im at lisa's and were having a "everything we used to do" sleepover. this means i type on xanga. we are gonna watch 2 towers and drink root beer every time someone says "the ring" and every time merry eats an apple. YAY!!!! now lisa is making a list of everything we used to do. the only other thing we did was watvch chamber of secrets. boooo. i dont wanna watch that. so we wont. lol. well. i cant think of anyting else we did. we played cards and sorry and life. so. thats gonna take and hour or two.

><> sarah

isnt it funny how people change? how ya think ya know a person. and they slap ya in the face...

but the worst thing is.

ya still wanna be there friend.

Thank You

I live in the largest city. Everyone has flocked here. For the most imporant celebration was to take place. Everyone was waiting for the celebration to begin. Only a few more days. I was walking around buying what I needed, when I heard a commotion. "The King is coming! He is here! He will take the place by storm!" You immediatley stop your work. Word has spread of this person. This Jesus. And here He was entering my gate! I had no idea if He really take the thrown or not. But I was not going to miss the day that might become the most important day of my life. I follow the crowd. Some took off their coats and cast them on the floor. Some children waved palms. This was joyous. The King was coming from Galilee. The land that had contributeed nothing for so many year might now produce the most important man in history. You look down the road - waiting for a man in white robes mayber even riding a stallion. But all I see is a small band of men. Is this the King? The one on the donkey. Why a donkey? Was it to avoid a riot among the officails? Was it to show He came humbly? Why? He passed. I did not look up. I felt unworthy. As He walked by I looked at Him - He smiled back. But His eyes were filled with some pain. Some pain I could not describe. What was it? I did not know.

* * * * * * *

I made the deal. He would be handed over. He was my King. All I had to do was hand Him over. That would start it. I could tell He wasn't going fast enough. If He didn't start it now then what would too late. He needed to take control of the people - if He was pushed into trouble then we will see Him rise. And I will be the one to do it. I Judas. The one who started Him on the path to freedom. All He needs as a push. A spark. And it will start.

* * * * * * *

"'Tear down this temple and I will raise it again in three days.' Did you hear that! He has spoken blasphemy. He will surely deserve death"

* * * * * * *

How? How did it come to this? He told me - before the rooster crowed. I never believed him. But it was true. He was going to die. I said I would die along with him. How did this come to this. Judas Betrayed Him! And so did I! I promised Him I would follow where He went. I told Him I would die along wiht Him. I made a promised to my King. I did not keep it. The whole city was here. Surely the poeple will save Him. Surely they will. They have to - they were cheering for Him as we walked in. This must be okay. Nothing can be ruined. Not with Him. No, not with Him.

* * * * * * *

"He deserves death? You want Him to take another criminals place?"
I found myself shouting "Yes" along with the crowd. But days before He smiled at me. He could not be the King. Where was His sword? Where were the armies? How could He let others take advantage of Him. He was surely not the King. He deserved death. And once again, I saw His pain. The pain in His face.
"Then I wash my hands of this deed." And he did.

* * * * * * *

I watched from the crowd. He was hanging by the cross. The prostitue was crying. That Mary. And the diciples were were crying. He was hanging. A sign was nailed to the cross. I felt cold. So many had made a connection with this King. I did. It was in one small moment. But I made it. And here He was. What was He thinking? He was dying faster then the others - or so it seemed. I do not kno what happened that night. But the world was never the same after that. I left. It was a sight I did not want to watch any longer. Women crying. People actually thought He was the King. Some even though He was more then that. People everywhere saw this Man die. Die in front of there very eyes. I will never ever see a sight like that in my life. Never.

* * * * * * *

What have I done. I handed Him over! It all backfired! What have I done! I'll give the money back. And Judas will live no more.

* * * * * * *

I asked Him for forgiveness. I was dying. He was dying. And I asked for forgiveness. He gave it too me. Surely this Man was not of this world. I was a theif. I was a horrible person. He forgave me. This was the only Man who cared. And He cared on His deathbed. He cared. He loved. He gave mercy. He showed kindness. He was the Messiah. He could have gotten out of this situation. But He didn't I do not know why. But one thing is sure. I will know. I will know in a few hours time.

* * * * * * *

"My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?!" The earth shook. And the temple was split.

* * * * * * *

I rushed to the diciples. He was alive. I was not crazy. We talked. He was there. I even saw where He was nailed. He was alive! How did this happen! He is the Messiah! He is!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you God. There are no other words. I wrote from every perspectice. Excpet yours. Because to understand what You were thinking would be impossible. I don't know why you care about me. I love you and will always serve you. I hope others will read this and be toached. But if no one does I still am glas I wrote this down. It helped me realize just how awesome You are.

><> Sarah Christine Ward

Biting Into An Apple

As I sit here thinking about the past 2 weeks I can't help but notice how are lives reflect those of an apple.  I know -- your thinking I'm weird.  Or else the idea just came to me because I happen to be eating one.  But seriously, we are so similair.

I had a frusterating month before spring break.  There were lots of worries. I came to God with all of them and spent time with Him.  I bit an apple.  As the month went on the stress and frusteration got worse.  I didn't have time to spend with Jesus.  My apple got brown.  Ya know, when you don't eat it all.  it gets dry and crusty. Then some of my stress was lifted.  I was able to pray with God.  Another bite, it was fresh.  But some other frusteratiions got moldy. I didn't eat one side of my apple.  Thats is untik break.  I spent about an hour with Him every night.  And for the first time it seemed as if I was holding a conversation with God.  We were like old friends.  I was venting to the only one that truely understood me.  I read my Bible I asked my questions to God.  I even sang to Him.  And the more and more I bit into the apple the more thirsty I got.  the juice was so sugary I couldn't put it down.  it juice was addicting!  The sugar in the apple was better then the suger in candy.  That sugar only stays in your system for a short while.  It tastes good.  But the flavor slowly goes away.  The sugar in the apple was natural.  God was feeding a part of me.  The more I was away from it the more I wanted it. I was eating more and more.  But I never got a stomach ache!

Ever noticed how humans have been eating apples longer then chocolate?  Because it's natural.  Humans NEED it.  Humans CRAVE chocolate.  We NEED fruit.

Then school came back around.  I was excited this week.  It was the last week of Christ's life.  It always makes me think. I always grow closer to Him. But Les Mis practice has taken over my days.  I fall into a life of routine.  My apple gets brown.  The air gets to it.  The juice dries up.  I forget what the juice tastes like. My mind starts craving the chocolate again. Until I realize that the candy won't ever be good enough! The apple lasts.  It fills me.  Tonight I will have time to chat with God.  My best friend.  I will have time to pray and get into everything He has to offer.  I have time to remember everything He did on this earth.  The new Relient k cd has helped me remeber that. 

One more bite....

Talking with my Christian friends..

One more bite.

Reading the The Word

One more bite.

Not dwelling on the candy....

One more bite.

Soon the brown dry apple will be gone. Only the juice will be left. And when you get through the apple to plant the seeds for more apples and you get through that as well. And when a worm gets into you apple you have to deal with it.  Some of the apple might get taken away forever.  But once you get a new apple you can go to the center again.  You can start new.

Because the stem of the apple doesn't matter.  The juice of the apple doesn't matter.  The skin doesn't matter  It's the core.  But you have to get there...It's hard.  But you can do it.....

One bite at a time.

Worship service was awesome today. I love Phil and Yoly.  They have set this church off in a whole new way.

God's been working with me.  I know there is some adventure wating for me. I don;t know what though.  It's frusterationg not knowing.....I guess Gos will tell me when He is ready to tell me.

><>