Agent_Orange's Xanga

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 02:49:17 GMT

i am so fucking exhausted

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 22:43:33 GMT

I am not having dinner with family and I am not having turkey

But I am so fucking happy

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:06:42 GMT

I love how the sky is gray and it's cold.

I appreciate a good breakfast now

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 23:40:43 GMT

Today I learned that morbidly obese people are humans too

Friday, November 09, 2007

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 22:15:15 GMT

nursing school is fucking killing me and i only have until march. i am losing friends one by one. im tired most of the time. i have no life.

all for financial independence.

OC animal shelter

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 22:29:36 GMT

I went to the local animal shelter and it broke my heart. I almost cried. So I go to just look if they have any puppies and I find some. Then I look at the cats, dogs, ducks, llamas, geese, chickens, pigs, goats, and bunnies. Jesus christ. I petted every fucking animal there almost. And I've decided to get a bunny instead. No, in fact, I wanted to buy all the animals and have a fucking farm.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 22:37:20 GMT

I wish I went to fucking medical school

Monday, October 22, 2007

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 10:48:33 GMT

I hate being human. We're such dispicable creatures. I hate this doctrine in the bible where it's better to commit sin, then repent and be forgiven, rather than not commit sin by self-restraint.

I don't strive for perfection...

I asked my mother for a brother when I was 4. He came...defective. Autistic. I've learned over the years to be careful what I wish for because there is always an ironic twist to it. I wish I could say that his status doesn't mean he is disabled. I wish I wasn't the first born because his burden lies on me since my father and mother are both irresponsible. It breaks my heart. I wish I didn't have this responsibility and I HATE the fact that I too don't want it and want to abandon him. It makes me so sick that I want to throw up. I wish I were wrong by having these feelings but they're true. I wish he weren't born. I hate his suffering.

Ask me what the greatest tragedy in my life is and it isn't divorce, poverty, molestation, neglect. It's him.

I need to finish school to be his protector again.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 22:46:18 GMT

Today my pt had a petit mal seizure.

(I prayed for it to occur in my head yesterday)

I know, I feel bad.

But now I can check off seizure precautions and follow up on my list.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 01:53:04 GMT

I've learned this far in life:

Act on instinct

Trust intuition

Do not jeaporize anything for anyone

Give people back what they give you (karma works too slow)

Let go

Be blunt with people always

Be selfish

Trying to be perfect is for the martyrs