沒有Tony的日子 - 第57日

Congratulations!!!! To you and me la ^_^  Grad day today....or well in a few hours.  Everyone is asking me why I'm not asleep yet.  Now you know why.

星期五看了Barbara's convo......you there blended in the crowd?  Or 你feel 0到all of us thinking about you at the same time?? You would have been there for sure la.  So many YOURS ppls grad at that time too....Jessica was also there.

看到convo的booklet嗎﹖你的名字跟我隔了一個人ja!  ONLY ONE!!!  如果那個人不來的話就是你坐在我的旁邊......為什麼你不在呢﹖到現在還是怪怪的......以為自己很會suppress我的感覺﹐很快就會沒事的。看起來可能是我自大吧......還好﹐我看起來還滿正常﹐對不對﹖OK la....可以合格 (I hope...)  最近有點stressed.....好像不知道自己想做什麼的樣子。太多東西要去想﹐會想一些莫明其妙的東西﹐然後應去做跟想的東西有沒完成。

我開始發現我真的不太喜歡車....家人出去我會很怕會有發生什麼﹐朋友開車我老是要提醒他們小心開車....前幾天Anthony跟我說開車去Langley上班會很想睡覺﹐嚇到我罵了他半小時。

Mmm.....almost 2am.......guess I should really sleep.......tell you more later on in the day.

沒有Tony的日子 - 第31日

1 Month.

Today is officially 1 month from the time I saw your brother at my front door.  Seems like so far away and once again~ unreal.  I see Shera's msn name....wondering where you are....or well~ at least I'm assuming she's indicating you.  Makes me wonder too.  I think you're watching us though, just relaxing and watching over us up wherever you are.  Every now and then, I think aii......now you can see how sloppy I am when there's "no one" around >_<  A whole new side of Agnes haha~

Who still reads xanga anyways??  I think those who knew you well definately do.....you were quite attached to this blog weren't you?  Makes me feel bad for not updating before...but I know you can still see this geh~  Like the title of the blog?  Hahahhaha~ I know you liked the show.....probably one of the most recent tvb shows you've watched eh.  Unless you started watching the Fiona one I sent you.  Whatever, I'll keep writing in my xanga.....as if I was talking to you....conversation between frds.  Of course, not just you reading   But~ better than me writing to thin air.

Marks for 2/5 courses are out la.  I knew before it was posted on the student services site ^_^  Not thru degree navigator but this graduate studies site that my brother showed me.  Gosh~ after 5 years in university...I never knew my academic record could be accessed elsewhere and that it gets updated even before SSC.  Buahhaha~ 351 passed!  That final was wretched......he was really being a jerk.  Those dumb fill in the blanks and then the Q's in the back.  Boy, asked everything that he said was "just briefly go over la" and didn't ask any of the stuff he took like 3 lessons to go over like all the folate stuff @_@.  371 was ok la...pretty much same as mt.  You distracted me from studying for final though >_<  Remember how you came to my house and helped me go through the entire text and circled and made notes on parts you thought were important from when you took the course?  So, I spent all week studying with your writing popping out at me all throughout the book.  You helped...but you also distracted me.....so thank you and shame on you haha.

Last exam yesterday......wrote until like 6pm and now....I'm so duk han.  What should I go do neh?  Tina and I decided we should go work out.......for real this time.  If we have no school and just sit around, we are gonna get so fat.  boooo.....  The grad dinner Ken was organizing is on the 17th, at Four Seasons...restuarant called Yves.  Told you I'd tell you when I know the details la.  The group menu looks tasty........I'm gonna get that lobster appetizer ^_^  好多人去......Grad jor and not grad ppls going too...

Today, new co-op started at my MSL lab....now I can't be too lazy around the office hahahahaaha.....I think I've bored her the first day already.  Had to rush month end invoices today so couldn't train her on that...had to do it myself FAST so I like set her to making stuff like solution and reading manuals all day.  I was so duk han already since not much to run lately........lucky someone brought in samples later in the day.  Now to keep her busy until supervisor comes back~ hmm.....but then that means I get no job then.  Oh well~ I need a break....I submitted my hours today.  Worked like 71 hours in the past 15 days neh~  makes up for no Cantest on weekends these few weeks eh but may not have been smart with 4 finals on my back. 

Ho la, tell you gum dor for now la~ take care.

Maybe Someday...

Today is the start of a new week.  March 30th seems like it was so far far away....the days that followed it just dragged on and on and on ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Went from shock to denial to acceptance and then sitting outside in the car yesterday, waiting to see you for the one last time.......I just froze.  I did not want to go in.....going in really meant that this was it, it was an end.  No more guessing, no more denial, only reality. 

Throughout the week, I've been asked a countless amount of time "how are you feeling?  you ok?"  That was such a hard question to answer.....I had no answer.  I heard that you were actually not afraid other people crying.......it's just with me that freaks you out.  Gosh~ if you were watching over us....must have scared you a few times this week >_<  Should also apologize to all those at my house Friday night.....didn't mean for the outburst to come ~ don't even remember what triggered it now but.....sorry.

However, after yesterday, I have promised myself that that will not happen again.  From this point on, whenever I think of you, it will be with a smile.  Although the heart will ache, these memories that I cherish are happy memories of the 10 years we spent together.  So for now, I will step on forwards into a new phase in life without you physically living across the field from me, but your presence will remain.  Then perhaps....maybe someday, we'll meet again.

But, I will take care of myself and will also learn to take care of those around me...so I will not see you until I am all wrinkly with no teeth.  No laughing when you see me like that though~ I'm gonna be a cute lovable por por ^_^  If you feel like laughing.....just nod with eyes wide opened, small smile and go~ Mm.

I'll miss you Tony, I really will....Thank you for the friendship you have shown and given me......Take Care.

With Love,

Agnes

Maybe Someday by Terre McPheeters

Now as we say goodbye, I'm so afraid to cry,
Tears falling from my eyes,
You know I love you.
Maybe someday, maybe some way,
We'll meet again.

Promise me things will stay
Just as they are today,
Love will not fade away,
Please won't you tell me
Maybe someday, maybe some way,
We'll meet again.

For you, you're a part of me,
With you, I can be strong.
And you, you believe in me,
With you, I'll carry on.

Maybe someday,
Maybe some way,
We'll meet again.

I wish we could find a way,
To make this last one more day,
Theres so much left to say,
I'll always love you,
Maybe someday, maybe some way,
We'll meet again

For you, you're a part of me,
With you, I can be strong.
And you, you believe in me,
With you, I'll carry on.

Maybe someday,
Maybe someway,
We'll meet again.

Maybe someday,
Maybe someway,
We'll meet again.

I know you use your xanga.......and have been telling me to update mine.  I'm finally listening......Come back Tony...

We are supposed to grad together.

Celebrate your b-day.

Celebrate knowing each other for 10 years.

Go sing K and sing all those songs from the show.

I was supposed to go watch your FNh 425 presentation and distract that person from asking you too many Q's.

You're not supposed to leave.

For the first time in my years of taking the bus, the bus skipped my stop today.  No, I shouldn't say one, nor two but THREE.  Blah~ what the heck.....I specially went out early too already thinking I was being an idiot.....going to bus stop before 7:30 for a 9am class.  Thought to myself, ppls are probably keen on getting to class so the busses will be full but ppls probably aren't THAT early.  Boy, was I wrong.  Stood at the bus stop for close to an hour since 7:30, watched a million 492, 488, 407, 430 go by and of course, kept watching those jam-packed 480's rumble forward.  At the same time, I watched the line at the bus stop progress from having 3 ppls to 5 ppls to 10 ppls and more...........all watching our bus go by.  Mind you, I was at the Cambie stop too......not the Sexsmith stop.  There were even more ppls there.  Ppls from Sexsmith started walking to our stop thinking they could get on~ wrong....

480's spose to cater for most of the students living in Richmond but the busses are all full before it even leaves Richmond........what the heck.

By the time the second bus skipped us, ppls started whipping out their cell phones either calling parents or complaining to someone........when the  third one went by~ we were just plain pissed.  Ended up calling my dad and got a ride to school instead....I was on time but I made him late.........  But, my daddy's so nice....sigh~  However, after taking like 2 hours to prep and actually get myself to class..............the class was only 45min and I had no tutorials today so I left UBC on the 10am bus.  I was home by like a little after 10:30 with a ride from Eric so I didn't even have to walk home.  Thanks Eric~  But yea......what a dumb day of school where the majority of it was waiting for a bus and transportation rather than actual school

Who said translink specially made arrangements to set up more busses in order for the mass capacity of students anticipated???? 

~ ahh......there we go~ I'm done ranting.......now to think of a solution for me to get to school without the situation like today repeating on Friday..........