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Saturday, July 14, 2007

  • I wonder why nobody uses xanga anymore...

    It used to be the key to instant online fame...that is if you were an emo & wrote depressing poetry every week.  You'd get random comments from fellow 15 year old heartbroken girls with pink polka dotted bows in their hair saying "that is lyk...so deep, man."

    But of course, nothing that good can ever last forever.

    I'm going through this pretty crazy phase lately.  I feel clingy.  I feel like I'd be nothing if I were to ever lose him...I hate feeling this way.  In fear.  He tells me I have no thing to worry about.  I should believe him...I do believe him.  I just still feel a tad worried.  He doesn't deserve to be treated the way I treat him sometimes...but I'm very lucky...because he is VERY forgiving.  Ah well.  I did this to myself.  If only I had the strength.  I'd turn back time in a heart beat. 

    Moving along...

    I was going through some old xanga entries earlier...not just my own.  It was sad.  It was also a reality check.  "Geez man, was I THAT MUCH of a loser?"  It happens.  I got pretty sad looking back, though.  So many things are changing.  I'M changing.  I'll be a senior soon.  I'll be applying to colleges in October....


    This is really scary.
    What happened to the grief-stricken fourteen year old who's only concern was her lack of a boyfriend?  What happened to THAT?  Wow.  Things have gotten so much harder...uggh. 

    I'm going to be eighteen in six months.
    At last I will be a legal adult..  I will be old enough to vote...

    Damn

    My car sits in the garage...I'll be driving that soon.  I really wish I felt prepared for all this. 

    Ever feel like your shoes were too big for your own two feet? 

    I feel really overwhelmed by everything right now...I actually want to cry...
    But I won't let that happen.  I've made mistakes.  But I won't let them get the best of me.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

  • I have a ridiculously huge mouth.  Seriously.  I suck real badly sometimes.

    Ugh.
    I hate when this happens...where I want nothing more than to just be able to turn back time & bite my tongue.  I've been doing this a lot lately..and it is getting utterly ridiculous.  I need to learn to shut my trap & appreciate what I've got....like they've been telling me all along.

    I need to be kicked in the face & then run over three times with my own Mercedes.

Monday, June 04, 2007

  • Ps-

    [Look at this sexy profile picture I found]

  • Damn, Woman!
    When's the last time you've written in this DAYUMN thing?
    Its been a while, I guess.  I guess I just no longer see the purpose in writing down every last emotion for the whole world to see like I used to.  Ehh..What's that point, na'mean?

    There's really nothing for me to vent anymore.  My life is actually...*le gasp* good.  Its gotten better.  I have a boyfriend of one year, five months...we are in love.  I have a family that loves me.  Though I've lost some close friends over these past few months, I've held onto the ones who matter.  I guess life just isn't completely horrible anymore.  Either that or I've stopped being such a drama queen since I've gotten into this whole xanga thing.

    You know, I was actually thinking about deleting this thing...but I can't.  Its just so funny to see all these little fits and all these little phases I went through.  All the guys I liked....the ones who "broke my heart" [Stabby stab stab].  Wow.  I'm so glad I grew balls.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

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