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Angela821
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Name: Angela
Country: Canada
Interests: Foreign literature; Food and Culture; Travelling; Get-togethers
Expertise: Writing exceedingly long passages, ranting endlessly on the phone...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/3/2004
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| It feels funny when you've spent so much time planning for something and the moment you've been waiting for is finally here…
I had
this conversation with my roommate this morning and basically we were
talking about her wedding. How does it feel when you've been planning
for this big day for more than a year, when this huge thing has been
occupying 85% of your mental space every day, and now the day is almost
here?
Even
outside the context of a wedding, this question has personal relevance
to me in many ways. As many of you know, I like to plan ahead, far far
ahead, and sometimes it's nice to have pleasant surprises while other
times it's more comforting to see things unfold as hoped. Right now, I
am at that stage where things have moved in the anticipated direction,
but somehow this brings me both sadness and gladness at the same time…
One
by one, the items on my to-do list get checked off. One by one, the
wishes I wrote down under "things I want to do if I (achieve sth sth)"
have become reachable. One by one, questions have been answered and
things proceed forward…
I am very thankful for
how things are turning out; I really cannot ask for a more blessed
life. I also look forward to starting a new life; it is time for some
change and further progress. But as I take my time to say goodbye to
this place, I feel sad because it seems that I am selfishly moving on
while I leave everything behind. Although I have given much throughout
the past 5 to 6 years (particularly in the past few months), it feels
like I have exhausted all there is to take from this place and now I'm
taking off. Indeed, I have harvested a lot--I came to know God and have
seen him work through me and in me, made lots of good friends, got my
permanent G driver's license, went through therapy and overcame my
phobia, and I even received the CGS to go to UBC...But guess what,
maybe I am not leaving anything behind; I shall carry all these
beautiful memories in my heart as I move into the future.
I had the privilege
to find my passion, establish my identity, and explore the world freely
over the past few years, and now I should leave before I get too
comfortable. It feels like the future is welcoming me with open arms
and I am so ready to leap forward. It doesn't mean that I think
everything will be fine and dandy, in fact I know I will be given more
responsibilities, challenges, and even setbacks. But that's ok because
I know that in all the highs and lows, God is there watching over me,
and he will never let me be challenged beyond what I can handle. He is
constantly moulding me through blessings and trials, using my successes
and failures to bless others, and He will make things happen according
to His plan. I just want my plans to be in harmony with His, so that I
may experience the peace and joy of being His humble follower.
Let me be your channel
of blessing, don't ever let me receive and not give. Help me give more,
bless me so I might be a blessing. Amen.
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| Thank you for all your love!!!As I continue to marvel at my phobia-free life, I must say that I am flattered by all my friends’ kudos, especially all the way from HK =) Yes, I have done it guys, and it means a lot to me to see how excited you guys are about this too! :D Call me crazy but I miss one of my friend’s cat so much that I’ve decided to have a sleepover at her place tonight, hahaha! Unbelievable eh, I know!! Let me end this short entry by thanking all those who sent me their felicitations— Cha-Siu, Heidi, Ah Sze, Ah Yin, Shela Nikita; Charlene, Kenix, Harry, Vincent, Simon, Patrick; Shirley, Eri; Ah Wai, Jing Jing; Cee Wai, Mimi; Carol, Victor, Caris; Joanne, Katrina, Ryan, Dickson, Giana; Cathleen; and my entire family. Of course, special thanks go to Flora who supported me all the way throughout this process, and to Steven who is never too far to show me his unconditional love  . | | |
| My breakthrough (4th visit, 3rd self-administered exposure)
This is "gor gor" (big brother), I'm actually more afraid of him because he is much more agile and active. And he's HUGE compared to "mui mui" (little sister).
Alright...I'll take a step closer...can you tell that I'm closer to him in this picture?
Love and fear...that distance between us is still hard to cross. That gap is equivalent to a mile for me. I actually really want to be close to her, and yet I'm still scared to approach. So what do I do? I just stand in her vicinity and hope that she'll brush past my legs as she wanders around...hahaha...
Btw, I patted Mui mui's back when Flora was holding her. Yes, that is another step closer, but I wouldn't say it's that impressive because Mui mui wasn't allowed to move, so I don't think it counts. However, when I have my last therapy session this Sat, I think I'll be able to do better than that. What will I be able to do? I don't know yet, but I know I will surprise myself just like I did last time.
What does it take? Determination, persistence, courage, and God's healing.
Stay tuned!
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| I haven’t thought much about Valentine’s for quite a while now, which is why when Steven brought it up the other day, I was quite surprised. I can honestly say that with his hectic schedule, it didn’t even cross my mind that I would want him to do anything special for me on Valentine’s. What would really make me happy and pleased though would be for him to be well, for things to go smooth, for him to stay happy and healthy. So I would like to write a little something here for my sweetheart, and I hope he’ll be able to feel the power and beauty of these heart-felt words… *** What is love? Is it what triggers a silly giggle when a sweet thought catches me off guard? Is it what makes “sweetheart” your befitting name because you sweeten my heart? Is it what gives me the desire and courage to work hard when I think of your face? Is it what makes me feel safe and ok even when things go astray? Perhaps love makes gifts and Valentine’s a little less meaningful, because being able to hold your hand in mine is already so wonderful. Love makes me wanna wrap your books and get up in the morning, to make you a warm hearty breakfast before you have to get going. People ask me: do you not want flowers, presents, or a ring? And I would say: Those things are nice, but it’s not what makes my heart sing. For love makes “yours” and “ours” much more important than “mine”, and the key to your happiness and well-being is what I would like to find. So send me your love in a kiss not a jewel, cos’ all I want for Valentine’s is a lifetime with you. | | |
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