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Alanis_Brody
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Name: Alanis
Interests: I enjoy reading, writing, drawing, taking walks (especially in the rain), and getting myself lost in the woods or in abandon buildings. I am a frequent visitor of Fanfiction.net, as well as a prominent fan of the TV shows LOST and 24. I also participate in Civil War Reenacting (as a woman and, what is infinately more enjoyable, a soldier) and Renaissance festivals with my bestest friend Gracer (who also owns a Xanga sight). Mostly I enjoy reading my bible and many devotional books (specifically Keeping a Quite Heart, When God Writes your Love Story, and Grace for the Moment) and talking with God throughout each day. Without the strength He gives me, I would be unable to survive in this sometimes wretched place. Praise the Lord!
Expertise: One thing I can say is that I sew all of my own clothes for Civil War and Ren. Fair reenacting. I don't consider myself an expert writer as far as coming up with my own material (yet, I'm still working on that), but I know God has given me a gift for writing, and I intend to use it. Whether or not He's gifted me with drawing skills has yet to be proven.
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/13/2006
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| Joel as a hippie...good times...*giggle* I love him so!
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| Good Idea, Bad Idea...So, like I said, I started writing in one of my journals during Spring Break. It was amazing, but...probably a mistake, since now I am forced to lay it aside for the next three+ months while I finish the school year with grayish, somewhat sagging colors. It is an amazing story, or will be, once I get it rolling. For the first time I've started not knowing exactly where I'm going and not giving much thought to serious detail. I just started writing. Someday, when I've finished the first draft, I'll look back through it and probably yak up my lunch a couple times, and then I will set to work going through it once more and refining it...then again...then again...until it is done, or at least passable.
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| Death of a College StudentOver the past month or so I've come to realize under more certain terms what has been slowly building in my subconscious - a truth about what's happening to me that I did not see until recently. In my pursuit of a College education in order to further my ability and knowledge of writing, I have been severely swamped with those normal faculties of school...classes, homework, jobs, extra stuff like theater and what-have-you...but mostly classes and homework. A newly acquired boyfriend requires more of me as well, which I am certainly willing to give.
What all this comes down to is that, by and by, being at Grace has hindered the creative streak in me for writing. Not only can I not write as often due to time constraints, but lately as I've tried to set aside time to myself, to let my mind wander above and beyond homework and obligations and grasp all those ideas that once ran rampant up there, I find that I can't. Nothing comes to me anymore. Especially during the past two semesters, my brain and intellect has been so overloaded with this reading assignment, that philosophical concept, those symbols in that boring-as-hell story...things that I stopped enjoying or even caring about months ago...that I now just plow through with the hope of getting a decent grade and getting it over with.
At first I thought I was getting sick of reading, which saddened me deeply, for reading and writing are my greatest passions in life. This may be true, this growing aversion to literature, but I truly hope it does not run that deep. I believe what I'm truly tiring of is reading things I don't want to read, and being unable to enjoy them even if I DID want to read them because I have to spend my reading time reading all the double meanings and finding all the symbols within the text. I'm SO FREAKIN SICK OF SYMBOLISM!!
I was at Barnes and Noble with the Remnant group during Spring Break last week, not because it was my choice, but because everybody else wanted to hang out there for a while. Lately, when I've gone into book store I have experience a sense of repression, since not only can I not afford to buy brand new books or notebooks, but I haven't time to read them or write in them. This particular incident was no exception, in fact it was almost ten times worse. I felt horribly empty inside.
I expressed this to Joel, who encouraged me not to give up - that even though I haven't got time to write, to still let my imagination run, and that one day I'd have all the time I wanted to write to my hearts content. This, along with a sudden burst of obstinacy toward Grace College in general (who I blame rather unjustifiably), gave me hope, and I immediately saw a book and decided to buy it, brand new, with no idea what to expect. It was Jane Austin's Mansfield Park. I also bought to new notebooks, one in which I started writing almost immediately, for an idea that had for the longest time been silent awoke in my mind and demanded to be put to paper, and so it was.
It was a good day
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| Grrr...Why can't they just leave stuff the way it is? Honestly, why must they
change everything around and make it so that you have to re-learn how
to use something that you thought worked perfectly fine before?!
*pant..pant* ok, I'm done ranting about that for now.
I wish I had the time to post on this dumb thing more often and make it
worth my time to up-keep it. I like it better than Facebook in that its
more personal (and I can put hot background images of Rose and The
Doctor making out at last!)
For now...well, I guess here's a poem I started in class one day.
Probably the first poem I've written myself without having it be for an
assignment or some crap since...well, the beginning of last semester.
Sort of pathetic, really...oh well.
Surrender. A difficult-
No, impossible
Possibility.
Soft as a sparrow,
Striking, striking,
Determined to steal,
To steel, inpenetrable
Daggars and sheild.
Protection, yes-
No! Protecting
Against this surrender.
A difficult - No!
Impossible - yet -
Possibly so.
A sparrow who sings
Songs fit to rend,
To melt, yes,
Melt the armor away.
Burning - No!
Away, damn nuisance,
Lice-ridden leech
Striking, striking,
Without surrender,
Under watch,
Taken care of -
Taking care of
An unsurrendered
Heart of steel.
Surrender. A difficult -
No! Easily
Refusable possibility.
Striking gently,
Gently, gently-
Thats all I have. Class ended and I was forced to rejoin the masses
heading toward my next class. *sigh* I can't wait to be done with
school, and yet I know that shortly after its all over I will be
sighing and singing "I wish I could go back to college."
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| This is such a lonely little Xanga board. I'm just sitting here waiting for Joel to pick me up for church, and remembered my Xanga with it's awesome background pic and red lettering...*sigh* not exactly sure what happened to posting here all the time. I certainly used to. Has entering into a dating relationship distracted me that much? Maybe not. I know there have been long spells in the past where I haven't posted. Not that many people read this thing anyway, most stay in touch through Facebook because it's easier and requires less interaction (/poke). With Xanga, you actually have to take time to write a post or respond to the posts of others. Granted, Facebook does have a wall and message inbox...oh well.
Maybe my Xanga will just have to become my online journal that nobody reads...oh wait, it already is!! Heh
As a side note, I suppose, I got a part in the student-directed winter play, Pygmalian. I'm the housekeeper, Mrs. Pearce. I was also going to be the Hostess in the ballroom scene, but it got cut (/me sheds a small tear).
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