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| Wow... My junior year in college, and I'm again encountering the same problem I had my junior year in high school.
There are stupid people everywhere.
If you're playing violin, and you need to play a C sharp on the G string, you're going to have to extend your third finger, or you'll end up playing C natural. Should you play C natural, know that's it WRONG and fix it. Some people either just don't care, or can't hear that they're playing a half step off from everyone else.
Just because the correct fingers are down doesn't mean you're playing the right note, especially with stringed instruments. Notes on a sheet of music represent SOUNDS, not FINGERINGS.
Today's epiphany: Not all band directors are made equal, therefore not all music students are made equal either. I understand that there are some exceptional people in the music education program, and I know that I myself am fallible. Still....grow up and care about what you're doing. It's your profession. It's why you're here, and this applies to SEVERAL PEOPLE.
Don't be an idiot.
And if you're voluntarily choosing to be one, get out of my way. I've had enough. | | |
| Ah, Mozart and his crazy Magic Flute.
Reminds me of the modern, Canadian version of the Magic Flute that was at the Lied Center last season. I wasn't on show crew, but I was scheduled to work the load out. We were all standing in the loading dock watching the end of the show on the backstage TV (we weren't allowed to actually go backstage because there was too much shit going on). 20-some odd people walk out on stage for the finale. They were holding bags. Little did we know, they were full of fake snow that had seen the floors of dozens of other concert halls on the tour already. We got to sweep all of that fucking fake snow up and shove it back into 22 bags.
I was sneezing fake snow for 2 days, and I'm convinced that a few pieces of it is still residing in my sinus cavity. | | |
| So have you ever had a day where things go wrong, but somehow you manage to smile through it? Almost like nothing can bring you down? Wish I'd have one of those.
My life is a sequence of fifths and I keep landing out of key.
Fuck. | | |
| I washed my cell phone.
Good thing I still have my old one.
Grrrrr. | | |
| I'm starting to feel sad again.
Why do I feel so disconnected from everything? It's not so much that I feel sad...it's that I feel empty. No, I don't miss Langston. I really like being single. I really like having a fun roommate, and that I finally have a cat that cuddles with me at night and will meow until I pick him up.
But there's something about school that just weighs down on me...makes me want to leave, walk out of the building, and come home to lie in bed alone.
I get blank stares from people. People that I used to talk to a lot. I'll say hello to someone, and they'll respond, but it's fake. They don't mean it. It's minding your manners.
I'd say I like most of my teachers, because it's mostly true, but when they look at me, I don't feel like they se me; I feel like they see through me. They see nothing. I don't stand out, no matter how hard I try. When I've built my life around identifying myself with music and the career I'm pursuing, there's just something about nothing being noticed that makes it all seem a little less worthwhile.
I don't feel like I have any real friends now. I can't really say that, because I know they exist--but we're all too busy and never hang out. I'm doing well in school, my teachers (mostly) are happy with me, I've got two jobs now...I'm being completely successful, but I still feel like giving up.
That won't happen. I'm too neurotic for that.
Nonetheless....there's a certain kind of loneliness that's been residing within me. The though of wanting to call someone, wanting to hang out with someone, anyone...but yet wanting to remain here, at home, with my cat on the couch in front of the TV.
Alone.
I don't know myself. | | |
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