Shit in the Cake

If you've ever moved in chrischun circles, you've heard the one about the shit in the cake, right?  If not, well, the story goes that a 'christchun' has to keep themselves free from the taint of the world.  By watching only 'G' and 'PG' rated movies, reading only books by Beth Moore and Jeanette Oake, by listening only to christian radio stations (especially tuning in for Dobson - can't miss him), and looking down their nose and separating from anyone possibly unsaved, they are set apart as 'clean'.  Allowing any of the world to taint 'us' would be like adding shit to the chocolate cake - it ruins the whole dessert.

Tonight for our Shabbat reading, it was the same thing, only child-o-cized.  In the story, the young boy came home from school and asked his mother to see "Blazing Guns", a historical movie that was discussed in his history class.  The kids all planned to see it, and the teacher recommended it, even though it had some violence and questionable language.

Of course 'Mom' asks the boy to talk with her about it as she's baking the pre-requisite chocolate cake.  ((Like we don't know where THIS is going.))  But because it's for children, we can't even use the whole shit illustration (not that they do, they call it 'poop', because shit is a four-letter word.  Not that poop isn't... but I digress.)  Instead, good ol' Mom cracks open a rotten egg and, just as she's going to pour the stanky batter in the trash, she realizes this is the perfect analogy for Junior, and explains that - like one rotten egg makes the whole cake bad, so a few questionable things in a movie can ruin the whole movie. 

End of story, don't you feel holier just hearing the summary?

I'm sorry, but I  T.O.T.A.L.L.Y.  disagree.  Take Jonah.  He said, "No way, Lord, I'm not going to Ninevah.  It's rotten eggs, man!  They're bad news!"  Did Yahweh look down from Heaven and say, "Well done My good and faithful servant, you have passed the test and remained set apart and pure."  Hell, No!  It was Yahweh who wanted  Jonah to go to the wicked city filled with 'R' rated movies, language, cults, and secular music in the first place - and when Jonah tried to 'stay pure' - Yah chucked him in the stanky belly of a fish, hello.  And while we're at it, did Yeshua say, "Stay ye here and shun all nations, wrapping yourself in warm fuzzies and passing judgment on others"?  Did He go to the well, see the prostitute and walk away, whispering to His disciples that she was a fallen Jezebel who needed to be avoided?  I'm sorry, but... What IS THIS 'christchun' attitude?!?!?!?!

I'm sorry, I... I just DO NOT agree.  I hate, HATE, HATE hypocritical, snub-nosed, ignorant, pious-ass chrischuns!  It's WRONG.  It alienates, it hinders, and it SHREDS a testimony to get that whole 'I can't associate with you because I'm holy and you're not, and you'd defile the chocolate cake that I am by my adding you to my 'ingredients'.  WHAT. EVER!  That sucks!  It's NOT kewl.

I got in a fight with my sister while we were camping.  A literal, pissed-off, go-for-the-jugular fight.  I was telling my mom about the Suzanne Brockmann books I read, and my holier-than-thou, ex-Hudsonville (holy capital of Earth) resident sister suggested that my choice of reading material was 'smut' because there are sex scenes, language and violence in it, and SHE prefers CHRISCHUN romance.  I retorted that chrischun romance was unrealistic and life isn't about bad guys who say 'oh, darn, I did a naughty thing'.  She got PISSED at me and accused me of 'tainting' myself with the world, and I... nevermind.  I don't tolerate a lot of that kind of thing.  And I can't stand people who act like the world is EVIL and to be avoided.  If it is, kill yourself now, because hello YOUR IN IT.  And OMIGOSH, it has sex, violence, language, and MORE in it - and here you are!  No, we're here for a purpose, and it's not to be smug and superior and judgmental.  Get OFF your high horse.

I was catching up on comments two nights ago and read at Dorelynn's place about how her friend was trying to decide if she should censor the reading, TV, movies, and music exposure of her children.  Sure... you could limit her, but then how in the WORLD is she going to be able to cope with the reality of the world as an adult when she's been dipped in a sugary artifice for her entire childhood?  Been there, done that, myself.  I'm STILL trying to un-mess the freakin' wack-job that is my 'spiritual upbringing'.  Granted I'm WAY further ahead in it than my hopelessly hypocritical sister...

She got into it with my mom yesterday at town day, too.   OH. My. Gawsh, if I said the screaming trio was hideous before, it was because I hadn't encounted a yesterday yet.  Wha.  Just...WHA.  They were miniature harpies.  My mother was actually spanking them, they had gotten so bad.  Of course it was when Jill went to the bathrooms and mom had the girls (howling at the top of three lungs) in the camper.  When Jill got back, she chided my mom for resorting to that.  ((!?!??!?!?  I'd've beaten their butts MONTHS ago!!  ?!?!?!??!!?))  Mom said, "Well, they were being idiots!"  Jill was outraged.  "You don't call a CHILD an IDIOT!"  ((Apparently there are five letter words that are taboo, too.))

I couldn't resist.  I said, "Well, technically, if they're being idiots, you call 'em as you see 'em."  She didn't appreciate me.  I don't appreciate her children.  I don't think my mother appreciates the migraines.  At least I can go home at the end of the fortnight, if'n y'know what I mean.  ((My sister also told me that it was a 'bad day'.  You don't reprimand children when they're obviously having a bad day.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that - since February - I haven't seen them NOT having a bad day.  And I mean a hideously, wretchedly, hopelessly evil day.))

Anyhow... I just... had to vent. About hypocrisy and piety and stOOpidity and how I'm sick to death of it... because MOST of what I see of it is done in the name of JEE-zus KHRist!  And it pixxes me right the hell off.  Give me a real person with a heart for TRUTH any day compared to a holier-than-thou spiritual idiot spouting opinion and principles that run CONTRARY to scripture.

Yeah.  There's MY shabbat lesson for the day.

MileStone!!

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Why did Moses pray, "God of all Spirits of all flesh" [when requesting a new leader for Israel]? Moses said to Him, "Master of the Universe! The personality of every human is revealed before you, and you know that no two are exactly alike. Appoint a leader over them that will bear with each one according to his personality." (Rashi on Numbers 27:16)

So the LORD said to Moses, "Take Joshua the son of Nun, a man in whom is the Spirit, and lay your hand on him." (Numbers 27:18)

The LORD answered Moses' prayer for a successor by appointing Joshua, the servant of Moses, as the next leader of Israel. Joshua was a man in whom the Spirit of God resided. How did Joshua become such a great and worthy leader? He learned the art of leadership by being a careful disciple and faithful servant of Moses. If a person desires to develop in wisdom, he should spend time with the wise. If a person desires to develop in righteousness, he should spend time with righteous people. If a person desires to become a good leader, he should stay close to good leaders. Likewise, as we become better disciples of our teacher Yeshua of Nazareth, we will become more and more like Him. The Gospel of Luke says, "A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher" (Luke 6:40).

The LORD told Moses to lay his hands on Joshua, symbolizing a transfer of authority and spiritual prowess. The laying-on-of-hands ritual signifies an investment of identity. For example, when a person bringing a sacrifice laid his hands on the animal's head, he was investing the animal with his own identity so the animal could represent him before God:

He shall lay his hand on the head of the burnt offering, that it may be accepted for him to make atonement on his behalf. (Leviticus 1:4)

Moses laid his hands on Joshua in front of all Israel so there would not be any question about who was designated to succeed him. He endowed Joshua with his authority so the Israelites would obey him. Rashi says that, just as Moses' face shone like the sun because of his encounters with the presence of God, Joshua's face glowed like the moon after Moses laid hands upon him.¹ The Midrash Rabbah, an ancient collection of rabbinic commentary on the Torah, likens Moses' laying his hands on Joshua to one candle lighting another:

Like one who lights one candle with another, [the leaders of Israel] were filled with the Holy Spirit. They were filled with the Holy Spirit taken from the spirit of Moses, but the Spirit of Moses was not diminished. This is like the case of a man who lights one candle with another. The one candle ignites but the flame on the other candle is not diminished. (Numbers Rabbah 21:15; 13:20)

The transfer of the Holy Spirit from Moses to his disciple Joshua enables us to better understand why the disciples of Yeshua were invested with the Holy Spirit after His ascension. In the same way that Joshua was to take on the mantle of Moses after his departure, the disciples of Yeshua are responsible for carrying on His work.

A Movie Review

By now you know that most of the movies out there just... don't thrill me.  I've got my ancient favorites, and I just keep returning to them over and over again, because Hollywood and I aren't terribly good friends.  But then... out of nowhere... they'll come out with a movie that is just WAY good, and it's worth recommending to others.  Last night, we watched one of those.

It's called Jack & Jill vs. The World.  Which tells you right there that the movie was never intended to be a bestseller.  You don't give a blockbuster a stOOpid name like that.  First, it's too long.  Secondly, it evokes "HUH?!" responses.  Jack & Jill would've been good.  Or maybe if they wanted to be creative, go all lowercase (jack & jill) or spell it weird (Jak & Jil) or something un-stOOpid.  But that's just me.  But in any case, this is one of those examples where you shouldn't just the flick by it's title.  R'something.

The film is an independant, which means it didn't have the promotion that films by Warner or Tri-Star or Paramount get.  That was nail number two in its coffin.  How you promote something can make or break it.  This week, we got Disney Jams CD from the library, and got to hear Hannah Montana for the first time ever.  That chick can't sing for shit, but she's marketed as if she's God's gift to tweenies, so she's THE it girl of pop teen culture, for example.  Personally, I love Suzy Bogguss' songs... but she's never been marketed, and nobody knows her.  ((NoTe:  There's a Gwen Stefani song on the Disney CD.  I'd never heard her, either... and she intrigues me.  Must do research on why...))

The third nail in this movie's coffin is it's star.  Freddie Prinze Jr. has been off the scene for a LONG time now... so long that in the interim, he grew up.  Someone got the idea that this would be the perfect platform for him to re-appear as a player in the Hollywood scene... this time as an adult.  The changes in the guy are phenomenal - he's REALLY filled out and changed his acting style.  He's a MAN now, not a cocky teenage hunk.  And that is THE hardest thing to do in acting - to go from teen idol to serious adult actor.  Totally different world.  I'm not sure the American audience is ready to give FPJ a chance to prove himself as a grown-up.  They look at the cover of this flick and go, "Whoa!  That's FPJ?  You're kidding?  That's weird!" and walk away, shocked, disturbed, and not sure if the world is the same place they thought it was.  Change isn't something people embrace all that often.  OTOH, I must compare FPJ's new look to Keanu Reeves' on Speed.  Which is ironic, since I might also compare this movie - Jack & Jill vs. The World - to Keanu Reeves' Sweet November.

Aside from all of that, this film is SOOO worth renting.  It's clean - except that they're shown in bed together... twice, I believe.  It's got a good moral, it has an (unexpectedly) happy ending... which is kind of a spoiler, but once you start watching the film you think, "oh, crap, this isn't gonna be good... this is a drama, isn't it?  People are gonna die... I'd better a) turn it off now or b) get a MAJOR big box of kleenex".  But then stuff happens... and it's resolved in a way that leaves you pleased.  That's the best I can do without giving anything away.

Now for the plot summary:  Jack (FPJ) is a New York hot-shot in the advertising world.  He and his best friend - slash - ad partner have oblivious lives, where they just do what's expected of them.  George (best friend) is married and wants to see Jack hitched to a nice gal, so he and his wife keep setting Jack up to double date with them, and every woman they select for him wants babies.   And Jack isn't sure he wants a chick, let alone their biological clock.  He's pretty happy with his black & white world of neatness and routine, where everything is status quo.  The only strangeness he experiences is a monthly visit to his father (an eccentric bookseller who gives him irrelevant non-fiction on each visit) and daily visits to the roof of his workplace for a smoke and a conversation with a pidgeon.

Enter Jill.  She's lost, she's new to New York, she needs to find an apartment, and the map she approaches Jack with is a subway map ("well, it has roads on it, too!").  She's spunky, fruity, illogical, and very likeable.  Not to mention beautiful.  ((NoTe:  I don't find this chick pretty AT ALL.  To each their own, I guess.))  Jack hires her to be in a beverage ad he's working on to help her out, and they become friends.  When he finds out where she lands a home (in ghetto, New York), he insists she move into the spare room in his apartment because it's safer and nicer... just until she finds an acting gig and gets a place of her own.  And of course, Jack falls for Jill.

Thing is, Jack doesn't think he should fall for someone like her.  She's weird.  She doesn't jive with his neatness and monotony.  She's pushing his comfort zone out of shape.  Sure, they laugh, they have a good time, they get along great, and he can't seem to NOT want to be with her, but she's unpredictable, and he doesn't handle that well.  They decide to make a 'manifesto' of the way they should live life, and rule number one is "Be Honest", among other rules like "Actively wage war on ugliness", and "Believe in Happily Ever Afters".  What Jack doesn't know, though, is that Jill isn't being honest.  He doesn't understand where she disappears to, and why she evades his questions.  And when he finds out, every happiness he'd come to love is threatened.

The movie is about loving regardless of your preconcieved ideas.  It's about NOT going with the status quo.  ("I just spent an hour writing up a promotional on pre-laid carpet.  Just how excited should I be?")  It's about dumping a box of 5000 "STUPID" stickers off the roof of a building and letting people stick them up all over New York.  ("Someone taped my gas tank closed this morning with a sticker.  Guess what that sticker said, Jack?  It said 'Stupid', Jack."  "Well, George, then someone obviously thinks your truck is stupid."))  It's SO Brian and I... the whole relationship thing of NOT seeing eye to eye.  The humor in it was hilarious.  The heart of it was captivating.  We busted UP laughing at the tattoo... ((you've gotta see to understand.  They should've caught that... Besides, a guy like Jack wouldn't do something as risque and non-conformist as have a massive tattoo on his arm.))   The underying point (about society, about love, about giving) was perfect.

Sweet November used to be my sick movie.  Meaning, whenever I'm sick with the flu, I pulled it out and watched it, because it made me feel better to know someone was sicker and was still loved (although I always turn it off as the last sex scene shows, because I don't like the ended of THAT movie at all.))  Anyhow, this one was five times more believable, six times better written, and seven times more endearing.  Even if I like Charlize better than this chick BY FAR.  Still... Jack & Jill is most definitely worth an evening of your time.

Torah Class Tidbits

The last time I posted one of these was back in GENESIS, people.  Ho. Lee. Wha.  That was a LONG, LONG time ago.  So I had a choice:  a) go back to where I left off and start with the notes I took back then, b) pick up where I am, now, or c) pick up at the start of the book I'm in right now and take you forward to where I am and back up and hit the other notes later (while I'm working on more here).  And since you'll learn either way and this is more relevant to where I am, I thought I'd post from LEVITICUS, where I am right now.  We'll start at the beginning, since I'm only on chapter 11...ish.  ((grins))  Just so's ya know. 

WEEK SIXTY-SEVEN

The Truth about Sacrifice:   "The physical aspect of the sacrificial system did not become obsolete because a physical sacrifice and the shedding of blood was still necessary for atonement of sin; however the sacrificial system did undergo a transformation... by making Yeshuah the perfect and permanent physical sacrifice for aontment of sin, that was formerly and temporarily and imperfectly accomplished by the slaying of prescribed animals."  Wow, huh?  That's why it takes me SO LONG to get thru TorahClass.  It's deep shit, people.  This is the deal:  Chrischuns will tell you to your face that the Law given in the Old Testament is no longer valid, and that we don't sacrifice anymore, because Christ's sacrifice on the cross ended that.  That is NOT true.  Christ's death is a CONTINUATION of the sacrificial system.  To put it in simple terms, Yah/God requires sacrifice to cover sins.  He did in the Old Testament, and He does now.  It has NOT ended.  The law is WHOLLY still valid.  The only difference between then and now is that they didn't have a perpetual sacrifice - they had to keep slaying critters.  We don't have to, because Christ's death covers sins past, present, and future.  So sacrifice using blood is STILL required... we're just fortunate that Christ provided the ultimate sacrifice so we don't have to bring critters to try to atone for our misdeeds.  One pledge of belief and alliance, and we're covered for all time.  That doesn't mean it's over, it just means that it's being handled for us... the sacrificial system was overhauled, NOT terminated.  This is CORE to the faith, and it's screwed to Hell by just about all the churches out there.

Playing Your Part:  "The Levite priests tended to act as the attendants or the officiators of the rituals and sacrifices; later, they were instructors to the people about the ritual and sacrifice; but right from the beginning, the regular common Hebrew man performed many of the ceremonial acts, including the slaying of the sacrificial animals.  This was a unique concept to the ancient world.  Priests of the other religions of the time were the ONLY ones who were required to follow the strict rituals... not the people."  This is true today, too... because as stated in the last point, the law is STILL valid today.  Which means that if you're to be cleansed and atoned for, you have to participate in that cleansing.  I think about the Catholic BS about the Euchrist, where they open their mouth and the priest gives them the 'bread'.  In Yah's plan, man has to reach out and TAKE that 'bread' - we have to accept Christ's sacrifice for ourselves.  ((Yet another reason the Catholics suck - they got it even more screwed up than the chrischuns.))  I just think it's kewl that even back in 3000BC, it was up to the man to make the choice to obey and follow of themselves, y'know?

WEEK SIXTY-EIGHT

Intentional Sin Covered!  Back in Christ's time (and before), there were sins that were not covered by the sacrificial system.  If you committed a biggie, you'd be a 'war' with God/Yah forever, and many of those were punishable by death.  What was kewl about Christ's sacrifice (and got Paul so fired up with excitement) was that His (Christ's) sacrifice was for ALL sin - even the ones not covered previously.  Christ isn't just the replacement for the OT High Priest, he's MORE than the OT High Priest ever was.

The New Coverage Plan!  Back in Aaron's time, sins were only COVERED, meaning they were still there, just paid for.  Like a debt on your credit score... it's not a black mark, but it's still there, even though it's paid off.  After Christ's resurrection, the sins weren't just covered, they were erased.  Gone.  No more.  There IS no more credit score or debt record - it's over with, forever, for those who accept Christ as their master.  The OT people didn't HAVE that luxury.  They had to keep paying, keep remembering, keep worrying.  I don't know about you, but I think the new coverage plan RAWKS.

WEEK SIXTY-NINE

The Olah.  The Hebrew word for what our Bibles call 'burnt offering' is olah.  When churches teach about 'burnt offerings' in the OT, they focus on the burning of the critter - the process.  Olah wasn't about that.  Olah actually means "ascend" or "bring near".  It is the smoke, and where the smoke is going that is key to the offering.  It's about bringing something from us close to the Lord.  How often do we think it all happens here on our level?

Semikhah. Our Bibles tell us that the people who sacrificed critters for atonement 'layed hands' on the critters.  What gets brushed over is that it's not about 'ownership', it's about transfer.  The guilt of the sacrificer is transferred to the critter, and killing Clarabell becomes a substitute for killing the person who tranferred his/her sin to that critter.  At the cross, the guilt of all mankind before, during and after Christ was transferred to Yeshua.  That's why Yah/God turned His face from His son - Yah cannot abide sin.  Remember Christ crying out "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"  That'd be the semikhah - the transfer of sin.  But since Yeshua didn't remain in the grave, the only thing that died on that cross was our sin.  Talk about kewl!

WEEK SEVENTY

The Mincah.  The next kind of sacrifice was the "mincah'.  It means 'meal offering', but we think of 'meal' as supper, lunch, or breakfast.  Meal in this case is a grain-like substance.  The KJV often translates 'mincah' to be 'meat offering' as a result, even though it's actually a grain offering.  ((Weird.))  In the story of Cain and Abel, Abel's gift was the 'mincah', though, and Cain's grain offering was not, so that probably screwed things up for the KJV writers.  In actuality, it has nothing to do with WHAT is offered, but WHY.  It's one of those things we don't 'get' because we think Western (logic), and they think Eastern (analogic).  As they said my favorite episode of Northern Exposure:  "It's not the thing you fling, it's the fling." ((Hilarious - he wanted to put a cow in a catapult, but the humane society protested... he ended up flinging a piano, instead.  Tangent.))  Anyhow, the 'mincah' is about OUR heart condition towards God. 

Requisites.  BTW, the olah and mincah were required offerings from everyone - we're REQUIRED to draw nigh to Yah (olah) and to reverence and surrender our hearts and wills to Him (mincah).

WEEK SEVENTY-ONE  - There aren't any notes to discuss for this week.

WEEK SEVENTY-TWO

The Zevah.  The next offering is the "zevah", or peace offering.  At this point, I'm seeing that there are different OT offerings, and (me being Anna) I wanted to know if these offerings OT have a counterpart NT.  They do, and they're symbolic of things we're familiar with.  The olah was a DAILY sacrifice made by way of smoke, and it's the physical OT counterpart to NT FAITH.  The mincah was a DAILY sacrifice made to indicate the giver's heart condition, and it's the OT counterpart to ALLEGIANCE.  Note that both of these are DAILY sacrifices... Faith and allegiance are things we must actively have on a daily basis.  The zevah was a special occasion sacrifice that established fellowship with God.  I find it interesting that the zevah wasn't a daily thing... because the church puts it across that you have to have 'fellowship with God' everyday, via quiet time and devotions and other things like service.  It's NOT true.  Faith and allegiance are your part, and the fellowship with God comes as HE sees fit.  Y'know those 'dry spells' we have?  That David wrote about?  That's an indication that zevah isn't a daily thing.  But the church makes you feel like you're defective or doing something wrong if you're not 'in fellowship with God'.  It's a twisting of a scriptural concept.

Sacrifice and Salvation.  Taking it a step futher (because I do that - you should be used to that by now), if all three of these sacrifices (OT) are physical manifestations of NT elements, how do those NT elements relate to salvation?  After all, isn't salvation the point?  We have olah (faith), mincah (alliance), and zevah (unity/fellowship).  Now let's look at verses that ties it together:  "If thou shalt CONFESS (mincah) with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt BELIEVE (olah) with your heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.  ...For the same Lord over all is rich unto all (zevah) that call upon Him."  Woot!

Going Even Futher...  Not to kill a dead horse or anything but the olah is a 'meat' offering (death), mincah is a 'spirit' offering (burial, 3 days in the spiritual realm), and the zevah is a 'peace' offering (resurrection/fellowship).  How 'bout that?

Death & the Camp.  Speaking of Calvary vs. OT physical manifestations, take a look at this:  "Just as the High Priest brings an offering of blood to the Holy of Holies, but the body of the bull is burned OUTSIDE the camp, so too Yeshua suffered His offering of blood (scourged and beaten inside the camp) but His DESTRUCTION was outside the camp."  I didn't write it - that's TorahClass, verbatim.  Very kewl!  It goes on further to say that the Mt. of Olives was just outside of the camp (Jerusalem), and that it is the only place that people could've been to see the veil tear. Doubly kewl!

And... I'm going to stop there, because that's a LOT to digest.  But it's good, meaty stuff, ain't it!?