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Friday, March 14, 2008

  • Won't be using Xanga

    It has come to my attention that my xanga account has been misused at times be some people, and for that reason, I will refrain from using the account from now on. I will leave my past entries, but other than that, there will be no new ones anytime soon.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

  • In the Rain

    It was a bright summer’s day, during the noon time.  I was sitting down at a café, and a slight breeze was blowing across the street. I was slowly looking over some old papers, that I was getting ready to show in a meeting. I just reviewed the last piece of paper when I went to sip my drink. The stack of papers flew off the table with the wind. In a panic I rushed to retrieve them. I was able to get all of them except for one of them. It had seemed to catch the wind just right. I jumped up to grab it, and as I did the wind blew it even farther up. I started a wild chase after the paper, and soon enough I was going down an abandoned alley way. As I ran the paper seemed to blow farther and farther away, and I knew I had to catch it.

                As I ran I couldn’t help but worry about my career. This meeting was no normal meeting. It was a make or break for my career. If I didn’t do well I would probably be demoted, and never have this chance again. I had worked all night to get this right, and all that was standing in my way was one very important paper. I had to do well. Failure wasn’t an option.

                Luck was on my side. The paper flew into a dead end, and lay there. I ran quickly and picked it up, just in case it might escape again. I looked at it, and made sure that it was not smudged or to badly wrinkled. I then turned it over and read the text on it. It seemed all very intact. Just as I was about to put it back, I saw on it a typo that I missed. I sighed, and knew that I would have to run quickly and print out another edited copy of the page.

                I turned to head to the street, but something caught my attention. It was a man, about my same age, though it would have hard to tell if not for his eyes. He was obviously a bum, something I see every day. Yet, something was familiar about him. I looked at him again. He was my best friend from childhood.

                I stood there in shock for a while. I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t kept in contact with him for many years. It was hard for me to imagine he could grow this low. He had always been the smarter of us. He was also more popular, and more likely to do greater things in life, not to mention his amazing moral code. I simply could not fathom him, a bum, on the street in ragged in clothing.

    I finally had to speak to him. “Josh is that you?”

                He looked up at me with a smile, and nodded his head, without saying a word. His hair seemed so ragged, and his teeth rotten to the core, but his eyes were still the same, if not more vibrant.

                “Josh, what happened?” I asked “How did you end up like this?”

                He looked at me, and his eyes pierced my soul. I couldn’t move, as if there look clamped chains on my entire body. I just stood waiting for a response.

                “I am on a mission”, he said. His voice was as clear and piercing as his eyes. “And this is the way I accomplish it.”

                I looked at him thoroughly confused. I couldn’t imagine what he was saying. Was he an undercover cop, or some kind of actor? I couldn’t imagine Josh in any of those roles. So I had to ask him, “What do you mean mission?”

                “Well, here is a question for you? What is your mission?” he said with a grin.

                “What do you mean?” I asked, rather caught off guard.

                “I have a mission, but do you have one?” he asked with the same smile, with his piercing eyes staring straight at me.

                “Josh this is crazy, what are you doing here,” I asked. I had wondered if Josh had gone out of his head.

                “I am on a mission,” he repeated.

                “What is your mission?” I asked with more force, showing visible annoyance.

                “I am helping a friend right now, I just hope he can take my advice,” he said.

                “Well who is the friend,” I asked with general curiosity.

                “If you stay here long enough you will meet him,” he said. He then looked up to the sky, which was bright blue, and commented on the weather. “It’s going to start raining soon. It is quite a funny phenomenon. Every time it rains, the rain just evaporates and turns into a cloud, and then it rains again. It seems like an endless cycle.”

                “Well if it’s going to rain come with me,” I said, “and you can stay at my place until the rain stops.”

                “The sun is far smarter than the rain. It always shines, and takes its time, yet knows when to rest every night,” said Josh. “I suppose the rain just has to learn its lesson slowly.”

                I looked at my watch, and realized I was going to be late for my meeting. I looked at Josh, and felt as if I couldn’t leave him. I scribbled down my address on a blank sheet of paper from my brief case, and gave it to him. “Josh I have to leave now, but here is my address. Come and stay with me if you feel you need somewhere warm to sleep.”

                I rushed off to get to my meeting. The meeting went well, and I was told I would soon be offered a position as a vice president with the company. I walked back to my desk, and just as I sat down, the phone rang.

                “Hello!” I said into the telephone receiver.

                “Hello, this is Mary Caswell, calling on behalf of Josh Ruben. It seems that he passed away a few days ago, and they are holding the funeral for him very soon,” said the voice on the other end of the phone.

                I was shocked! “That is impossible, I was just talking to Josh a few minutes ago,” I said anxiously.

                “You must be mistaken sir, there is no doubt that he is dead. It seems that his car went off the road in a rain storm,” she said with an almost unchanged tone.

                I hung up the receiver, and stared out my window. The clouds were floating bye. “When will the rain learn,” I murmured.

                The phone rang again, and this time the CEO of the company called to offer to me formally the vice president position.  I looked out the window one more time, and spoke very softly into the phone, “I am afraid I must decline.” The CEO’s voice was showed surprise and he asked me why. “I think I need to spend some more time in the sun,” I answered then hung up the phone. I looked at my desk, and then to a picture of Josh with my other schoolmates and spoke “I think your friend got the message.”

Saturday, February 02, 2008

  • The Ultimate Prison

    It was the 2nd of February, and I was walking home from my rather usual job. I had decided to take the alley, but it was very dark. As I walked I looked up at the tall building on either side of me, and for a moment I panicked.

    I panicked because I felt as if I was trapped, and not just between the building but in the world. The thought hit me that I would never be able to leave this planet, and it scared me. I was confined to a giant cage with no hope of escape, and on the rare chance I did there was not hope for survival. How could I escape the immoral, and somewhat disturbing hands of human kind of which I was a part. I would be affected by these other people and I would have no control, because as a human kind we were all trapped in a giant cage with no hope for escape.

    As i walked a little farther I starred up at the stars. Once again I felt trapped, but this time realizing that my prison was not only earth, but the very solar system, galaxy, and universe were trapping me. I suddenly felt choked and scared. I fell to my knees as if I couldn't breathe. I was trapped, and I didn't know the escape. There was no way out. Yes it was a large prison but a prison just the same.

    On my knees I now stared at my body, and suddenly I realized the most humiliating prison of all. It was bad enough that the universe was my cage, but now I had a so much smaller prison. My very body was my prison. I was trapped, with no escape. The only escape would lead to my death. I had to come to the conlcusion that I was in fact a caged animal. All human kind was, and the ironic part was that we carried our cages with us. These hands suddenly made me panick. They were trapping me.

    I screamed yet no sound came out. I was quiet, but I was trying to scream. As I yelled I could not make a sound. I was suffocating. My body and the Universe were fighting against me to keep my secret from the world. I would never be able to tell others of our bondage. In this despair, I got up. I walked away from the ally. I was shaken, as my prison bar legs led me away to my house.

    As I walked I saw the light in the street, and on the other side of the street, a woman with her child. The cold was affecting the babe, and it started to cry. The mother, overcome with maternal care, picked up the child, and held it close. At the moment the mothers arms embraced the child, I realized that the babe was not imprisoned. In fact it was the very comfort of the mothers arms that had freed the child. Why did I then feel trapped, if the babe was so happy confined so tightly.

    I looked again at my hands, and for a moment saw a light in my mind. I was not caged, but free. The suffocating feeling vanished. I was able to look at my legs, and realize it was by them I could walk. In a way I was confined, but in being confined I was happy, just like the babe. I was ablt to experience life because of this confinement. I looked up at the sky, and now getting my voice back, spoke in an unshakable tone, that seemed to pass through time and space. "If I must be confined, then in my prison let me be. For I am free within myself, and now without I can be free as well."

    By Alexander Frost

Sunday, January 27, 2008

  • Its been a while

    So my life has pretty much been so so. I got school done at a reasonable time during the week for once, mainly because I was going to a three day retreat. The retreat was good, and I think I got a lot from it, though I am finding that I am extremely tired out. So I really don't feel like writing a lot, but whatever. How is the world doing??? HHhhmmm I have an idea. I have a one question quiz!!!! That sounds like fun.

    What is my penn(is that with one or two n's? I am horrible at spelling) name?

Monday, January 14, 2008

  • The Black Hole

      One night in a dream I landed into a black hole. I think it was a dream, yet it was so real. As I walked forward in the hole all I saw was blackness. It was so black that my skin lost its color and seemed to fade into the the black as if I had joined it like a phantom lost in the abyss of emptiness. It felt like I stayed in this blackness for several days, though time was almost none existent while I was there. I walked for a long time, though I do not know how long. As I walked I finally came to what seemed as a spotlight in the middle of this giant hole of blackness, and odd enough I did not see it till I was upon it, and part of the way in it. As I walked into it I felt a beam of light hit my shoulders, and suddenly all the phantom touch on my skin dissapeared. As I squinted my eyes I could scarcely see in the middle of the light a figure. I approached him, and he seemed small in comparison to myself. As I came near to him he stood up and looked at me.

    "Hello," he said.

    "Hello, may I ask where I am?" I spoke in reply.

    "Certainly, you are standing five feet from me?" he said.

    A little frustrated I rephrased the question, "No, I mean, where is this place?"

    "This place is where you are," he said.

    I realized that this conversation was reaching no where so I took a different approach and asked him his name. "may I ask who you are?"

    "No, you may not, for you already know me," he said with an expressionless face.

    By this time I had become somewhat annoyed, but still I did realize his face looked familiar in some way.

    "You look familiar, but I do not recognize you, can you tell who you are?"

    "I would never tell you who I am, especially when you know me as well as you know yourself," he said.

    "I don't know you that well obviously if I can't even remember who you are,  you must have underestimated our relationship," I said with a little annoyance.

    "If you insist I will tell you my name. I am but who I am, and nothing less nor nothing more," he said.

    "So your trying to tell me that I am where I am, and you are who you are," I said with a snare, "and this is supposed to be useful to me in what way?"

    "Usefullness is a relative standard, something can be said, but not intended to be useful. The world would be a horribly boring place otherwise," he said.

    It has occured to me that he we were going nowhere. I was not looking for entertainment but for the truth of where I was, and who he was. In a desperate attempt for some answer I asked, "Why is there so much darkness in this hole?"

    "It is because you have made it so," he said.

    "How have I made it so?" I asked inquiringly.

    "Where there is not light there is only darkness, and obviously you radiate no light, so therefore the darkness for which you speak is your own fault," he said matter of factly.

    I was taken back by this comment, and in anger I stepped nearer to him. With every step i took I felt as if I knew him more and more. As I got a couple of inches away I felt as if he was once my very good friend. The feeling was simply horrible, to know him, but not his name.

    "You have remembered me now, correct?" he asked.

    "I think I do, yet I still do not know your name," I said.

    "Well the reason for that is simple," he said, "I do not have any name. I have no need to be recognized."

    It hit me for the first time that this person was very lonely. His very name seemed lost. I asked the very blatant question,"Do you have any friends?"

    "Yes, and that would be you," he said.

    I suddenly felt the urge to embrace him, and came toward him.

    "If you touch me, then you will have to realize who you are," he said.

    I ignored this comment and came toward him and embraced him, but as I did I realized who this young person was. I stood back. "I understand now," I said.

    "Then maybe you can live in greater light then before," he said. He then dissapeared, but not completely. It was as if he simply changed form.

    I woke up! On getting out of bed I saw the face that I had seen while stuck in the hole. I looked at it for a while, and it smiled at me. I told him I finally understood all. "Thank you my friend." I then turned my head from the the wall which held the mirror in front of me.

     

    (note: please ignore spelling errors)

Angeldog9988

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    • Name: Dustin
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About Me

  • Well what can I say. I am a fun loving guy, wait maybe not. Hmm Well I guess I am loving. =) Anyway, I love music although I rarely have the patients to be good a playing it. Oh and I am a romantic at heart, but be warned that you may not want to see me like that because it is usually followed by my emo side, and depending on who is reading this it may disturb you. =)

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