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| Decision madeI've decided to stay in this city for a while longer. Perhaps I will move to Amsterdam in the future, but for now I'm going to stay right here, where I know the city.
I'd already made that decision a couple of weeks ago, and it seems the fates are working with me since there are two promising job openings. Both at a high school, which is the exact environment where I do my volunteer work at the moment. I've already mailed them I am interested, so here's to hoping I will get invited for an interview.
Having decided to stay here, it was time to do something with the idea floating in my head to take up a sport. A bit more than a week ago, I walked into the gym. It was fun, and exactly what I wanted. Most of the instructors are great, telling me to take it easy the first couple of weeks so my body can adjust to working out, and that I should always listen to my own body and not overdo it. No bulging-muscles, always-go-just-a bit-over-your-limit guys. Sure, some of their costumers are, but not the instructors themselves.
So yeah, while I'm still a bit uncomfortable there (as in any new situation), I'm sure I will feel right at home there in a couple of weeks.
And I love the feeling I get when I get home from the gym and sit down in a comfy chair. Absolute bliss. Of course, the feelings in my muscles the two days after is a bit uncomfortable, but I've been told that will go away in about two weeks. Let's hope so, because having muscles aches in my sides is not fun, especially while laughing!
The cats are still doing great. They love to run around and spill their hairs everywhere while playing and mock-fighting, and the bed is still the most sought after place to sleep. They seemed to have stopped growing, which is a good thing in Chum's case, since he already weighs more than 5 kilos. Let me try to include some pictures.
   
My handsome fellows!
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| Opportunity or disaster?A part of me thinks I'm absolutely crazy for considering moving to Amsterdam. Another part of me wants something new; new surroundings and new opportunities.
The thing is, there is a chance that it would backfire on me. That the stress of all of it would be too much, and that would leave a whimpering mess. No, really. I've been there before, and it's not pretty.
On the other hand I don't want to hold myself back because of my fears. I'm quite tired of the chains I've wrapped around myself. The padlock is already opened, but I still have to step out of them.
However, the "Fuck this, I'm better than this" part of me is growing bigger and bigger. And that's a good thing, whichever road I choose 
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| I had a great time last Tuesday celebrating "Queens-day". I'm not a huge fan of the Queen in itself, but it's great fun to stroll over all the different flea-markets. There are always huge parties in various cities as well, but those are a bit too crowded for me.
Anyhow, I went over to Dwaal and his wife in Amsterdam, and (as said) we had a lot of fun. He even put some pictures on his site, so for a recent pic of me, head on over there.
In other news, when I was over there Dwaal tossed up the idea that the job offerings in Amsterdam would be a whole lot better for me than in the city I currently live, and that it might be a good idea to consider moving over there. Honestly, I've been toying with that idea for a while now every now and then, but never seriously thought about it.
I mean, yes, there are way more jobs over there than here, but it would mean moving to a BIG city (something I am not accustomed to), where I hardly know anyone.
Career-wise it would be a good move, but I am uncertain if I can handle the stress of it at this moment. However, I am keeping it in my mind the next couple of weeks to think it through.
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| It wasn't about meIt wasn't about me. I just realised, I mean truely realised, that today. That some things in my past weren't about me, and never have been.
And that feels very odd.
I've carried so many negative feelings about myself because of those events for so long. And I'm not saying those feelings all went away the second I realised the above, but the realisation itself is quite liberating.
Which makes me want to smile and cry at the same time, but is also very stunning. Perhaps I am in some sort of shock at the moment, I don't know.
Yeah, I'm quite relieved, and that is the understatement of the year.
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| Arrgghhhh.....
At work.
Bored.
Somebody hit me.
Or kidnap me and take me for an ice-cream.
I might prefer the latter.
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