No mo grinch teef bitch! haha I love when spring comes. :) The "tree" bloomed as we ran past it today on our 3 mile. That made me happy. There's a big ol' bon fizire this Saturday and it's goin to be the shiz. Maybe even the zoo!! :D Aiight so check this. Single? maybeee I'm thinking so. I miss Eric and everything. He was one of the only I could be myself around. Truly. But you know what? If he dosn't love me enough to stop the drinking, smoking, partying, lieing, ans most of all CHEATING.....then fuck it. I won't feel as bad when I go on this U.S History trip and wherever/whatever I do this summer and neither will he. A lot of people are telling me I can do way better than him. That makes me feel better. Reality check Jasmine. I'm thinking that's true because that's the lowest you can go in a relationship. Ahhh shit. I'm pissed. I don't know. Don't believe anything I write. I tend to exadgerate {sp?}. So whatev. I miss him. But if he's going to do that...than...ugh...that's not part of the relationship. It's like ever since Beth. A week after her he cheated on me when I was in Illinois for Thanksgiving and he was at a house party drunk with a 160 lbs fat ass. Since that there has been at least 11 girls that I think he's tried getting with. Shiiiit. I don't know. This BLOWS. Speaking of weight....I'm 105 now. I havn't been like this since like 7th grade. I've been in the 15's. Maybe all the stress?? Nono? Meet against Memorial yesterday. Won 81-51 I think? All pbs: 4x8 {my leg} = 2:31 Open 8 = 2:35 HJ = 4'8" 4x4 = 1:09.....This was kind of odd. I beat Latrices time? Whhhhaaattt? So I was moved up to varsity because I beat Chadwicks 1:11. So I'm pretty happy with all of the results. Without shin splints, it's amazing! I really feel like I can fly. I can do so much more. It really stinks though....I get them really bad later on in every season and I can't do as much. I felt so good today. My name was buzzing around the school just because I won the open 8? Smiles. See the front page. There I am. Hahaha. I've never had my picture in the paper. Always the name though. Not for a while. SHINS!! ERRRR. I didn't realize the photographer was taking the picture until I crossed the line. I had on the ugliest face too. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be when I saw it today. Haha. Lucas: "You dominated the 8 dude!" I <3 Luke...so does my mom. I forgot how much I missed me and Caroline's little girl talks about guys. Lol. I got my car taken away for a week I think just because I was at Dakota's this morning. Gaay. So I got a ride home with her after practice today and we talked. I thought we didn't have anything in common. I got 2 doves and they laid two eggs. I can't wait! They're so sweet. No biting or anything. Lol. They're flippin' doves? Whoever I marry, I hope they can deal with, they better deal with the fact the we're goin to live in a zoo. And Shane. Shane makes me feel better too. Goddamn, I've been so sad. [9:09 P.M.]: so you n erik dnt go out no more
[9:10 P.M.]: i dont know what the deal is myself
[9:10 P.M.]: like a lot of shit went down on saturday with us [9:10 P.M.]: but hes on a yot right now with his buddies and girls?
[9:11 P.M.]: hes lucky
[9:11 P.M.]: why
[9:11 P.M.]: i mean hes on a yot
[9:11 P.M.]: where on our computers in elkhart lol
[9:11 P.M.]: i guess
[9:11 P.M.]: hahaha
[9:12 P.M.]: ha ya see im to nice like me n selena are goin through some shit n she plays games like that but im to nice to do that
[9:13 P.M.]: i know i know
[9:13 P.M.]: you guys are funny/cute
[9:13 P.M.]: i can't help but laughing when i walk aways from the lockers
[9:13 P.M.]: cuz i see eric and i all over again
[9:13 P.M.]: but we're MUCH worse
[9:13 P.M.]: does it ever get better?
[9:13 P.M.]: yeah
[9:14 P.M.]: when were together ...alone
[9:14 P.M.]: thats good ya same here
[9:14 P.M.]: but hes a dick now cuz hes with his new found friends. I was always there for him. They were never there until now. This blows.
[9:14 P.M.]: like we hang out n she loves it i love it but she doesnt want a bf
[9:14 P.M.]: same here
[9:15 P.M.]: he fucking cheated on me!!
[9:15 P.M.]: sooo yeah
[9:15 P.M.]: you are hard to get, i'll admit that
[9:15 P.M.]: i love to hang out with him but we have major trust issues
[9:15 P.M.]: what do you mean?
[9:15 P.M.]: ^^
[9:15 P.M.]: your one of tha prettyiest girls ive seen
[9:15 P.M.]: awwwe
[9:16 P.M.]: i mean that like i dnt like you like that lol but im just sayin looks wise lol
[9:16 P.M.]: oh i know
[9:16 P.M.]: duh
[9:16 P.M.]: yup
[9:16 P.M.]: but that makes me happy
[9:16 P.M.]: no problm
[9:16 P.M.]: ive been so sad
[9:16 P.M.]: 
[9:18 P.M.]: selena has a thing for jarrel but she wnt tell me cause shes scared to loose me permanetly but she wnt go out with me and i feel im playin tha fool right now
[9:18 P.M.]: naaa
[9:18 P.M.]: did you cheat on her
[9:18 P.M.]: why dosnt she want to be with you?
[9:18 P.M.]: i still do everything for her she treats me good out of skool but in like shit like im nothin
[9:19 P.M.]: i dnt no she says she doesnt want a bf
[9:19 P.M.]: and kno i never cheated on her
[9:19 P.M.]: hmmmm
[9:19 P.M.]: aubrey got my number n tlked to me
[9:19 P.M.]: so thats why?
[9:19 P.M.]: i would never do any grl like that
[9:19 P.M.]: i dnt no she has lots of reasons lol
[9:19 P.M.]: lol
[9:20 P.M.]: every grl does
[9:20 P.M.]: maybe she just wants you to learn
[9:20 P.M.]: im trying to get eric the way he used to be
[9:20 P.M.]: i told him i wont get back with him until he drops all of his bad habits
[9:20 P.M.]: drinking smoking cheating grls
[9:20 P.M.]: you know
[9:20 P.M.]: ya ive changed
[9:21 P.M.]: drasticly
[9:21 P.M.]: good?
[9:21 P.M.]: yep she has even told me she likes it
[9:21 P.M.]: well good
[9:21 P.M.]: see
[9:21 P.M.]: i love eric so much
[9:21 P.M.]: she wants to play games tho n it sucks
[9:21 P.M.]: why cant he change for me
[9:21 P.M.]: thats ERIC!!
[9:26 P.M.]: arnt we some losers lol
[9:26 P.M.]: yeahhh u know.........
[9:28 P.M.]: sry
[9:28 P.M.]: we are some losers i guess
[9:28 P.M.]: damn...so sad
[9:28 P.M.]: i sayed but im a way better runner than you lol
[9:28 P.M.]: STFU!!!
[9:28 P.M.]: hahaha
[9:28 P.M.]: thats real nice
[9:28 P.M.]: and im mad at you
[9:29 P.M.]: well...im mad at you too?
[9:29 P.M.]: you sayed i didnt tlk n that i slapped hands lol wtf
[9:29 P.M.]: whys that
[9:29 P.M.]: 7th grade
[9:29 P.M.]: that was cute
[9:29 P.M.]: at least ur one of the guys....well i think your the only one who didnt try to get in my pants
[9:29 P.M.]: thats a good thing shane!
[9:30 P.M.]: duh cause i was in 7th grade lol
[9:30 P.M.]: i didnt no how to spell sex ha
[9:30 P.M.]: haha thats cute
[9:31 P.M.]: im serious.... and if i remeber correctly you had a bf every week lol loser
[9:31 P.M.]: shut up!
[9:31 P.M.]: and you went out with bobbi haha gross
[9:31 P.M.]: i was a slut i guess?
[9:31 P.M.]: omg
[9:32 P.M.]: im going to puke
[9:32 P.M.]: no not a slut
[9:32 P.M.]: dont even bring that up
[9:32 P.M.]: ewwwwwwwwwww
[9:32 P.M.]: ha
[9:32 P.M.]: i guess i got some good hi fi's out of it lol
[9:33 P.M.]: true true
[9:34 P.M.]: but thanks for tellin selena
[9:34 P.M.]: lol no prob
[9:34 P.M.]: fucker
[9:35 P.M.]: she feels important she got some
[9:35 P.M.]: what
[9:35 P.M.]: lol nvm
[9:35 P.M.]: no tell me
[9:36 P.M.]: read it again
[9:36 P.M.]: she got more than me so she feels better
[9:36 P.M.]: i dont know?
[9:36 P.M.]: o okay i got
[9:36 P.M.]: she got alot more
[9:36 P.M.]: lol i know loser
[9:37 P.M.]: alot lot more
[9:37 P.M.]: did you guys dance with guys at tha club
[9:37 P.M.]: i mean did she
[9:37 P.M.]: be honest
[9:37 P.M.]: hey!!!
[9:37 P.M.]: im not doing this
[9:37 P.M.]: your using me!!
[9:37 P.M.]: no i mean just tell me
[9:37 P.M.]: i dnt care now
[9:37 P.M.]: okay
[9:38 P.M.]: everyone danced w/ everyone
[9:38 P.M.]: i mean like if she didnt it would make me feel good cause i kno shes a good grl
[9:38 P.M.]: so where there guys behind you or what
[9:39 P.M.]: so yes or no
[9:39 P.M.]: i think?
[9:39 P.M.]: ya you kno
[9:39 P.M.]: like was there any guys behind selena like you kno how they dance
[9:40 P.M.]: okay
[9:40 P.M.]: so me sandra {ew} and chels were all dancing w/ ppl
[9:40 P.M.]: for a while it was me and her
[9:40 P.M.]: then some guys started to dance with her
[9:40 P.M.]: she didnt really dance with them
[9:41 P.M.]: she didnt even know what they looked like
[9:41 P.M.]: what he look like black?
[9:41 P.M.]: no
[9:41 P.M.]: preppy
[9:41 P.M.]: dont know?
[9:41 P.M.]: couldnt see
[9:41 P.M.]: for a long time or what
[9:41 P.M.]: nope
[9:41 P.M.]: not at all
[9:42 P.M.]: r u sure
[9:42 P.M.]: pos
[9:42 P.M.]: cause if erik did you wrong id tell you
[9:42 P.M.]: if i knew
[9:42 P.M.]: i know
[9:42 P.M.]: i swear
[9:42 P.M.]: im telling you all i know
[9:42 P.M.]: like we seriously didnt know who we danced with
[9:43 P.M.]: chelsea for some reason was looking at all the guys seeing who we were dancing with
[9:43 P.M.]: like she showed me who i was dancing with and i was like ewwwwwwww
[9:43 P.M.]: what bout selena
[9:43 P.M.]: no i dea
[9:44 P.M.]: its not a big deal its just she lied like always she wastn even sad we brke up that day
[9:44 P.M.]: i tihnk the only black guy that came up to us was with sandra {ew}
[9:45 P.M.]: you kno
[9:45 P.M.]: seriously
[9:45 P.M.]: i mean i think
[9:45 P.M.]: did you read what i sayed
[9:46 P.M.]: she wasnt even sad that we brke up that day
[9:46 P.M.]: really?
[9:46 P.M.]: why
[9:46 P.M.]: i mean she didnt seem like it
[9:46 P.M.]: goin to tha club n all
[9:46 P.M.]: maybe she just didnt want to show it
[9:47 P.M.]: ya maybe
[9:49 P.M.]: did you break up with her?
[9:51 P.M.]: ya
[9:51 P.M.]: i didnt mean to
[9:51 P.M.]: just mad
[9:51 P.M.]: ohh
[9:51 P.M.]: mad?
[9:51 P.M.]: like sometimes you do stupid thngs and dnt think when you get mad
[9:52 P.M.]: i know what you mean
[9:52 P.M.]: she says shes over me but i dnt believe that
[9:52 P.M.]: we went for a year n half
[9:52 P.M.]: i wouldnt either
[9:52 P.M.]: you can tell Hahahahahahaha. My mom's talking to one of her customers right now and I think he/she's over the age of 70 because my mom keeps repeating herself in what she says on the phone. You've got to be here. It's too funny. I feel so much better writing in this thing. I don't have much of anyone to talk to because I pushed them all away for Eric. Why? So I'm going through this by myself. I could live without him before so I can now. I just don't want to. But I need to. </3
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