I happened to read the news on my homepage today and came across a truely tragic story. When does homicide turn into something uglier? Something so horrid, it's as if life has turned into one of those really good horror flicks. When does justice come to the victims if it is already to late? Even the young are not safe from such violence. We truely live in a violent society, one where no one is safe.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/03/03/texas.deaths.ap/index.html?iref=werecommend#cnnSTCVideo

Honestly, what is this world coming to when youth is taken away and replaced with hatred? You have to wonder if we allowed all of these things to happen. Really, I think we have. As a whole, we've become lax on what we allow our children to experiance. We've let the media and peers raise our children, to become what? Take a look at society as a whole. Take a good look at what's happening around you, you'll see just what went wrong.

Parents buying three year old girls make-up kits, to skanky dolls with babies. Boys get toy guns and other such weapons. Violent movies are all over, and most in reach of the youth mentality. We are forcing these young minds to grow quicker then they should. In turn, their mentality does not grow in the correct manner. Who's to blame when they get a warped idea about life? Everyone else, really.

I had to sit back and think about what the parents must have been through with their daughter. So young, so in love, and so stupid. That is tragic in itself. The heartache she must have caused her mother, and the trouble that in turn gave her father. All of it had an effect on the two little ones in the family as well. They obviously felt something a bit off about her boyfriend, and from the looks of it, they where correct.

What normal guy would let their girlfriend talk them into killing someone? I sat and thought, if my husband came home and told me to kill his family, I'd beat the living daylights out of him and leave. I don't get along with his family, and they don't like me much either, but a life is still a life. Would I ever cross that line just for love? No way. Love can happen multiple times, a life is only once.

You begin to wonder what kind of life these children where living? How messed up where their minds? No matter what answer I came up with, it's still their own faults for taking a life. No matter what the circumstances, change is always possible. Yet, neither one of them thought about the lives they where taking. No one thought about the 13 or 8 year old, not even their sister. For that, I think they should all suffer the same fate that poor family did.

I think it's been less of what I have learned then what I have come to agree as selfish. When one can be so absorbed by a relationship that it becomes worshipped, you start to lose who you really are. You live each moment as your partner, for your partner, that you forget about yourself. You surround the other person with such devotion and love, that it becomes blinding. When they hurt you, you feel horrible but never express this to them. You allow them to destroy your life because you love them, you don't want them to leave.

When the time comes that they finally say good bye, you still cannot let go. Every morning and every night, thoughts of them fill your head. You speak about nothing but them, you await their return. When that return decides to take a detour, you start planning on how to get them back and keep them. Your life becomes useless without them, and now devious with the attempt to get them back. You have lost something and will do anything to keep it with you. You use anyone in your path to attain the means of your goal. Destroying your own life and the lives of those around you.

It is in this that you find the selfishness. The selfishness of wanting one person and using the others to attain that. The selfishness of suffocating one person whom you want in your life more then anything. The selfishness of not knowing when to let go. I do not ever want to be that heartless. 
   

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Hi everyone! Hopefully I will be able to express myself as I intend to through my xanga. It is in the need to find myself that I must share what it is about me that confuses me, excites me, and depresses me. Feel free to speak with me. Any ideas would be very helpful.