Observations on Loss

I wept this morning, as I read Angie's latest post.  Why am I drawn to these blogs of sisters in Christ who have lost children?  Like all mother's, I have had the momentary fear, that God was preparing me for loss.  I mean, living on planet earth, most of us will experience deep loss, at some point in our lives.

The most practical help is that I have friends (that I know in the real world) who have lost children in the last year.  Reading about the grieving process for these women gives me not only compassion, but a deeper understanding of what my friends are going through and hopefully will teach me how to love them better.

I cry when I read Angie's words for several reasons, I think.  There is always immediate perspective, as I think about the many, sometimes overwhelming, opportunites that I have to serve my family.  Yeah, they don't always feel like opportunities.  We are currently on our third round (3rd kid, same virus) of a fever/virus kind of thing, since Saturday, and sometimes care-taking feels more like an obligation, than a privelege.  It's good to be reminded that these children (and all of the work that goes with them) are a precious, invaluable gift. 

Second, and most obvious, I cry for Angie's loss.  I've prayed that she would take comfort in the hundreds of people who come to her site, not only to pray for her family, but to grieve with her.  To confirm that Audrey Caroline's life was precious and that she mattered in this world.

Lastly, I cry because of the truth.  These stories are a confirmation to me, that the gospel is true.  That God is who He says He is.  He walks with us in the valleys, and gives His children the grace to praise him in the storms of life.  Angie used this line, in her blog:  That we live in,  "A place where God is hidden, just slightly, by the shadows of this broken life." 

I haven't experience anything CLOSE to the pain of these sisters in Christ, but I think we all feel the brokeness of this life, if we're honest.  I know I do.  I get tired of the daily burden of my own sin and all of the other consequences of living on a fallen planet.  But hearing Angie testify that she screams at God, makes me think of Jacob wrestling with the angel and getting his blessing.  God will take our pain and our weakness and our brokeness and grow our faith.  Being carried by "the peace that passes understanding" doesn't mean that God takes away the pain.  But Angie proclaims in her storm that God is good, because she has the great treasure -- Jesus. . .and He is enough.