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| But it seemed like such a good idea at the time....such a very, very good idea at the time...
Oh Darkness, you rock my socks.
Speaking of darkness, here I am, up when I should be sleeping, due to the fact that I have to be up in 6 or 7 hours to go to work. Why? Well, I jumped into bed, and immediately felt that slight euphoric feeling when you're really tired, and the current position you are at is SO comfortable you could just get knocked out.. but then I had this one idea..
and it led to another, and another, which led to a fantasy, which led to a funny scenario playing out in my head, which led to a funny comic's routine, and led to another idea... it was an avalanche of insomnia...
So, I got up, walked around a bit, drank a glass of water... and realized that I'm really really awake. Still plagued by that one idea, though. No, not that third one, the first one that started it all. What's weird is, when I thought it up, I felt really good about it. I could do it, with no regrets. It was simple, it was clear, it had an ending, and for some reason, I didn't feel lazy about following through with it, like I am with most things! It was that last part that really got to me. But, I figured since I should be sleeping, I'll get to it tomorrow. There'd be plenty of chances of doing it then, especially considering the incredible amount of nothing that I did today. I then thought of the things I DID do today, and the things I SHOULD have done... oi, I'm getting dizzy thinking about it.
It seemed like such a good idea at the time. And, being a temporary insomniac, I went and got up to the point RIGHT before doing it. What happened to the good idea? Where'd this hesitation come from? It's simple, just do it! (Hints you should have about this idea by now: It involves the use of a computer, and it's something that causes great internal conflict and hesitation)
So, here I am, on Xanga, with nothing to do but to try to be deep, trying to convey a message without explicitly stating it because of embarrassment flowing from an unknown source. Maybe I should just lie down, close my eyes, do a brain dump, and go from there...
...
Or maybe I can try some meds.. it's worked before..
...
Speaking of which, this week's House episode was just freaking incredible... ah crap, here comes another avalanche..
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| Slowly.. dying.. *bleeacchgrrrglegrgle*So yes, I couldn't keep my one New Year's Resolution, which was to go to the gym at least 3 times a week. It's not that hard, since there's a gym RIGHT next to my apartment. It's also possibly the MOST used New Year's Resolution, slightly beating eating less junk food and finding a hippopotamus and riding it for 5 minutes or more. But, I'm willing to gloss over the fact that we're into the 4th week of New Year's and start tomorrow! Yes, tomorrow is going to be a good day. I hope.
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| Wow, it's been a while..Holy crap, what the hell happened to that promise of something quirky later... TWO MONTHS AGO...
Ah well, I guess this is it, I suppose =P
---ZOMG SEMI-SERIOUS RANT, SKIP IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE BORED OUT OF YOUR SKULL LOLOL---
I know I had said that "this is all the time I have to commit to this".. but I was totally lying... it's pretty much been on Facebook, Gmail and various webcomic sites. It actually reminds me of this conversation I just had with good pal Jon "Superfly" Seepersaud... the conversation started when he spotted me listening to Fleetwood Mac, and started typing random lyrics.. to which I returned a thinly-veiled surprise that he even listened to ANYTHING like Fleetwood Mac. The conversation wound its course, and somehow ended up on relationships. I had asked about his girlfriend, and it turns out that it'll be 14 months (being ultra-precise by following that by "...in 4 days" o.o)... and then the spotlight turned on me...
*8-mile scene* CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE
So I just started with what seemed natural in my head; super-full course load, mega-labs, uber-projects.. haven't really thought about it at all, all term! He follows this with a "u tellin me u canttakeahalf hour ofa day and EXPLORE"(I guess the spacebar kinda died and ressurected halfway through), and the facade my brain put up just melted away. But then.... there wasn't anything under that facade.. no reason, no explanation... am I just shy? Was the facade the actual truth? I never truly answered them burning questions, because, thankfully, my brain has an anti-breakdown switch, which goes with whatever makes the most sense. If I find myself really connecting with someone, I'm not going to go out of my way to avoid it, because I "don't have time", but I know for sure I do not have time to go Johnny Bravo. And then after that, I didn't think about that anymore.
Overly thinking about settled matters plagues a lot of people, I find. It kinda wears down that anti-breakdown switch. In fact, I had forgotten most of the conversation with Jon (the only things that stuck in my head was that it started with Fleetwood Mac, his precision with the anniversary date, and it ended with him considering watching Basic Instincts starring Sharon Stone), and I needed to really dig to splurge all that above. Say I'm avoiding the important issues, say I'm lying to myself, say my grasp on reality and life is weak, say "Purple Monkey Dishwasher" 50 times, for all I care. This is working just fine, I find =D
---WHEW, THAT WAS SURE DULL, BUT ITS OVER, YAYAY----
AAAaaaaannnyway, I guess the point of all that above was to say that I like putting random stuff like that on xanga, even if people don't read/don't comment/don't care, because I think it's healthy to let my mind take a dump every now and then. I dunno why, but I don't feel comfortable using Facebook's notes system, so here I am, Xangaman! =D
My last exam is this Saturday... there is NO way in HELL that it'll come FAST ENOUGH... Christmas break should be lots of fun, and very relaxing at the same time, plus I have that sweet coop position at AMD/ATI to look forward to afterward! Any Christmas/New Years shindigs going on? I should be totally free =D
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| Well, it's not really a post, but it takes about as much time as I can give.. which is pretty much the same amount as I give to facebook. I'll try my best to give you something quirky later.
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| The best part of waking up......is your car battery blowing up....
Well, maybe it didn't blow up, but it did definitely fail... that certainly didn't help my morning commute... Lemme recap..
7:45 - @home - Oh crap, I'm late! Hmm, the battery light isn't on today, but it showed up yesterday.... ah well, I guess it's a good thing.
8:05 - 407 & Kennedy - Oh crap, the battery light just turned on! I hope this doesn't spell DOOOOOOOOOM
8:20 - 407 & Jane St. - Well, this is strange, my speedometer is telling me I'm going at 120 km/h.. but everybody is whizzing past me! Jeez, did everybody slip some LSD in their morning coffee today??
8:40 - 407 & 410 - Oh crap, uphill!
8:41 - 407 & 410 onramp - *put**put**put**WHEEEEZE*..... CRAP!
Fun times. The tow truck took me to the GM Dealership's garage right next to my workplace, which is convenient, however the dealership offset that convenience with their leechery... not lechery, that's just weird. Turns out my alternator died, which made my battery work hard for about 5 minutes.... and then that cursed uphill..... so, GM made me a deal. They'd replace the alternator with a brand new one, and even nicely give me a 1 year warranty... FOR $685!! Turns out the local Canadian Tire was able to do it for $150 plus labour... So, kindly flipping the bird to GM, I took my business elsewhere =P
When I finally got home at 10, I was so tired... I wanted to work on my Work Term Report (seeing as I'm moving in in a week)... stupid thing.. it's so hard to get started on it.. I know that once I do, I can get the BS train going.. but it's that initial bump that's killing me... arrgh, need motivation
Anyway, looking forward to Sept. 13, and looking into a super vespa to ease the commute to school.. my res is so far T_T... also, I'm getting a little wobbly about my camera idea, seeing as I've blown more than a week's worth of pay in one day yesterday.. but I need a memory-capturing device.... well, we'll see what happens..
Anime Watch: Lessee, it's been a while since the last time, and I've watched quite a few since then... so I'll be randomly selecting.... GunXSword.. it's about this guy named Van, who is chasing a man who killed his fiancee at their wedding.. oh, and he has a mech named Dann, meets a girl named Wendy, who looks kinda like the Wendy's girl, and carries around a sash that whips into a sword... yyyyeah.. there are lots of allusions to different tv shows and movies, such as the typical western theme of the story and the likenesses of the characters.. good series =D | | |
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