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AchooIsneezE
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Name: Jess
Gender: Female
Interests: Rock climbing, hiking, running, working out...basically anything outdoors. Writing, piano, violin, singing, karate, photography, acting, fashion, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.........................................................................so on and so forth...................................
Expertise: I have so many I mean should one really be subjected to list so many? I laugh in unexpectedness......But if you really REALLY want to me to I will admit my expertise lies in the math field. *sarcasm*
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Art
Message: message me
AIM:  storywriter101
Member Since:
8/21/2005
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| I never update my Xanga so it's become pretty dran. I have noticed that in my life I have encountered a lot of people that do not allow you to voice your own opinions. If you do decide to be an individual or raise a question, you get preached to by 50 gazillion people.....and I am all for free speech---everyone is allowed to have their own opinion, so therefore I do not want to be a part of a circle of people that do not allow that. The funny thing is........it's just immaturity. One day all of these young, naive children will grow up and realize that forcing religion and/or personal beliefs on others is hurtful, uncalled for, and only pushes everyone away in the end. Please step outside the box that you've grown up in and realize you are not better than anyone else. Christianity would be so much more widely accepted if certain people weren't such horrible hypocrites. I have been very aware for some time now that certain people that reign over certain groups as "awesome Christians" are the very people I hope to never be like. I wish I coud look them in the eye and say, "do you know that you are the very reason why I doubt this circle of people calling themselves wonderful christians....because if anyone as fake as you can be held with such high regards...I want nothing to do with it." Yes, but that's something I can only say on Xanga...not to his face. Maybe this should be my last post....my last post so that everyone can know where I stand. I'm not ashamed, I am not a heathen, and I absolutely do not deny God. However I am done being fake and hanging out with people that are not my friends, do not understand me, and never will. I have been wanting to say this for so long...but it's looked so "down upon" to say anything other than what everyone wants to hear. Just please WAKE UP people!!!! See what you are DOING!! look at yourselves!!! This is the real world, just because you haven't been exposed to that does not mean you can pretend you have. Stop bashing people just because they do not have the same beliefs as you!! it is WRONG! If God judges people the way you do, if He crushes their hearts opinions like you do.....then I want nothing to do with your God. So good thing I still believe that he has nothing to do with the idiot judgments we all pass on each other.
I am not trying to specifically offend anyone. I just want you to think about what I'm saying. If it's possible to alter something...go for it. I am guilty of so many things myself...I am definately not saying I am innocent in this. I have judged many people as well and I have had to evaluate the way I live. I do not think I am better than anyone on this earth for saying what I am...I just want to share things that I am learning with others. Be.........OPEN MINDED. Open to love, open to hate, open to anger, open to pain---open to the fact that we all lead separate lives that can either be brought together or torn apart. If it makes you angry to read this...if it hurts...maybe it's because you need to hear it.
"It takes two to speak the truth--One to speak, and another to hear." ~Henry David Thoreau
Please hear.
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| Memories, Memories. . .
Here we sit. . .three cowy friends: Betsy, Nelly, and Tina. . .soon to be joined by another not-so-cowy friend: Joshina. . .and we are contemplating our lives and the zany adventures that always ensue when we join forces within this crazy world. So to let you in on the sort of amazing adventures that amazing friends like us triumph over, we decided to enlighten you and tell our stories as only we can. - There once was a famous guitarist in a famous band (whom we will not name to protect the innocent. . . and the guilty) who got quite thirsty, so he decided to indulge his thirst with a blue Powerade. When he was done with this delightful drink, he saw an opportunity to help 4 damsels in distress whose beauty had caught his attention and offered them some of his Powerade. The 4 cows... ehem, damsels in distress, eagerly accepted the gesture. Thus they all shared a drink with a famous guitarist.
- Once upon a time three of the friends were traveling to see a fish, but they were rather directionally challenged individuals. Thus, they started at one far end of Chattanooga to embark upon the other end, and in the process of their traveling they bypassed any hint of where they were trying to go and ended up in another time zone. The damsels in distress had no where to turn for rescuing so they turned to their only hope: their 4th cow friend. This friend was eager to help, however she was quite entangled with duties in another country and thus could do little to assist in the situation. Thus the 3 three friends were doomed.
- When the world was desolate and dark, five girls embarked on a mission of revenge. It took much plotting, courage, and analyzing… but indeed it was necessary. They gathered the needed ammunition and deemed themselves “The Tres Desperados.” The fact that there were 5 of them was of no importance. So then they were off to do the Deed. Three yards, 40 rolls of Toilet Paper, two water guns, and a box of Cheese-Its later… the Tres Desperados had achieved greatness. And thus they became legends.
And the three cowy friends thought of many more stories and misadventures but did not deem them xanga worthy because of the embarrassing nature of these tales. Someday they will sit in rocking chairs on a front porch and tell of these adventures to the third and fourth generations, sharing with them the lessons they learned during their youth. These lessons were gathered from the moral of each story: - Thus they all shared a drink with a famous guitarist.
- Thus the 3 three friends were doomed.
- Thus they became legends.
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| WOOHOO!!! THE NEW YEAR!!!!!!!! We all have a totally new year set before us with new challenges, new adventures, and new experiences!!!!! :) It's scary and exciting at the same time. I can't wait to see what happens! I went to see "Freedom Writers" yesterday with Erin Fannin and it was so amazing. Inspirational movies are definately my favorite. I was so inspired when I watched this that I even went to Barnes and Noble and bought the book that the movie was based on. It's letters that these kids wrote who were in the midst of gang violence and racial violence. This teacher inspired them when nobody else cared. The book is all these teenagers journal entries about what's going on in their lives and how this teacher is helping them live a better life and make better decisions. So yeah it was crazy inspiring! I went to Barnes and Noble with my journal, and my MP3 player and wrote for hours. I always do that when I'm inspired. haha In the foreward of the book Zlata Filipovic says, "I discovered the beauty of writing-when one can pour oneself onto a great white emptiness and fill it with emotions and thoughts and leave them there forever." I thought that was a beautiful way of describing it.
Ok guys...I'm off to pack and go on my 13 hour trip! I LOVE YOU ALL! I hope your New Year was amazing. I encourage everyone to make New Year's resolutions. I love doing that because it's a new year and a new start. Sometimes it's easy to give up on yourself because of circumstance, but in the end, circumstance turns into opportunity. Never give up on yourself because you think you fall short of circumstance or power or money or talent. Set goals and dream big. James Dean said "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." We are all so blessed because we get to go through this life with dreams, inspirations, passion, AND God. We can experience whatever we open our minds to!! But it is nice to realize that God is at the head of it all. I will experience what is meant for me to experience. It won't always be fun, but we are so lucky that He is there to guide us. I'm really confused right now on so many things to do with God and the future and religion and life. But I know that I will never, EVER give up on myself or give up on God. If I let myself listen to the surface of the world...I would turn away from God. But if I listen close enough I know that I will never EVER be convinced that God isn't real. There is a lot of hypocrits and a lot of judgments passed in churchs these days. It has turned some of the people closest to me away. But I do know that there will ALWAYS be judgmental people, there will ALWAYS be hypocrits. But God doesn't have anything to do with them. THEY made those decisions...not God. So if bad experiences have turned you away...just remember that not everyone is like that. Of course, we all make judgments and we all can be hypocrits..I can too. But I'm talking about how sometimes churches revolve around those very things. So yeah..........anyways, that's something I'm dealing with right now. Just thought if anyone else had those thoughts that I would encourage them to remember that God is the one we should focus on....not all the people around us.
Well I hope everyone has an AMAZING week!!!!! Have fun, relax, don't take life too, too seriously....unless absolutely neccessary...lol. :)
~Jess
P.S. I seriously miss my best friend Elizabeth, and Danielle, and Christina!!!!!!!!!!!! My amazing friends. :) These girls are so, so precious and I am so inspired by them all the time. I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Ok guys...so the previous entry was a tad dramatic I admit. Not that it wasn't how I was feeling at the time, but it was somewhat unneccessary to post that. I'm usually good about not posting anything when I'm sad or upset because I know I'll regret it later or be embarassed about it! lol But anyways....life is crazy!!! I was telling a couple friends that I need to write a book in all the drama my life has had so far. I'm sure a lot of us could write books on our lives. I'd say during all the hard times lately and through all the pain I have learned even more life lessons. I think God is trying to pull me down sometimes so that I'll come back to Him. Lately I don't know if you guys know this...but I haven't been anywhere that I should with God. I don't go to church, and I don't really try. But lately things keep happening that our breaking me. I think it's a good thing though. I am learning so much through everything that keeps hitting my life. It may hurt my heart, and it may be hard to keep going, but in the end I take out so much from it and my character gets stronger. I really need a lot of prayer right now because I'm trying to put my life in the right direction, but I really want another person to go in that direction with me. Please just pray that I can stand my ground and that hearts will be opened. In my previous entry I had said how you can't trust anybody and blah blah blah. But my dear friend Danielle (who is the best) reminded me that people will let you down everyday, but God never will. I can always trust in God and He won't let me down. That just really made me feel better and I realized that the only truth I have in my life is Him and His word. So atleast I have some truth!!! Atleast I have the most important truth of all! haha I have so many precious friends that God is using in my life. Danielle is amazing and I love the direction that she's going in her life with missions. She's so positive and uplifting. Elizabeth, my best friend, is always there for me even though she's up at college and she always keeps me grounded in the fact that God is who I need to follow. And I get to see adorable, fun Christina at school every other day and she makes me happy!!! :) haha I love all my friends. Then there's the people that I don't see as much, but still I can tell are such amazing people like Stephanie and Sarah Roberts. Everytime I see them they are so beautiful, and so encouraging. I don't even know them all that well, but they're so sweet. I'm so thankful for the fact that I've grown up with these type of people that lift me up instead of drag me down. Anyways, that is my more uplifting update. Sorry for the last one that was kind of a downer. I was just in a really really hard situation.
Yesterday night was our last Financial class. I had been taking a financial class every wednesday night with my parents. Honestly, I wasn't happy about it at first because everyone in the class was either old or older. But in the end, I loved it. I really don't think I would have gotten as much out of a class with people my age. Like I loved seeing our group leaders who were older interact together. They have been married for along time and still are so in love! Then there's a newly wed couple that are so in love and so in love with God. There was also a single mom who had recently become a Christian but already has such an amazing passion for God. I just learned so much from every person in the class, and I loved hearing their stories. They've experienced so much of life and it encouraged me to finish the rest of mine in the right way. Anyways, that was cool....soooooo just thougth I'd share how awesome something I thought wouldn't be was.
I hope everyone had an AMAZING THANKSGIVING!!!! :) I got to visit my family in Alabama which was great! I missed my beautiful cousins and my grandmother and my aunts and uncles! Then I came home to a house full of Christmas decorations and lights which was awesome. I love our house around Christmas, my mom does such an amazing job of decorating. But Merry Christmas to everybody!!!! I have to go to the mathlab at school because I have a test on Friday. SCHOOL'S ALMOST OVER!!!!!!! WOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I will update next time my life changes around. lol BYE!
~Jess
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| Well guys............I'm not sure who all reads this thing. But there comes a time in everybody's life when really serious decisions need to be made. Right now is a chance to make good decisions and change my life around. There's some things that I need to forget and some things I may never get over. (side note: if a guy lies to you...most likely he will do it again. I found out the hard way) Yesterday was the worst day of my life so far. I've realized that life is hard, and people can't be trusted. I went to Blockbuster and rented "John Tucker must Die" and it actually cheered me up...haha. It fit the situation I guess.
Be so careful who you trust guys. Don't throw your life away for a one person. I just want my friends to know how much I LOVE YOU!!!! I may be more careful to trust, but I know I can trust you. Please, PLEASE keep me in your prayers. I will try to do the same for you. Life is hard, and love hurts so much. I can only hope I come out of this situation learning more than I've ever learned before. I thought I would never, ever deal with this type of thing. I don't know....right now is a really hard time and I really know I have to step up and do the right thing. I may not be around as much for a while so I can get over this. But I'm still here for you guys. I'm not always a good friend because especially in devastating times like this I shut myself off to other people. I've lost friendships because of that and I'll never forgive myself for it. So therefore I may not be around as much or answer my phone as much. It's hard for me to talk on the phone. I always try to explain that but people still get mad at me. :)
Thanksgiving is coming up and I'll be spending it in Alabama with my family. It will be nice to leave town and get away from this humiliation. I'm planning on getting a job to occupy my time. I'm not planning to continue attending Chattanooga State after this semester or the next. I can't go back there, it's too hard. I've decided I need to put myself in a new life...a situation that doesn't remind me of certain people. A new job, and I'm going to spend my time looking for where to go to college. But anyways, I'm basically writing this message not for attention....but for prayers. Also, if anybody can learn from the mistakes I've made and avoid the pain themselves...that would be awesome. Alot of guys won't appreciate Christianity and morals...but stick to it. Never give up. They may not like it, but they will respect your strength in the end. I've made so many bad decisions in my life...too many bad decisions. But I have to find the strength to ask God's forgiveness and move on.
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