FRANCE OR BUSTHow can the Eiffel Tower possibly be brown?!
AmericanInParis05
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Monday, December 26, 2005

Let me share with you some important sayings that are dear to me...

Beauty
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Beauty
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If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.



Achievement
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Achievement
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You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.



         Destiny
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             Destiny
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                    You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.
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Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Wow! It has been a while!

Some of my favorite moments in Europe....You have heard about most of these...

~screaming in Notre Dame "wheres Quasi Modo" (hahahaha spelling?)   
 
~saying "it's ugly" when I first saw the Effiel tower
 
~listening to Mrs. Zumack laugh at the rooster making noise in their dinning room at midnight.
 
~eating dinner by the river next to Notre Dame and having some French guys ask me to go on a boat ride even though I didn't know they were asking me to go on a boat ride till later when Martha told me what they said (how's that for a "run-on" sentance)
 
~flying into Brussels
 
~eating french bread and jam every morning
 
~taking a picture of my shadow on a 2000 year old wall
 
~trying to figure out what time it was every day for two weeks! 22:22 !?!
 
~stealing from a small town in Germany and proudly hanging our loot in our cars in America. Melanie rhymes with felony....Jeanne said that like two weeks ago. That is like so not even funny anymore.  
 
~spending a half an hour or more trying to find the door out of the Louve
 
~rolling my eyes at the Mona Lisa and all the crazy people taking pictures of the painting and turning around and taking a picture of the painting on the wall opposite the Mona Lisa
 
~staying up till 4 am in Germany with Joanna gossiping about our friends who were back in America. "It's not gossiping if theres ocean between you"  (<--maybe we shouldn't even be JV leaders)
 
~escaping the house of the crazy bilingual(spelling?) missionaries(who were moving back to America and taking every piece of plastic that they owned with them to the startes) by taking a walk with Martha around thier small French town, looking at a French graveyard and expecting some person to pop out of a door singing the song from the beginning of Beauty and the Beast
 
~taking a picture of some old guy eating a sandwich by a fountain in Lille. He looked like Gepetto(totally made up that spelling)from Pinoccio
 
~learning to make fondu in a kitchen in Germany that was so awesome even Thom from Queer Eye would approve of the decorating
 
~laughing at oursevles for being stupid girls as Lydia put on make up, Joanna fixed her hair, and I brushed my teeth as we drove through mountains in Germany.
 
~going through extra security which Joanna did not have to go through because I had 5 bottles of dirt for Matt. Jeanne is the dirt gone?  
~laughing in the Zumacks dining room the last night Marthas friends from Vegas were there. I don't even remember what we laughed about. I also don't know why anyone would want to live in Vegas.
 
~escaping the French police and joining others on a quest for Chopin and Morrisons graves
 
~eating lunch by a castle in England even though my foot hurt so much that day I wanted to take down any person who said "ello" "Cheers" to me.
 
~laughing at the class of Jr High boys who talked like the kids in Willy Wonka (the first one) as the got Candy from a candy (like they did in the first movie) in whatever country we were in that day "The candy man can because he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good"
 
~never knowing what country we were in
 
Post-Europe
 
~telling my orthodontist "Um I lost my retainer on a plane at a airport in Brussels in Belgium when I spent two weeks in Europe" and seeing the response on the orthodontists assistants face
 
~responding "We took a hover boat over the English channel to Dover" when people ask me how we got to England
 
"that's soo special"


Thursday, September 01, 2005

Currently Watching
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Special Edition)
By Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Palin
see related

Once upon a time, there was a little girl making her way through the forest.

She was carrying goldfish crackers and tubes of Go-gurt to take to her sick grandmother, who was suffering from scurvy. (She was once a female sailor who did not get enough Vitamin C. It's hard being a female sailor.)

On the way through the forest, she was skipping along when she felt something whack her upside the head. "What's the dealio?" she cried. "I was just minding my business skipping in the forest."

*Whack!* This time she looked up. Then, square in the forehead... *whack* She looked down at her feet and noticed that the whack-a-thingies were really acorns. Squatting down to gather them up, she heard a chipmunky voice call out, "Hey, you leave my nuts alone!"

She stood up and faced a little squirrel which sported solemn black eyes. "Why can't you keep your nuts to yourself? I'm on a mission to minister to my scurvy-suffering grandmother, who lives in the middle of the forest. I can't help it that I must skip through your domain in order to deliver goldfish crackers and tubes of Go-gurt. She's on a strict diet you know. You can't grow them in your garden in the middle of a forest."

"You can't grow nuts in your garden either. Give them back."

At this, the little girl became quite peeved. "Go get your own. Finders keepers. Besides, we're in a forest, stupidhead."

The squirrel's countenance became menacing. "Curse you and your goldfish crackers. May they stick in your grandmother's dentures, and may the Go-gurt tubes squirt in your eyes when you open them. I fart in your general direction." And with this he let out a war-cry and fired a barrage of nuts. Many more squirrels and little birdies sprung magically into existence and assaulted the poor peeved girl.

On the way home from her grandmother's house, the little girl brought an umbrella and a B.B. gun.

The end.





Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Okay Melanie, this France blog is getting really lame. We need to put that battery-draining digital camera to use and post some more pictures! I also need to scrapbook my photos and souvenir crap so I can proudly display my toilet paper samples.


Wednesday, July 20, 2005

"Guys! Hey Guys! What should I wear! Guys!"

"AAAUUUHHH!!!!"

"If I was Peter Pan that would make me fly"

I miss Lydia and Martha and Europe.



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