Today=fucking shoot me.
The keyboards been fucked up. And lifes been shot to hell. who cares about my eating intake, im always going to be a fat lard ass. I went to the movies to see In Her Shoes but left to see poser and ended up going home and just leaving my friends there without them knowing i left. Im not sure i even care..Which is the funny thing really.
Then when i get in the car my mom stats bitching at me about how im always taking advantage of her and my dad. Which i have no doubt that i am. Ive always been the fucking horrible kid, the kid who does everything wrong and that they raised the wrong way. Obviously they did. Look atme, im scared to gain one lb. I dont eat enough. My mom is always bitching at me for it. Id rather cut up this goddamn skin than to live in it one more day and cry.
I just want to unzip myself, like im a costume. Then the real, the beautiful, the talented and loved, the most perfect daughter in the world..will step from the seems and the veins and reveal herself.
But that wont happen anytime soon. Im so depressed about everything i dont even want to get out of bed in the mornings. I dont want to go to work and school. I dont want to eat or even drink water for that matter. I ate spaghetti today because i didnt feel like hearing my mom bitch at me about my weight loss, about not eating regular like a fucking normal human being.
Im not normal.
I want to cry and kick and scream and break everything fucking thing i can get this fat fucking chubby fingers on. I want to kill people and get caught have sex with my boyfriend, i went to be so goddamn thin that even ants cant hear me fucking approaching in the silence of the day. I dont want to be noticed. I want to be alone with no eyes pondering me all the fucking time..God was suppose to fix it. Where is my God now?
OTHER NEWS
125lbs and gaining..actually. We're putting a stop to this gaining thing right now. Fuck the fat old Whitney. In comes the thin, new beautiful whitney that no one can keep their eyes off of. More compliments and a smaller size jeans. a 6 wont cut it fat ass. a 2 must move in quick and steady. Pass out. do what it takes you filthy bitch. I dont care what you have to do, but at work. when you see those doughnuts and greasy potatoe chips and chocolate. Reach for the coffee or the gum. Or the water better yet. And go on with life, like food is poison that will bring you down in every way possible.
>>>>Ill have thinspo tomorrow. number of comments=pictures of thinspo. Which wont be many trust me.
Love you all, stay strong.
})i({Whitneyyy | 
