i am so lame.  i can't bring myself to write in my real journal because i am so far behind.  i'll probably end up just starting a new one.

so tonight kristel and i watched elizabethtown . . . gosh i had forgotten how much i really do love that movie.  then we watched breakfast at tiffany's, we she had never seen before.  she loved it.  that made me really.  it was such a disappointment to me when some of my other friends didn't like it.  now we're "watching" the notebook but really it's just on.  anyway my point is it's been a good, peaceful night.  i've gotten most of my homework done for the weekend, had a few laughs, and imersed myself in the world of some of my favorite movies.  i feel okay.  i really do.

these movies all feature women that i admire/would like to be/do in fact see myself in.  audrey hepburn/holly golightly.  claire (not so much kirsten dunst, but claire) and susan saranden's (sp??) character and her.  and allie in the notebook and rachel mcadams.  I wish I could be like audrey/holly and handle everything with style and grace and elegance.  i want to be as well-traveled as claire, and as in control of myself as she is.  and well, i just want a noah so that's why i want to be allie, lol.  and i share her infatuation with the color red.  i share audrey's affinity for the color black.  it seems like i am stealing attributes from these characters and making them my own.  that's really not it though.  i have always been attracted to the elegant and classiness of these girl's livestyles, been envious to them even.

i am rambling now.  but i wish i lived in a movie.  or, well, had movie-esque moments.  i have had a few, granted.  maybe it's just that i wish i could be as mysterious as characters in movies are, because you don't see their whole world complete with all the little grotesque details, they are still mysterious.  in the real world, claire's right: "no one's as mysterious as they think they are."

does anyone even read this?  oh well, it felt good to write something.  maybe i'll start reading more now.  i bought several books.

<3

wow it's almost halloween.  time is flying by.  the time before christmas always seems to fly by.  but i want to hold on to college.  i want to hold on to now.  i'm scared of what's coming.  yes, i know something's coming.

"because moment's don't last.

they aren't meant to"

-dot the i (excellant movie)

but we all wish they did.  art in its essence is people trying to hold onto moments.  my photography.  my writing.  all of it.  but they don't.  they fly by.  and we can't make them last.  and i guess we're not supposed to.  but damn.

damn.

<33#

Currently Reading Three by Tennessee Williams: Sweet Bird of Youth/the Rose Tattoo/the Night of the Iguana/3 Plays in 1 Book (Signet Classic) By Tennessee Williams see related

it's storming.

and i leave for college on thursday.  i am ready.

so much to say goodbye to, but those things can't hold me back.

*sigh*

Currently Listening Jasper County By Trisha Yearwood see related

mood: sentimental?  no, just kind of sad.

"nothing here's the same, except for the georgia rain . . . "

that's a good song.  i love songs about first love.  which i suppose is just my way of depressing myself.  but i do love those songs, and country music has some amazing ones.  georgia rain, strawberry wine, that summer, anything but mine, the good stuff, she's in love with the boy, heart dont forget (or w/e the name is), and more . . . maybe it was memphis is an amazing song, too.

i don't want to be old.

for some reason, the summer is just equated with country music for me.  i always get in a country mood.  i love the ideals they portray about summer.  summertime by kenny chesney is excellent for that . . .

i know i don't hang out with many country music lovers and i understand that.  there were a few years that i denied ever having listening to it.  but i believe it was the summer before (or possibly after) ninth grade where i became addicted to it again.  it's in my blood.  it's hard to describe why i like it so much.  "don't rock the jukebox, play me a country song"

i leave for jekyl island tomorrow and i'll get back on monday.  maybe a week away will do me some good.  cheer me up.  get my mind off all the thousands of things it's on.

i  . . . quit.

talk to y'all later.  sorry for the depressing/pointless nature of this entry.