... if you still use xanga, comment me. =)

I wanna start using it. xP

it's my birfday by the way.

Some things I'm learning from community service at my church..

Mexican people, despite the idea that they're an extremely important percentage of the United States work force... are REALLY lazy.

Most things go by faster if you avoid checking the time.

and last but not least.. A church is a factory of MESS. For some reason, no matter how many things you clean in a church, it will always produce twice as much mess.

so anyway.. I've realized that Life is always going to be a pain in the anus for me, and I'm never gonna get a vacation.

.. can you believe a 5-ft "patch chord" costs 10 bucks? what a rip! the guy who came up with that idea deserves a 5-ft purple&orange swirly dildo stuck far up his ass. and have to pay 10 bucks to do it. Better yet, pay ME 10 bucks. sounds like a fair trade. his 5-ft patch chord for my purple&orange--... =|

k, I'm done.

oh, P.S.- I read my last post, and I said something like.. I'm worried bout my hands, blah blah, something about a knife..? yah, as emo as that sounds, its not what you think. While I watch tv, I like to play with my butterfly knife.. it just feels right. When my hands aren't busy (... ha) my fingers twitch and stuff. and it feels weird.

can't wait to hit up Panda Buffet. I want mussels. and soda. and apple pie. and a cheaper patch chord. =\

and a new reason.

couple of questions on my mind.. but no one knows the answer. Kinda dumb.. it seems to me like I've got the answer to everyone's questions.. but mine. I can't really say that I'm like other ppl in that case.. because if everyone understood me as well as I understand them, then I wouldn't have a problem, would I?

I've been having the strongest desires to sleep.. I get a little-less-than-decent hours to sleep, but I want so much more than that.

It's funny how things are worse than I thot they'd be.

One of these days, a homeless man will die in the street, and someone will care.

They were such emotional moments in my life. You'd think I'd remember the day, time, how it happened, what I was wearing, what I had for lunch.. but sadly, I try to name them all, and I can't even do it. Did I actually forget?

Why do I keep trying to tell them? its so fucking aggravating.. I try a couple years ago, but THAT obviously backfired. I couldn't tell them. It was the wrong time.

They were so young... and my gosh, I felt so old inside.

It's a difficult concept to grasp anyway. I make small subtle attempts recently, and thanks to them, I am FIRMLY convinced that only arsenic will turn heads. How long will heads turn? who knows.

so anyway, skewl is over, and I find myself in a panic. I'm worried about my hands. I've been bugging my mom to find my knife she took away, and I've been obsessing over that beat machine. I think tapping the gummy buttons of the machine keeps me busy; too busy to beirrefutably responsible for sending the hammer forward.

migaaaaash, the irony. Something is troubling me right now.. and there's a symbol out there that sends a catalytic jolt to my head. Everytime I see it hanging out, or folded, or even being paraded across the faces of others, I remember. But can you remember an event that is still occurring? Ha, but the irony. everytime I see it.. I remember the times that are hard now, but also a time when life was a little easy.

I stopped typing juss now, to proofread, and I juss noticed a little bit of a poetic feel to what I was talking about. I didn't really mean for it to be that way.. and I knoe it doesn't make sense. but I guess it doesn't make sense because I deliberately spoke that way. Maybe because I don't actually want you to know... or maybe because... whether it rhymed, or followed british poetic parameters, or if I elaborated and simplified it, or had a hip hop beat in the back.. you just CAN'T KNOW. as much as you want to know, and as much as I WANT you to know.. (whoever you are).. you can't.

maybe you can. I dunno, sounds like I can't make up my mind. but I've been counting the heads. One head turned once. for quite a while, too. Must've been really interested. INTERESTED, or even.. sympathetic? but like everyone else, that head had a path paved before them, and nowhere along the path is there supposed to be a homeless drunk guy. I don't blame 'em.

maybe you can know. But a lot of heads pass by, and none of them ever turn.

Will yours?

drew posted this thing on myspace.. its got like a description of the type of ppl that are born in certain months.. and yah, here's my month, and my responses to them.

-----------------MARCH BABY --------------------
Attractive personality. (you think so? =D)

 sexy. (if this were true, the rest of my comments wouldnt be so negative)

Affectionate (yep)

Shy and reserved. (hard to believe, for those of you who hang out with me)

Secretive. (sad but true)

 Naturally honest, (this is either totally true, or totally false. depends on how you look at it)

generous and sympathetic. (in my case, this isn't always a good thing)

Loves peace and serenity. (to an extent)
Sensitive to others. (depends on how sensitive you are to me)

Great kisser. (wanna find out? hehe.. kuz you can.. you knoe... *wink*... ASK YOUR MOM. xP)

Easily angered. (completely wrong. I've got the patience of a saint)
Trustworthy. (just dont trust me to do something I can't do.)

 Appreciative and returns kindness. (and this isn't always good, either. it makes my standards for gratitude really high.)
Hardly shows emotions. (eh.)

Tends to bottle up feelings. (eh x10)

Observant and assesses others. (this is one of those crazy genius qualities. kuz when I assess others, and publicly speak about my assessment, no one believes me, kuz people are so fucking opinionated. but thank the Lord I'm not a "I told you so" kinda guy.)

oh, shit the list is over. o.O k yah i'm done. ha, juss to end on a positive note.. I forgot where I heard this.

The world is about to end in 10 minutes, and a woman and man are standing outside waiting for it to happen. the woman says "Oh dear, what are we going to do for our last 10 minutes ever?" The man replies, "Let's go inside and have the best sex of our lives!" to which the woman exclaims, "Great idea! but what'll we do for the other 7 minutes?"

lolerz. I win, go home.