Hey dude, I'm free all afternoons this week. DA time.

Drew

A man walks into an audition for a FOX reality variety show with his mutant family and asks if they can do their act. The man auditioning people said fine and asks them to go up on stage. The father and 12 year old son walk up there and rip each others clothes off. The father snaps his son’s neck, leaving him crippled, and then he begins to drill a hole into the sons mutated chest that has over 20 disorganized nipples and looks like the beginnings of a pepperoni pizza. He picks a spot in between a triage of those pepperonis and the drill mushes through the cartilage and begins to grind through the ribs. Once the dad makes a sufficient enough hole to expose the kids heart, he begins to vomit acid all over his sons exposed genitals. The Roman Shower lasts for over 20 seconds and when it's over the son's penis has completely melted off and there is nothing left but what looks like a pile of rubber. The father tapes his sons mouth shut and crams his foot into the son’s asshole. He then leans over his son’s chest and begins to fuck the open cavity with his penis, churning and pumping to the rhythm of the kids now accelerated 80 bpm heart. After several minutes of this the dad has to take a shit, but since he too is a mutant his insides are all fucked up and he starts shitting gooey diarrhea through his penis into the son’s body. The insides of the son soon fill up and liquid shit begins to pour out of his ears and nostrils because his other orifices are plugged. The mutant shit gets into his eye sockets and both of his eyes pop out, still attached to whatever keeps them from normally falling out. The son dies as the father sits there fucking him in the chest with the diarrhea pouring out of his penis. The dad looks over at his naked 7 year old daughter and sees that she is using their pet dogs asshole as a pacifier. She is chewing on it with her new baby teeth and so there is a mixture of blood and shit on her face and messing into her hair. The dog has worms and a leaky anus so shit is falling out of its asshole and worms are wriggling in the soupy shit and in the daughters mouth. The father gets up off his dead son, his penis still shooting rotten shit everywhere like a flailing fire hose, and he grabs a chainsaw. He takes the chainsaw to his daughters pussy as she chews on the dogs asshole. He sticks it in vertically until the blade is grinding up into her intestines and then he twists it around like someone turning a doorknob. He hollows out the girls vagina into a bloody mess of shredded skin. He begins to ejaculate out of his asshole and crouches over his sons corpse as he works on the daughter, turning the son into a Mayonnaise sandwich. The daughter starts bleeding out of her mouth and her bowel gives, spilling her half digested McDonald’s meal all over the floor. The daughter starts moaning and convulsing as she approaches an orgasmic climax. Right as this happens the mother drives in on a humongous lawn mower with the blades going. She has torn the melted penis off of the son and is rubbing it against her vagina because the shape doesn’t quite fit. She approaches the bloody shitty mess, raises the blade deck up, and proceeds to run over her husband, dog, and finally her daughter and dead son. Blood and guts and shit and semen and human genitals fly all over the place, the lawnmower chugging and smoking to grind up all of these remains, and when she finishes driving over them they look like raw hamburger, covered in shit and all of the other disgusting bodily fluids. The mother steps off the lawnmower, picking up a bit of the hamburger orgy to gum on, and treads through the slaughter scene over to the man running the auditions. "Wow that’s a pretty neato act you guys have, what’s your name?" To which she replied, "The Aristocrats."