But it is good for me to draw near to God."

Elizabeth Elliot in Loneliness says, "Marriage teaches us that even the most intimate human companionship cannot satisfy the deepest places of the heart.  Our hearts are lonely 'til they rest in Him."

Satisfied by a Heavenly Fiance'
Song of Solomon 6:1 "Where has your lover gon, most beautiful of women?  Which way did your lover turn, that we may look for him with you?"

Only in Christ can you find "comfort, healing, direction, and purpose for her [your] life."

"The depth of your relationship with God is up to you."

"...first critical choice: reckless abandonment to Jesus Christ."

Amy Carmichael said, "The saddest thing one meets is the nominal Christian."

"...determine to pursue Jesus with your whole heart, soul, and mind.  ...establish a radical relationship with Jesus..."

"Becoming a Lady in Waiting begins with reckless abandonment to Jesus."

"The Lady in Waiting understands the pleasing aroma of the perfume that flows from one's "broken alabaster box."  It is the irrestistible aroma of reckless abandonment to Jesus Christ."

Currently Reading Lady in Waiting: Developing Your Love Relationships By Jackie Kendall, Debby Jones see related

Lady in Waiting: Developing Your Love Relationships is written by Jackie Kendall, and Debby Jones.  The copyright at the beginning of the book states "The use of short quotations or occasional page copying for personal or group study is permitted and encouraged."  Therefore I will be posting some excerpts of the book in quotation marks that meant something to me to be left up for discussion to anyone who would like to comment.

There is also a study guide that goes along with this book, but it was encouraged to read the book first answering the questions in the book then going back through it with the study guide later.  That is my goal.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated and welcomed.

I just re-read the preface where I highlighted some things that stood out to me:

"Too many women grow up believing that the inconsolable ache in her heart is for 'a man'." - That's how I grew up!!!  Now, I'm trying to re-learn!  That is very difficult to do...but possible - Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." (KJV)

"No man, woman, or child can appease this longing; it can only be satisfied by the ultimate Bridegroom, Christ Jesus." - That's what I'm coming to realize and accept that Jesus needs to become my 1st Love again.  That HE is the ONLY ONE that can satisfy my every longing.

This book focuses on the book of Ruth.  Ruth "recklessly abandons herself to the Lordship of Christ, diligently uses her single days, trusts God with unwavering faith, demonstrates virtue in daily life, loves God with undistracted devotion, stands for physical and emotional purity, lives in security, responds to life with contentment, makes choices based on her convictions, and waits patiently for God to meet her needs." - WOW!!!  What an amazing example!  I am struggling with each and every area that God's example of Ruth shows...EVERY area, yet God gives grace and is patient with me - He is continually working on me and forming me into His lady in waiting.

"Anything other than a love relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, regardless of how good that thing may be, will bring you disappointment and disillusionment." - I'm learning this as well.  To be content with my Lord and Savior who supplies EVERYTHING I could ever want or need.