I turned in my final draft for my senior writing project.  All 40 pages: written, edited and rewritten. 

Now, there's just Latin.  Pray for me.  Latin sucks big bunghole, but I'm so close. 

I'm off to bed.  I'm all caught up on Lost (Atom, Ben rocks it!  He's like a bug-eyed little ninja, isn't he.) 

More on Lost later. 

More on Jericho later.

More on life later.

Need.
Sleep.

Zzzzz....

Hey all.  Still here.  Just buried in schoolwork and E-stuff and life in general. 

E is doing well.  She's almost 10 months old.  I'm so proud of her and how fast she's growing and learning.  She said "mama" the other day when she hurt herself and started crying.  She reached up and said it: MAAMAA.  So, it warmed my heart that she said it.  All this "da da da da da" and finally a mama!  Good stuff.

She has an appointment with a general surgeon coming up.  The bump on her leg still hasn't gone away.  I think it's gotten a little bigger.  It's on the side of her right thigh and it's about the size of an almond, under her skin.  It's also getting harder and the skin around it puckers in.  Of course, I'm scared to death.  I try not to think the worst, so I hope it's something minor that can be removed (if necessary,) w/o much pain or trouble.  I don't even want to think of worst case scenarios right now.  It doesn't hurt her, so we'll see.  I'm losing sleep over it and having some serious anxiety dreams.  If it's not about her leg, it's that she's falling out of the crib, or falling down stairs, or that I'm not there in time to catch her.  Sometimes, it's just too much--the worry--at least it seems that way right now.  I feel like I have no real outlet for this stuff as most of you could probably care less about hearing about all baby stuff all the time.  I know it's not for everyone.  So, I just keep it in.  As I said, it's just a lot sometimes.

School is so close to being over. I have two of my 4 classes finished.  Latin is still looming over my head, but I'll finish that up last as my teacher will give me up to the very last day to do so.  My senior writing project has 35 of 40 pages finished and then there's rewrites (which I'm usually very quick at.)  Next Thursday the defense of my honors project.  I'm nervous, but I'll get through. 

CSU is all settled and ready to go.  I just have to finish these classes and get my grades finished so I can show them I am indeed finished.  Still haven't heard about the Teaching Assistantship yet.  I may forgo it the first semester just to give myself some time to settle in. 

J had his 38th birthday yesterday.  We went to see Iron Man (that movie rocked!)  And had dinner with my folks.  He has his Rush tickets now and will go in June. 

I'm tired a lot.  I think it's because I'm eating poorly (a lot of sugar, which I usually avoid or just have no interest.)  Since I was pregnant with E, that changed.  Now, I think it's just psychological.  I'll look into eating better once school is out.  I feel like I am so stressed right now.

Talked to Sandstorms a bit the other day (thanks to her handy-dandy local number that she somehow managed to weasel for herself.)  I just need to remember what times are best to call and forget the time zones, etc.  I'm forgetting a lot of things lately.  I'm just not as sharp as I was.  Maybe it's all the cramming and such, or it could be I'm not taking very good care of myself.  I just feel down a lot lately.  J works nights.  So, it's E and I.  And we're alone, and while I love her, I get lonely.   Talking to her and reading to her isn't exactly a two-way conversation (yet!) 

Anyway, that's about it.  Got Entourage Season 3 to watch.  Those go by fast, so they'll probably be in my mailbox going out by the end of the day.  Galactica is awesome.  House has started up again.  I finished Lost season 3 and am almost caught up with season 4 (it rocks so far!)  I'm happy with my television. 

Later peeps, and best to you all.

I'm cleaning the kitchen and E grabs a piece of mail off the table and starts to play with it.  It's making her so happy and so excited that I have to see what it is that's thrilling her so.  I look and see what appears to be a flier, white paper, blue lettering.  What is so fun about that?

It says...

Do you sometimes feel that there is a hidden enemy working against you in life? 
THERE IS.

I open to find out because I'm curious.  Meanwhile, E is trying to grab it out of my hands, flapping her arms wildly.

YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY!

A flier for scientology!  Delivered right to my doorstep.  How nice is that?  Inside are a huge list of questions.  Here are some of those questions:

Do you tend to exaggerate a justifiable grievance?
Are you too logical and scientific in your thinking?
Do you often make tactless blunders?
Do you often sing or whistle just for the fun of it?

Somehow, these questions have something to do with our spiritual health and scientology can help you. 

You want to know the sick part?  It's addressed to my daughter (her full name.)  I'm not kidding.  Where the F* did they get my 9 month old daughter's name? 

At the bottom of the page it says, "if under 18 please have a parent or guardian sign."

Uhhhh......

So, I'm writing a well-worded letter to "Hubbard Dianetics Foundation / 3385 S. Bannock St., Englewood, CO 80110" and explaining that my daughter is just a wee young to be brainwashed and will kindly thank them for being pieces of shit that exploit everyone and everything they get their fat, greedy, grubby little scientology hands on.

Is this creepy?  I mean, seriously.  Xenu wants my baby.

The little girls across the street (who I have written about before--the little entrepreneurs who do lemonade stands and dog-walking services and probably already have thousands of dollars stashed away,) had something they HAD to tell John today.  He went over there and lo' and behold, their cat had kittens. 

There was one he had his eye on--a little girl--who bears a striking resemblence to Turtle_Dove's cat, Coco:

LINK TO TD's COCO

John brought her over.  The kittens are about a week old and this one was so sweet and already purring and let me hold her for quite a long time (especially for a kitten.)  I had to immediately call my mom and say, "tell me not to get a cat again, not yet."

Mom: "Just say NO."

Me: "Ok."

Still, I can't help but think and think about that sweet little kitten.  I don't know if I can be strong enough.  But, I also have Emma to worry about.  She might be too rough with a kitten (doesn't understand "gentle" yet.)  I mean, we'd have to be very careful and it's cleaning a litter box again and buying kitty food and all off that.

I just don't know.  I miss Mousie so much still.  I feel so lonely sometimes, after E goes to bed--when J is at work, my kitty would come and lay on my lap and I'd be reminded that I had a friend who would stay up late with me.

Anyway...... 

(huge sigh)

• School: Cramming for Latin tests and writing for projects and for my honors class.
• E-baby: She's doing great.  She's crawling up a storm and already trying to walk.  She's also clapping and pointing more and doing lots of squealing.  It kind of sucks with her being on antibiotics all the time now.  We got a (watermelon) flavored batch this last time, but trying to get her to open her mouth when she knows what's going in is still a task. 
• Watching Season 3 of Lost.  Pretty good so far.  I'm still such a huge Sawyer fan, but Kate annoys the frack out of me.  Nice to see Nathan Fillon as a guest star, too.  Also, I'm liking Desmond quite a bit.  Gone Baby Gone is sitting on my nightstand ready to watch when I'm done cramming.  I'm a huge Dennis LeHane fan, so I'm excited to see what's been done with his book.
• Nothing else to report.  Ironman comes out soon. That will be my reward for finishing up the semester.