The Mystery Girl Saga

"It is told in the Lay of Leithian that Beren came stumbling into Doriath grey and bowed as with many years of woe, so great had been the torment of the road. But wandering in the summer in the woods of Neldoreth he came upon Lúthien, daughter of Thingol and Melian, at a time of evening under moonrise, as she danced upon the unfading grass in the glades beside Esgalduin. Then all memory of his pain departed from him, and he fell into an enchantment; for Lúthien was the most beautiful of all the Children of Iluvatar. Blue was her raiment as the unclouded heaven, but her eyes were grey as the starlit evening; her mantle was sewn with golden flowers, but her hair was dark as the shadows of twilight. As the light upon the leaves of trees, as the voice of clear waters, as the stars above the mists of the world, such was her glory and her loveliness; and in her face was a shining light."

                                                                                           The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien

It all began in late August of 2004. I was moving into Dancer Hall at the University of Northern Iowa. My girlfriend of the previous entry was with me, as were her parents, to help me move into my dorm room.

Upon entering the dormitory, I went to the sign-in desk and then to the RA handling the upper floors of the building. This was the first meeting of Mystery Girl and myself, and at the time she was just another person (just for fun, I will be referring to Mystery Girl as thus for the rest of the saga). You see, my heart was already set upon my girlfriend, so other women really didn't draw my attention. Truly! I was blessed at least in that regard. That would soon change, however.

In mid-September my heart was already beginning to suspect, though I was not concious of it at the time, that my relationship was starting to die. I thought things between us were fine; I had no idea how close to ending things my girlfriend was. So I went along, doing the school thing, sending emails, making phone calls and writing poems for my girlfriend at least once a week.

I began also to become friends with Mystery Girl, who was the RA two floors down. She was friends with my RA and therefore was often walking by my door. The thing that struck me first about her was her sweet demeanor and ever-present smile. There was a glow of peace about her, and I could tell very quickly that she would make a good friend. So we became acquainted, and after first asking my girlfriend's permission (yes, I was a good boyfriend!) I asked Mystery Girl if I could write her a poem, for she was quite inspiring for me. She was flattered; such a thing had never been offered her before. So I composed what I like to refer to as a masterpiece. Then again, my circle of critics at the time was very small, namely Mystery Girl and myself.

"Classical Ode to the Lady of 10^th Floor"

Sing, oh sing Helios and

Warm thy father’s lands

And let all the world in

Thy light rejoice, painted

By thy sister Aphrodite’s

Hand.

Lo, what precious drop hath

Fallen from her brush?

Peer closer still and gaze

Upon true resplendence,

Dancing o’er the green grass

And singing with a voice

Envied by man and muse.

Closer, closer peer thee and

Thy eternal eye shall see a

Face not beheld since Helen of Troy

Graced the golden walls of that fated city.

Abashed shall thee be when in

Her smile thou dost see

Thy own face.

Oh Helios, fear not for thy

Own vanity; forever shall thy

Brilliance fill the skies.

And when thy fiery chariot o’er

Horizon doth depart,

‘tis then thy throne usurpéd be by

The beauty of her eyes.

She was thrilled and immediately wondered if I had more poetry she could read. I did, so I began to provide old poems I had written. I didn't write many more for her, but on the rare occasion that I did I first wrote one for my girlfriend for fear of investing my heart incorrectly (not that it was currently invested properly).

One embarassing moment: Homecoming Week at UNI was approaching and signs everywhere were advertising something called "Campanilling." All I knew is that it was at midnight and sounded fun, so I invited Mystery Girl to come. She was busy with RA things that night and, after blushing, politely declined.

I found out later that Campanilling is a Homecoming tradition where sweethearts gather under the clocktower and kiss at midnight. Good thing she declined; my girlfriend would have eaten my heart (slowly).

Anyways, as said previously my girlfriend eventually broke up with me, but not until wondering at least once if there was something going on between Mystery Girl and myself. There wasn't, that I was aware of, but the seeds of love between us were planted very deep, so deep that I did not know that they were there, waiting, until the cold winter of lust and secrets had passed in mid-November when my girlfriend broke up with me...

"Tuesday, November 23, 2004

…in due time there may be another lady whom I will pursue in hopes of finding romance yet again. I don't dare rush things for fear of killing any delicate, budding feelings she may already have for me. Patience is necessary. For now I'll view this promised land from afar, waiting for the right time to dare wander another step. Wish this pilgrim luck."

This is the end of the Xanga entry of the same date, mere days after the breakup. Already I could sense those seeds of love quickening in the slowly thawing soils of my heart, and soon enough spring would complete the thaw. Love would germinate, sprout and begin stretching toward the sun...

"Monday, November 29, 2004

Problem: Falling in love with new girl.

Desired Solution: Dating said new girl.

Factors to Consider: I haven't told her how I feel. . . that's the biggest one.

The "X" Factor: According to a source close to said girl, she is "sort of seeing someone." Apparently it isn't official, but it is in the very beginnings of possibly being a relationship.

Dilemma: Do I tell said girl how I feel, or would that be inappropriate to possibly disrupt a possible relationship that could possibly happen?

Result of Debate Over This Dilemma: *pulls hair out of head and bangs said head on wall, screaming profane nonsense and lamenting his ill luck*

Drat.

 ***

So I speak with another friend of this mystery girl, and apparently this guy that wanted to date her screwed up. TWICE. He has not pursued her at all, so she gave up on him. This friend I spoke to tells me to go for it; I have a good chance at winning her over. And even if she doesn't want to date right now, there is still promise in the future! And I will wait as long as it takes. This woman is amazing.

All I can hear is Handel's "Hallelujah" Chorus in my head. Woo-hoo!

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Ah, love.

Spent some time with her. Lovely time. Want to spend more. Hard to concentrate on anything right now. Must type paper. Can't get her outta my head. Can't find a reason to do so. Guess I'll shrug my shoulders and keep on going.

***

Man what a bipolar day. Started out in the dumps and already I'm in the suburbs!

Though I am kind of disappointed she didn't feel the same way, I'm really glad that she was honest. And who knows what time will bring. I am very patient, especially with things worth waiting for and this young lady, my friends, is worth the wait.

What a burden to be rid of! No more secrets."

My love for her began to blossom, and summer longed to approach but I held it back with all my patience for fear of rushing Mystery Girl, of growing too quickly only to have the stem of it all snap under the weight of haste. By the end of November, as referred to above, I confessed to her my growing feelings. I remember saying distinctly that being able to say to her, "I love you," would be my life's highest honor. Oh I was hopeless!! And she was stunned by this revelation, this opening of my heart, and confessed in turn that she only considered me a friend. But looking back upon the memory of that night I remember seeing the distant stars of delight and could almost hear the pounding of her heart as I poured my own out to her, as though the words carried on my breath bore with them bread and water for a love-starved prisoner. So I had hope and love for her, and that was enough for a while.