Out of My Hands by the Turning

Ok, so the song lyrics are somewhat correct. I was trying to figure them out from a download that was not great. Bah. But honestly, I love this song. I think it accurately describes my life. So....here they are:

All my restless heart can do is cry.

I step to my heart into the night

The tide’s turned again

And nothing felt right

I searched for truth and sought your light

And all my restless heart can do is cry

Everything I held is out of my hands

Everything you bless is not what I planned, not what I’d seen, not what I’d dreamed

Everything I held is out of my hands

Everything you bless is not what I planned, not what I’d seen not what I’d dreamed

And everything I held were dragging my heart so far down

And the things I dreamed were nothing, were nothing as they seemed

Everything I held is out of my hands

Everything you bless is not what I planned, not what I’d seen, not what I’d dreamed

Everything I held is out of my hands

Everything you bless is not what I planned, not what I’d seen not what I’d dreamed

And I questioned you

And doubted you as the god I know

Over again, you saved me from myself

I don't Know

Well, after my last rant about boys, I realize there are many guys who do not try to flirt with or pick me up. Those boys would be my friends and relatives. :) I love having guy friends, albeit, it seems you always have to go through a weird "flirting/interested" stage before a real friendship can develop past that. However, I know that I have some good guy friends who I would never want to lose. As I enter FMC in 3 weeks, I realize I may not have the chance to really talk to a lot of guys...seriously....it's a weird thought.

Completely other topic, because I want to move on: I am a bass guitar player. Last night I went to see Collective Soul with my brother (also an aspiring bassist, who actually can play well) and he kept pointing out the cool bass lines. It was endearing. Something to bring Josh and I together :) I strive to continue to learn bass, although it definitely has not been top priority.

This is all.

Boys.....

Even though I know a lot of people probably don't read this, I have some boy stories to share. Don't worry, not much details envolved, just enough to say "boys...argh."

So this entire summer I haven't had a single guy imply "interest" until the past 2 weeks. Honestly. I just think it's kinda funny that after I have decided that pursuing even the start of a friendship with a new guy at this point would be quite meaningless, all of a sudden two cute guys enter the picture. And I don't mean to sound...umm..i dunno....but both the guys are black. And I know this is weird, but I've always wanted to date a black guy. And there the opportunity is. I think I've been quite resilient by staying enough aloof with one, and pretty honest with the other in a refusal to give him my number. But still....some part of me thinks...what would one date do???

My mom says, "Alicia, maybe Satan is attacking you in these final weeks." Ok, some of you might not believe in Satan, but I do. And in three weeks, I'm entering into a "covenant" to not date guys and to not interact in romantic ways with them. So, although this may be true, I think really God was just protecting me. If either of these guys would have approached me earlier in the summer I most likely would have assuaged their requests with yes instead of no.

The other sort of ironic thing is that I actually am going out with a guy on Sat. But he's an old friend, and while he might hope there's some "interest" there, there isn't. And he's not black, he's mexican. :)

Anyway, boys are crazy. To the guys out there...if you're interested in a girl, go ahead and ask her out. what could be the harm? Even if she says no, I'm sure you will still make her day, because it lets her know someone notices her. So even though I said no to these guys....it still is nice to know they were interested. And they could hold out for a year....and wait for me ;) hahaha. But, really, I'm not all that interested, and a year from now, I'll probably still want to be single...or be more interested in some 30 yr. old because he'll be more mature than these 20 yr. olds. :)

Don't worry..to all you 20 yr. old guys out there...one day you will grow up. And, I might just be in a weird mood tonight. And just you watch, I'll end up marrying a guy who is younger than me after all...because no matter how much I talk, those are the ones I seem to attract....bah.

A good day at work. Physically exhausting though. When the day started I was tired and already sweating from the heat. The campers were moany about the extreme heat, too. But we got started and played some fun games and it was a blast overall. I was also able to spend some quality time talking to a camper about some stuff going on at home and at camp. I want to be able to help out whatever campers I need to. I must admit, I love Sports Camp. The campers are a lot of fun, and being active all day really helps the day go by fast. However, it does physically wear me out.

Next week I'm back with teens (again). But this time Romee and I will finally be BOTH working together! Super excited for that one. It should be a good time. I should check what our fieldtrips are for next week then. I just checked...Great America! Sweet. AND the Military Challenge that should be physically exhausting, but educational; and hopefully fun.

Well, Shelly and John were just here. I had so much fun with them visiting. We hung out, went swimming at Lannon Quarry, dinner at the Safehouse, and Summerfest. Sunday was church and lunch with the family and then Pop's Custard.

And this weekend I'm going to Iowa for Ranae and Kevin's wedding. Shoudl be fun times as well. I bought Ranae and icecream maker. Heck yes. How cool is that? Hannah and I are roadtripping down there and camping out for the weekend. Yup. Again, how fun is that? Too much fun.

Check ya'll later.

Peace and love.

So it's been an outrageously long time since I've written anything. Just to do a little update: I graduated from college! Yup. It's over. Goodbye, Morris. When will I see you again? When will I drive across the prairie.....wind through beautiful Glenwood, play the Cyrus game (say hi to Brett's house on the way) and pull into the beautiful Ethanol smell of Morris? Probably not for a LONG while. Yes, I know I will miss Morris. But I will treasure my memories and move on!

I had my graduation party last weekend and got to see my wonderful familia. I'm excited to move to El Paso and get started at Master's Commission and my family is excited for me, too. Right now I'm even playin with the idea of moving to Mexico next summer. Why not, right? Why not?

Right now my back is super sore from being dropped on the ground a lot yesterday by the sports campers. I'm doing sports camp this week at the Y...yup......and they're some rough boys. Fun though. Lots of fun.

Camp has been an amazing experience. I've been all over the place, teens, 10-12s, sports, 5-6s. I'm enjoying myself. Enjoying the campers. Enjoying the staff. Singing loudly and loving West Suburban. My staff makes it a wonderful time. Even though there definitely is less organization than TC, the casualness and friendliness and close-knit staff is one of a kind. Although a lot of it might be due to my positive attitude this summer.

I feel like writing more. Maybe I will take this back up this summer.

John and Shelly are coming to visit me soon! woohoo!  peace out everyone.