AnnaPavlovaFan's Xanga

I Don't Believe What I'm Hearing from My Own Mouth...

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:46:24 GMT

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… I am getting a “Facebook”. At first, I was completely against the idea. I thought,

“Wow… it’s just another fad going through my church congregation (surprise!), so whatever.”

But then all my friends starting getting them and telling me how cool and fun they were, and so I felt kind of out of the loop.

But I stood steadfast. I would not get a Facebook. (See "On the Outside and Barely Able to Look In"). But I would still hear of all my friends interacting with each other, and chatting, sharing pictures and videos, and having tons of fun and getting to know each other.

A specific part of my reasons of not wanting a Facebook was that I have a habit of wanting to be noticed by people, and seeking their approval of me. And some specific people that I knew had Facebooks were exactly who I was struggling with wanting to impress. So, I didn’t want that to be a struggle or stumbling block for me, and that was a main reason why I did not want a Facebook. (Of course, know I realize that I don’t have to interact with certain people, so I don’t have to have that stumbling block!)

So, just yesterday, my friend Joelle came over to my house and showed me what exactly a Facebook was like. You can share pictures and videos and have a huge profile, (etc, etc, etc, etc), and I got hooked. If there’s one thing I love about an internet interaction website, it’s the ability to have a huge profile and interact with friends in such a fun way!

So now, I am officially setting up a Facebook account. I am breaking my “vow” of not falling to fads and I am going to have fun and get to know people!

Hope to see you there!

What’s the Purpose of Teen Love?

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:52:18 GMT

Here, I’ll get straight to my point. I don’t understand why teens get involved with each other romantically. There is no point whatsoever. I mean, you’re “on” hormones (they are almost like a drug!), you’re inexperienced in everything, and you’re transitioning from childhood to adulthood. Why add the complications of love?

You both are young. You both might have career plans that neither of you know about. Both of your views on life are changing every day because you both are constantly growing in body and mind. When you both finally mature and are fully grown (the average person doesn’t stop growing their brain until around their early twenties!), you both will be completely different people then when you were teens.

I hear rumors and gossip about boys kissing girls and major flirting (in the church congregations I’ve gone to, even!), and I don’t understand why it goes on (behind the parents’ backs, I might add!). Yes, I know, it’s hormones, but that’s no excuse. I personally think people (especially guys) flirt, kiss, etc. just for the buzz and excitement of it. If you really like someone, and care about them, don’t get them confused or befuddled with their emotions by dragging them in emotionally (and also physically, even if it’s just a kiss!). This applies for just one person initiating, or both of them doing it!

I guess I’m lucky. I’ve never had to deal with a romantic relationship. I’ve always dealt with faraway, one-way crushes. I’ve never had a guy like me back (or as far as I know). It’s always just been me admiring a boy from afar, longing for a relationship, and becoming jealous when I would see the guy interacting with girls, while I would be a wall-flower, too scared and infatuated even to stand next to him. Boy, do I sound pathetic…

I guess it’s easy for me to think rationally about this subject because I’ve never been involved in relationships (as much as I often longed for it), and also because I’m getting older, I can look at some things differently then I ever could have when I was younger.

I am glad I never had the opportunity to get emotionally (and, God-forbid, physically) involved with someone. It was bad enough for me to have faraway, one-way crushes, and to have my heart broken in those ways than to be entangled emotionally with a “boyfriend”.

To not have that distraction in my life was a blessing from God. I was able to grow in Christ, and grow mentally and spiritually, especially in this past year, and I attribute it only to God. I did nothing whatsoever, and I thank Him that I was not (and am not) dragged down by my emotions of just another sinful human being (because it’s bad enough having to worry about myself!).

There. My rant is over.

My Summer of 2008

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 23:06:11 GMT

Here is another paper where I would like to share with you my aspirations I would like to accomplish over a period of time that has not happened yet. In this paper, the time period is the summer of 2008. I do not know if any of these events I write about will actually happen, but I will write and dream nonetheless, and pray that God will show me the path He has already prepared for me.

~~

The first month of summer: June.

June was wonderful. It felt so good not to have to worry about deadlines for papers, getting to classes on time, etc. I was so happy to be done with the school year!

I had so much fun getting together with friends that month. We would get together and do crafts, watch movies, and talk, and it was so fun! I invited my friends Hannah and Krista over to draw Manga (Japanese comic drawings) during that month, and we had a lot of fun! I never thought I would like Japanese Animé (animation) or Manga, but it is so fun to draw and color (oh, and I had gotten Manga paper and nine Copic markers, and had already drawn lots of pictures!).

During the middle of June, I got my permit. I couple of days after I got it, my Dad gave me my first driving lesson. It was very weird to be behind the wheel after 18 years of always being a passenger (and it was scary!), but I managed . . . with Dad’s help and patience of course.

On June 22nd, my family and I attended the L.’s 25th Wedding Anniversary party. I had so much fun! The socializing was very neat, and the music and dancing were awesomely spectacular! It was so much fun, and I was very excited because it was the first huge social outing that I could really show everyone my new hairdo (I had gotten it cut a couple weeks prior)! That may sound silly to the reader, but believe it or not, getting my hair cut was a huge milestone in my life.

~~

The second month of summer: July.

July was quite eventful. I attended On Your Toes Studios’ intermediate intensive summer camp. The classes were over three hours (combined) every weekday for two weeks. But I had so much fun and I learned so much! It felt so good to exercise and dance Ballet again after six months of not doing so! I learned (and remembered) lots of technique and moves from the Ballet classes, but Hip Hop and Modern were so foreign to me! I have only danced Ballet, and so a change of pace and mind was quite a change (though I can say it was refreshing and extremely fun!).

I was also still learning how to drive that month (and I hadn’t crashed, yet!), and I was also trying to figure out what I was going to do with my last year of school ahead of me.

~~

The third month of summer: August.

Then August came. The last month of summer. The month of getting ready for the next school year.

I talked to my parents about taking college classes like prerequisites such as math, English, grammar and writing, etc. I knew I would have no problem with any reading or writing assignments, but I knew I needed to get math (and other prerequisites) out of the way before I decided to actually go to college.

I was still trying to decide whether I actually wanted to get a degree of something when I attended college after I graduated. Would I study the Korean language and become a translator? Would I get a degree in Graphic Design and have a professional career? Or would I write books and make a living off of that? These were all really hard questions that were very hard to try to figure out…

But I did know that I wanted to go to college, get my driver’s license, and get a job. I knew I wanted to spread my wings, have more responsibility and independence, become much more confident in myself (for who I am in Christ), and be able to do things I hadn’t been able to do before.

~~

Present (June 10, ’08)

A part of me wishes that everything I have written could go exactly as I have planned. That it would all be perfect and how I wanted it to be. But I know that totally will not be the case. And frankly, I’m glad. For example, the last three or four months (March, April, May, and June, ‘08) did not go anything how I had expected or planned, and I’m glad! God worked tremendously in my life, I got closer to friends and got to know other people, and I could not have done or accomplished any of it! It was all God’s divine plan, and I know He has a plan for my life, even though it may seem that I can’t see it right now.

“A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).

Another Day... Another Year...

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 23:43:15 GMT

Wow. The year 2007 has already come and gone.

Yesterday, my dad assigned my brother and me to write a paper for school. The papers' setting was to be on December 31st of 2008, and we were to write as if we were looking back on our year of 2008. That night, we read our papers to the family (dad even wrote one, too). The papers were all very good (if I don't say so myself. ;) :joke: ), and it was neat to see what my brother and my dad wanted accomplished in 2008.

In conclusion, here is my essay where I give account of what I would like my year of 2008 to be like (of course, it's all up to God ;) ).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Year 2008 of My Life

A fictional essay written by Elizabeth F. on December 31st, 2007

A lot has happened to me this past year: turning 18, school and activities, and growing in Christ. Now sit back and enjoy my recap of this past wonderful year!

January was like any other January; however, I had an early birthday gift from the wonderful B. family. They treated me to dinner at an authentic Japanese restaurant. I had so much fun! The atmosphere was incredibly realistic and beautiful – I thought I was actually in Japan! We all sat at a very low table and sat on mats (I made sure I sat in the proper Japanese way), and we ate wonderfully traditional and totally different food! I had sticky, white rice (of course), Makizushi (which is sushi rolled up in dried seaweed), Sukiyaki (a dish made of noodles, edible chrysanthemum leaves, Tofu, and onions), and other such dishes of which I don’t know the names. The food was all very different, and unfortunately, I didn’t quite like all the dishes that I ordered. When were almost ready to leave, I thanked the nakai-san (the waitress) in Japanese. She looked pleasantly surprised, and said; ‘you’re welcome’.

January 20th, Michael and Nichole were married. It was so surreal; it was so hard to believe it had happened! The wedding was so neat, and it was quite and experience to be a bridesmaid. Nichole looked so beautiful in her dress and Michael looked very handsome in his Army Greens. It was all so beautiful and wonderful and fun!

On February ninth, I had my 18th birthday party. I had an Asian-styled birthday party, I invited many of my friends, and it was so fun! We all had fun playing Korean jacks, making origami projects, playing a Wii, (graciously loaned to me by the Lucas family), learning short and simple Asian songs and phrases, and performing a small ensemble of songs from Gilbert and Sullivan’s comic opera, “The Mikado”. The food was very good! We had sticky, white rice (once again, of course), and there were several party platters from the Chinese/American restaurant, “Panda Express”, which had one of my favorite foods from the restaurant, orange fried chicken. Yummy! Because my birthday was three days after the beginning of the Chinese New Year, I gave everyone small Chinese and Asian-styled gifts, and everyone loved them. Oh, I had such a wonderful birthday!

In March and April, for my literature class, I read the book of Acts in the New Testament and all of Virgil’s Aeneid. Reading Acts was very uplifting (it was a whole ton better than the Aenied!) – I’ve learned that the New Testament is much easier to read and comprehend than the Old Testament. The Aenied was of course the typical Roman gods and goddesses stuff (yuck) but I did enjoy the writing and adventure of the storyline. I never thought that I would be one to enjoy stories such as Virgil’s Aeneid, and Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey, but I guess my love for reading has made me appreciate the writing and adventures of those century-old stories.

My family celebrated a wonderful Mother’s Day. We all got Mom gifts and we ate cake and ice-cream and we played Mexican Trains, Scrabble, and Yahtzee, which was a lot of fun.
I also celebrated Hannah P.'s birthday with her. I couldn’t believe she had turned 17! I remember celebrating her 12th birthday! Wow, that is weird…

On Your Toes Studios was also preparing for its ballet performance, “With an Everlasting Love”, and Melissa asked if I could help with behind-the-scenes work. I went to all the main rehearsals and helped organize the little girl dancers (making sure they were in their correct line up for their dances, and such). It was fun to see my friends again, and to work with all of the dancers.

May 15th was my last literature class for the year. I really enjoyed having taken another year from Mrs. English. I had very good grades for that year. My average was “A”. At first I was a little disappointed, because last year my average was “A+”, but then I thought about it and realized that that “Classical Literature” was much harder than the previous year’s “English Literature”, and I had done my best in all I had done.

On Memorial Day, my family and I visited Jennifer’s grave, like we do every year. The visit was filled with memories and a little sadness. We all miss her. She would have been 13 years-old (which is kind of weird when you think about it. Where would my family be if she hadn’t died? I wonder how different my family would be as in interaction. It wasn’t, however, God’s plan to keep her with us. It was her time to go home, and I look forward to seeing her there.

On May 31st, OYT Studios had its ballet performance, “With an Everlasting Love”, which was an allegorical tale about God’s everlasting love for His chosen. It was set in Spain, and the music and choreography was very fun to watch. It was neat to see how much my friends’ dancing and acting had improved, and it was fun to work backstage.

Also in May was a music recital for Northwest Worship Academy. Christopher and I played a song together, and I also played a song with Hannah P.. Everyone did very well and all of the songs played were praiseworthy and God-glorifying.

June and July were two very fun months. My family celebrated Father’s Day, Independence Day, and I had lots of get-togethers with my friends. July 1st, was Canada day, and I sent a lot of funny cards out to friends (especially the L. family. They had quite a laugh out of it!).
One thing that was very encouraging about those two months was that I read a lot of the Bible and God revealed Himself so much to me. It was (and is) so beautiful to look at His everlasting grace and love.

August was pretty much all fun and games. My family and I just relaxed and did no activities. We did, however get ready for the upcoming school year.

In September, I started taking literature classes again. It has been my third year with Mrs. English and I am learning and studying American Literature. It is interesting to read stories by famous people I had heard about but never read their works. I can’t wait to read “Uncle Tom’s Cabin”. I have heard from the other students that it is a very good story.

October, November, and December were pretty much the same: piano lessons, and literature class. Thanksgiving was just my family all together and it was a load of fun. Christmas was a lot of fun, too. It was fun to buy gifts for people (and to receive gifts!). To reflect on God’s Gift to us was a very beautiful time, as well…

I hope you have enjoyed me telling you about this past year. It has been such a joy and privilege to be able to tell you about how God had (and has) worked in my life, and the experiences and joys he has given me and my family.

"Paul, His Cloak, and His Books", by Charles Hadden Spurgeon

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 22:54:52 GMT

II Timothy 4:13

‘The cloak that I left at Troas with Carpus, when thou comest, bring with thee, and the books, but especially the parchments’

“He is inspired, and yet he wants books! He has seen the Lord, and yet he wants books! He has had wider experiences than most men, and yet he wants books! He had been caught up in the third heaven, and had heard things unlawful for a man to utter, yet he wants books! He has written a major part of the New Testament, and yet he wants books!

“The apostle says to Timothy and so he says to every Christian, ‘Give thyself to reading’. The man who never reads will never be read; he who never quotes will never be quoted. He who will not use the thoughts of other men’s brains proves he has no brains of his own”.

A Tribute to Calvin and Hobbes (Part III)

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 21:28:25 GMT

A Tribute to Calvin and Hobbes (Part II)

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 13:32:36 GMT

A Tribute to Calvin and Hobbes (Part I)

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 13:18:42 GMT

I suffer from such incidents all the time... *sniffle*

*sigh* It's the same with graphic design...

Shirley Temple Drawing

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 15:12:22 GMT

Four months ago, I posted the Shirley Temple Portrait Series, and for my final addition to the series, I have converted The "Dimples" portrait from black-and-white, to color.

~~~~~~~~~

Before . . .

and after!

I did all of the coloring and touch up by hand on Arcsoft PhotoImpression 3. Yes 'tis a pathetic program, I know, but it works! :)

I think the original drawing looks the best, but I do like the colored one, as well. Voice your opinion! :)

On the Outside and Barely Able to Look In

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:16:34 GMT

A few months ago, I heard about this new internet thing called “FaceBook”. What was it? I wondered. I heard mention that it was something like MySpace, except better. Well, in my opinion, if FaceBook was in any comparison with MySpace, I wasn’t going to get involved.

Soon after, however, I got 'invites' in emails from two friends of mine asking me to join FaceBook, and it made me curious as to what exactly FaceBook actually was. I asked two of my friends, but both of their responses were almost identical:

“Well, I can’t really explain it. You’ll just have to sign up and see for yourself”

I then started to get frustrated. Obviously, I wasn’t going to sign up for some internet site I knew nothing about. Then one day, I nearly begged a friend to tell me what FaceBook was, because no one else was giving me any hint whatsoever! He then told me that it is merely a place online to easily interact with people and post pictures and so on. He also mentioned that since many friends are using it, FaceBook can become very addicting and time-consuming, because you know, you just have to find out if your buddy put a ‘Post’ on your ‘Wall’! ;)

I was so relieved and I thought,

“Phew! I thought I was missing out on something. Besides, I don’t need any internet 'addictions' in my life, and I can get to know people well enough in person!”

Satisfied, I continued with my life. However, I would hear from my friends about all of their ‘going-ons’ on FaceBook, and I would get almost frustrated.

“Oh forget it, people!” I would think. “It’s just a silly internet site!”

A few weeks later, I heard about how many of my friends and more were using FaceBooks, and it started to don on me. All of these people were interacting, having fun, and getting to know one another with these FaceBooks. I started to think,

“Maybe getting a FaceBook wouldn’t be so bad. I could get to know a lot of people and get to know my friends a lot better. I could post and share cute pictures with my friends, and . . . Wait! What am I thinking?!? Ah! I can’t! I have too much on my plate! I don’t want to get addicted to FaceBook – because I know I will! No – I can’t!!”

Still the thoughts and longings to have fun with friends and getting to know people kept taunting me.

It would be as if you heard about this great and fun party at a friend’s house and everyone you knew was going to it. You show up somewhat late, but there is still a long line leading into the house. You watch the crowd for a while, filled with all of your friends and other people whom you’ve seen, but never talked to, and would like to get to know. This party would be the perfect place to socialize, get to know them, and have fun!

As you are still standing off to the side and watching the crowd, the last group enters the house, and you notice your best friend walking through the doorway. She notices you and stops and says with a smile,

“What are you waiting for? Come on! The party’s already started!”

You’re not really sure what to say, and in no time at all, you’re standing all alone on the lawn. You can hear the music and laughter coming from inside, and you go up to a window to see what’s going on.

“I know it would be easier and quicker for me to go in the house,” You think, “but I want to see what’s going on first”.

You notice that the curtains are drawn, and you can’t see a thing. With a sigh, you step back onto the front lawn and stare at the house. Music and laughter from people taunt you as you realize that you couldn’t possibly enter that house. You know that the party will last for hours and hours, and you don’t have that kind of time. It would be such a simple step of walking through that door, and letting the fun and socialization begin, but you just know you can’t risk it! So you stand there all alone . . . torn . . .

After what seems an eternity, your best friend comes outside to get some fresh air. She notices you and asks,

“Where on earth have you been? You’ve been missing out on all the action!”

You tell her your dilemma.

“Yeah, you’re totally right,” She says. “It is super fun in there, but it’s almost too much fun. I needed a break, so I came outside to get some air”.

She pauses and says, “But, yeah, I’m really sorry you don’t want to come in. I miss you in there”.

This makes you almost go insane. What do you do? Go with the ‘in crowd’ and have a blast with your friends and have sweet fellowship, or follow your convictions and feel completely left out of everything (and it wouldn’t be for the first time in your life)?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know it’s just a ‘fad’ and that everyone I know will have participated in it and then in a year or two it’ll all be gone. However, in that year, people will have gotten to know one another better (I mean, as much as people can get to know one another online), and I will have missed it all.

I don’t know . . . maybe my motivations are wrong for wanting to have a FaceBook. Maybe it’s just me wanting to be in with ‘the latest fad’ for once in my life, or to be ‘in’ with the ‘cool kids’ and get to know and hang out with them.

I’m sure there are some Bible verses to help me with this silly thing, but I cannot think of any, otherwise I probably would not have written this irrelevant post.