Hey ya'll.

So me & Joshiah are offically over. I think it's for the better. He still wants to be involved in Hayden's life. And I want him to be. But I'm not sure if that's the best for her sake I guess. I don't know right now. So no apartment for us. Just him.

I'm okay with living here for awhile though. I'll need help from my mom and sister. So for now i'm staying here and that's a good thing since we already had Hayden's room done here and everything. I couldn't imagine redoing a whole new baby room god.. it takes so much effort haha.

Let's see....

Yesturday I went to the doctor. It was pretty short. Just a check-up kinda thing. I have a sonogram Wednesday at 2. So i'm excited for that. I'll have to scan and put the pictures on here if there good unlike the last ones.

Then I went out with an ex of mine. He's just a friend. But we had fun. He made fun of me cause I ate like all different types of foods. haha. Mexican. Wendy's. Ice Cream. And then Pasta haha. He's like " God damn you are pregnant " haha. He thinks my tummy is cute though haha.

Today so far has been boring. I'm tired I'll probably go nap or something. I kinda wanna go get some baby clothes... but Idk. I feel like today is a lazy day haha.

<3 Cecilia

Hey. I took that tummy picture last night. To show how much bigger I've gotten.

anyways.. A lot has gone on since last night really. Joshsiah.. Hayden's daddy is being a total dick. He's choosing drugs over everything right now it's horrible. I can't stand it. He's really immature. I don't really know what to do. He was suppose to come over after I got out of school around 3ish but didnt' show up.. and my friend said he's out smoking with a few friends. God grow the fuck up your about to have a fucking kid.

I hate that so much.

So I had morning sickness at the begining of my pregnancy but it was convente with the fact that I only got sick at night...Well now I'm getting sick agian I don't know why.. I'm not running a fever so I know I'm not really sick. But I dunno. Has this happened to any of you?!? Let me know..

I haven't been getting very much sleep lately. So I usually have a headache all day at school. Today was finals and I feel that I did pretty well on them and I hope that I pass this unit with flying colors if not then I'm screwed.

I'm gunna go get some new clothes tonight though. And that's always exciting. I usually wear between XS or S. But I need to get a bit bigger shirts cause it's kinda.. " slutty " to wear shirts that don't fully cover your tummy.. Mine right now do. Cause I'm wearing baggy shirts or hoodies with sweat pants.. it's the only thing that's comfortable anymore.. but I need a few cute shirts... so I can look more decent.

Well that's all I really have to say. I've gained more weight. 10 pounds was before now total weight gained is 18 pounds. I'm excited.

I don't think I wanna move in with Joshsiah in that apartment his parents got us. Not until he grows up.. plus I kinda want my mom around while Hayden is still young. Idk.

<3 Cecilia

HEY!! Thanks for all the comments. I'm actually really amazed at how many I got.

I really am just 16. Sorry about the birth date thing. I guess that makes me immature?

anyways. I do have new pictures tho. I'm getting bigger by the day it seems. And I dont really mind cause all those stupid girls that say I had an abortion and shit can't really say much now since I'm getting bigger.

Things with Daddy aren't so great. I know we aren't going to last forever but I want us to be together at least when (offical name) Hayden is born. And the legal issues we got all worked out so not worried about that anymore.

The doctors appt. went well. I got to hear her heart beat.. we didn't take a sonogram this time.. but we will in about a week in a half or so.

We decided on Hayden Ameilia .. Not so excited about her middle name but my boyfriends mom wanted that name in there so I had to really cause they are really helping out with so much. But I can make due. haha.

Everyone is pretty excited I must say. I am too. I need to get a breathing coach yet and go to Lamase classes but all that will come soon i'm sure. I'm a bit nervous tho.. eek. And ready for her to be here!! God.. I can only imagine... I want to see her and what she'll look like .. I know no matter what in my eyes she will be perfect... but I just wanna hold her.. and kiss her.

I'm trying to think what else to update on since I haven't in forever. I've been really busy with school and finals. And just trying to get things together school is my main priority right now..

My friend Kris lost her baby God it was so sad. She was 3 months along but still it's so sad when you have a miscarriage. So I'm giving her a lot of support and stuff. She's 18.

Well I have to go take a shower and get ready for bed my back is killing me. Do you ever get like a back ache right in the middle of your spine?? God I feel like nothing will pop it or make it feel better. Oh well

<3 C

Hey. I got a new xanga. One to keep more track of the pregnancy and stuff.

Things are going slow but great. We got her room all finished. I love it. I think I go in there every day after school just wishing she'd be here already. I'm just now starting to show and I love it!! I wanted to be really big but I'm not.. Oh well that's what you get for having a small frame. I've gained around 10 pounds though.. which is good I need to gain more tho to have a "healthy" pregnancy.

I go to the doctors tommorow for another check up and another sonogram. I'll probably be able to see her better this time which I'm really happy about cause last time the pictures weren't so good.

We are planning to have a baby shower when I get about 7 1/2 to 8 months tho. For some reason that seems like for fucking forever.

I decided on a few names for right now..
Girl:: Hayden Kristine
Chloe Nicole
&& Just incase we have a surprise and it ends up being a boy I picked out
Boy:: Braden Lee or Corin Braden

so yeah. Those are my names. Not perfect but I like them.

Me & Joshiah are offically back together. We talked everything out and after being together for 2 and a half years it only seems perfect to be together again. He's perfect. We're perfect and we are going to start our family. His mom and dad bought us this really cute apartment that they are renavating and we get to move into in about 5 months. Which is around good timing and since Joshiah is 19 there are a lot of legal rights involved but if we get married then everything is in the clear.. So yeah we've actually talked to a few people and stuff and gotten things worked out. I'll be 17 in no time.

Well I'm off to bed. My baby is staying the night with me tonight which is good I've been having really bad early contractions. That's why I'm going to the doctor. But my baby is taking very good care of me.

My mom bought me this really cute baby outfit today. Well not for me but the baby of course. She's starting to get use to the fact she's going to be a grandma. And now she loves it. She's planning the Baby Shower and everything. My Dad is starting to get more involved even tho my step sister got pregnant around the same time as me so they are dealing with her right now. She's around 5 weeks though. Different from 6 months. haha.

Goodnight ladies

<3 Cecilia