So I was reading Crystal Renaud's (who is part of the Communication staff at Westside Family Church in Kansas City) blog this evening, which is full of pretty sweet stuff. However, her entry about Earth Day got me a little vamped up (as I do when anyone makes fun of the green movement, calls me a tree-hugger, or brags about being green without even knowing what the hell they're talking about). Here's a blurb:

"with this being “green week” all over the place… on major tv networks, yahoo!, google… everywhere… i can’t help but get a little more than just annoyed by it. (i retract the annoyed comment, but have yet to find a better word for it.)

now, don’t get me wrong… i, myself, prefer organic foods, carpool with my mom and participated in earth hour, but with all the millions spent on green homes, hybrid cars and who knows whatever else… is any of this really doing anything to impact the world?

in my opinion… NO.

why? the cynic in me would say it is because i think global warming is a total crock. but the truer answer and point of this entry, is that i care more about the diseased, the orphaned, the homeless and the gospel – than i do about being green."

You can read the whole entry here.

So here is my reply to the whole thread. I feel like I say this sort of thing a lot to a lot of random people when the whole "green" topic is brought up. So it only made sense for me to put this here as a kind of official statement about how I feel about the goofy situation.

"I have to echo 2012. The efforts taken to make the world a cleaner and better place to live affect and are affected by efforts made to offer the diseased and mistreated a higher standard of living. We cannot say that these things are unrelated. We all live in God's creation; we are all part of God's creation. Both are acts taken to further the "working out of our salvation".

And let me be the first to say that the current "green" movement in U.S. definitely misses the mark. The fact of the matter is that endeavoring to be more green or more sustainable is not about buying a new Prius, reducing your emissions or supporting Al Gore. It is not about recycling or Earth Day or global warming. When we embrace sustainability, we embrace the choice to live a simple, selfless, healthy life and to be aware of the way that our choices and actions effect the people and the world around us. Being "green" is way more about awareness, about looking outside of yourself and not being a consumerist turd-face just because your culture taught you that way.

This attitude shift is important because it changes not only how we interact with and value the earth, but how we interact with and value other people. When we realize that dumping nasty chemicals into the water and burying tons of trash in the earth helps spawn the diseases that we are trying so hard to fight off, we can choose not to use the earth that other people touch and breathe in as a garbage can. When we realize that what we put into our bodies affects our emotions and our well being, we can begin to treat our bodies with respect by nurturing them, and, in turn, teaching others how to respect their bodies and other people's bodies. When we realize our irresponsibility with our resources, we can develop accountability, diligence, and self-control, which will bleed into the way we handle our money and a treat our families and allow us to show others to be responsible with what they've been given.

So I can understand being frustrated/annoyed/fed up with the media pushing green down your throat. As a matter of fact, please be fed up with consumerism and media and big corporations whose use green to sell themselves to well-intentioned people. Because only then will all of this really matter and sink in and begin to reach into the way we treat people and what we value. When we start taking sides and saying this matters more than that and it's us vs. them...then we have missed the point.

Because God cares about all of it because it's all the same thing. It's all of a broken creation waiting to be restored to it's glory by it's amazing Creator."

Yikes, it's been a while and I'm kind of sorry but at the same time I'm not because this writing thing has all it's purpose and being in my whimsy.

On another note, I did something extremely stupid and irresponsible the other day that really hurt one of my coworkers. This is something that I think I do pretty consistently (though never on this grand of a scale) which drives me crazy because I know the message people get from it is that I don't care about them or what's going on and this is very rarely the case; as a matter of fact, it is the complete opposite. I have a tendency to care so much about and get so wrapped up in the people I am presently with and the moment I am currently in that everything else that happened before or should happen later recedes into the fuzzy background of my subconscious and is rarely brought back into the front of my mind when it should be. I can try to soften this unfortunate reality with fluffy adages like, "It's the thought that counts," but I know that when people say that, they means, "It's what they think you're thinking that counts."And this is a truth of life and people and relationships that I am willing to admit simply and without resentment. Our intentions will count for little if they remain intentions and do not become an actual living reality for others.

I say all this to emphasize that point that I have a very acute sense of guilt, especially, if not singularly, when I know I've wounded someone (what else is there to feel guilt about?), which may explain why I am awake at some ridiculous hour of the night writing an apology letter to this coworker of mine. When I wrapped up this letter and signed my name just a moment ago, I couldn't help but sadly reflect on past incidents where other people may have been similarly hurt by my apparent lack of respect and value for them. I couldn't help but think that perhaps this letter was one of hundreds that should be written. And then I thought, and this startled me, Will I be doing for the rest of my life? Will I forever be apologizing and feeling such remorse for this behavior of mine?

My initial reaction was, Damn, I hope not. And while this may sound rather irreverent and abrupt for this heart-probing confession, let me unpack that statement a little bit. I find it a little too ironic and convenient that this particular character flaw of mine should bother me so much right now as it stands against the backdrop of our recent discussions about character growth at Ada and my reading through Eat, Pray, Love, the memoir of a woman who travels the world seeking experiences in spiritual discipline and healing. This conviction, framed by these circumstances, has set the inclination in my heart for metamorphosis, the belief that I should transform, that I was meant to transform, that I can transform because people have gone before me and done it.

This is not a Damn, I hope I never have to apologize again, or a Damn, I hope I don't have the endure anymore uncomfortable, stretching situations like this.

This is a Damn, I hope that, when I look back on this episode months or years from now, I'll be able to say that I am different, that I am changed, or at least that I am changing and on my way to becoming different. I hope that I will be able to say that I have made my well-meaning intentions into a genuine truth that protects, affirms and values the people I interact with.