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| What's in a kiss?
“No woman wakes up and says to herself, ‘God I hope I don’t get swept of my feet today!’” -Hitch
We all want to be kissed. Most of us have been by this point in life. Those of us who have all have experiences to tell. Some good, and some not so good. Funny stores and stories that’ll make your knees week. So just what is it that makes our pulse quicken, our palms sweat, and our stomachs flutter? What’s in a kiss?
All of our fairytale princesses’ get them. They are the antidote to any evil spell. Even to a boring Saturday night: add one prince charming, a pint of Ben&Jerrys, some girlfriends and a ‘happily ever after’ kiss and, poof, the spell is broken! You’ll be happy again by midnight.
Or, ladies, how about after you meet the ‘guy of your dreams (#532)’? That night you lay hopelessly awake until daylight thinking about the first kiss, and, lets be honest, the making out to follow. You girls know what I’m talking about. All that needs to happen is to have the briefest of moments where our eyes meet in passing, or heaven forbid, a “hi, how are you” and we are planning everything from what to wear on the first date to the seating chart at the wedding reception. (I’m joking, but the truth isn’t that far off – just ask my mom, haha).
What makes kissing so much more intimate than hugging, or cuddling, even spooning? What makes the touching of two people’s lips so sacred? Why not touch elbows, or foreheads. That just sounds silly, but why lips? Why mouths? A mouth in and of itself is not sensuous … at least that I know of ☺ (bet Freud would have something to say about that).
Kissing is something that most of us long for. (Especially those of us who aren’t getting any ;).) Why? Is it just the fact that we can do it outside of marriage? On that note: is it something to be thrown around so freely? Is there more to kissing than the romance of it?
Most of the time I think that women look for the romantic kiss, the sweep you off your feet and transport you to another world kind of kiss… but it seems to me that that effect is more than just the act of kissing. It is the intent behind it, the actions that precede it and lead up to that moment of impact.
By that note, is kissing what we are longing for, or is it that intimacy of a close friend? One who knows us inside and out and would still feel utterly incomplete and alone if we were to vanish.
I have certainly kissed and been kissed in my life… but have I really ever been kissed, in its full meaning? There has to be more to kissing that two lips touching. Romance is such a fickle thing. We think we find it in ‘Mr. Right 532’, but it is so much more. It is not breathlessness; it’s not lying awake at night wishing he were kissing every part of your body. At least I hope not, because that doesn’t last - Trust me. True romance, at least I hope, stretches far beyond that. And is a lot harder to come by.
I was once told, and not too long ago, that what I’m looking for doesn’t exist and that my sights are too high…. God I hope not, ‘cuz that’s what I’m waiting for.
…Waiting is a bitch…
…Let’s hope it’s worth it…
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| Here it is...
**taken from my myspace
Here
it is. I know you are all waiting for it (and by you all I mean you
Sean and Scott,and maybe Pat. Im not sure if you read this pat.).
Today should be an interesting day of blogging all around, dont you think?
Tonight/this
morning has been amazing. NOW you maaay be wondering why I would chose
to use That word in lou of the pre-occurring events. So sit back while
I explain it. Not so much for you as for me (yes I can be selfish too).
Tonight now lets all be Honest here and put it out there in its
Entirety. I think it just might be time to stop hiding behind fear and
lies and deception. tonight I found out that my boyfriend of three
years cheated on me lets not mix words that is exactly what it was. He
cheated on me, not once,,,, not twice but three times. AND he THEN lied
to me, and up until .arouuund 11pm last night I had Noooo idea. It is
now 5am and I am just getting back from his house and the longest night
I have had in a while. Now you may be asking yourself knowing the crux
of the circumstance: Why on earth I would call it amazing?! and that,
my dear friends, is the crazy part.
What would you do if you
JUST found out that someone you loved more deeply than you could ever
fathom and thought loved you with the same breath would have sex with
three other girls while still professing to love you??
What would you do? I have a pretty good guess. BUT let me tell you what I did/am doing:
After
all, isnt choices the word of the day? I have made my choice, and that
is to love and honor him in the way I am suppose to. I do TRULY LOVE
him, and love keeps no records of wrongs, it does not delight in evil,
it is not easily angered (though, granted this wouldnt be considered
EASILY angered), and love ALWAYS PERSEVERES. And lets not forget Love
always Forgives. To TRULY FORGIVE I think is an almost completely
extinct quality. We feel as if we have a RIGHT to hold grudges, to be
angry, to mistrust. Yes- WE ARE HURT but chances are that other person
also is hurt. He/she knows what they did was wrong and it hurts them to
hurt you (hopefully and hope is not as weak as you may think).
We
HAVE TO be strong enough to look past our own wounds to see clearly
enough that the person who wronged us has wounds of their own (self
inflicted or otherwise), and if you TRULY LOVE that person you will
forgo trying to mend your own shredded heart to help sew theirs back
together. AND THE AMAZING PART IN THAT LIES: in letting go of your own
hurt to help mend the other person, yours is taken away. I still feel
hurt yes, who wouldnt. BUT I am not the least bit angry, I dont feel as
if the universe will never be right, or that life is unfair. I dont
hold any type of grudge, though the world tells me Im entitled. And it
is a Beautiful feeling.
I have seen the damage un-forgiven hurt
can cause and not primarily in the perpetrator. The one who holds onto
their pain, trying to heal their own wounds, continually playing the
wronged victim suffers more greatly than anyone could imagine.
I
am Grateful to Pat for telling me what (though I never thought he would
do this to me) I doubted in the pit of my stomach. Thank you. Knowing
is more of the battle than I think you will ever see. Yes I am hurt-
but I would he hurt either way. I was hurt when the action was first
carried out. The truth is what held the degree of hurt I would feel
later. Note to all of you people in relationships: and If you havent
gotten this yet, shame on you: TELL THE TRUTH. You may have screwed up
royally, you may think there is no hope for happiness, for fixing the
mistake. But be MAN enough to stand up for your own actions. DONT blame
them on ANYONE else. STAND UP and take responsibility! Or what do you
really have?
I am Grateful to Scott for being such a good
friend, to both I and Sean. I am sooo grateful that sean has the first
person in his life that wont give up or back down simply because he
will. Who wont accept anything less than his best and will fight for
it. I am grateful that when I go and wake him up at 2am he doesnt
grumble and will just listen and offer a hug then stay with me until
the end.
I am grateful to God that He has given me the
strength and the words to show and live the love that I profess.
Without Him I would surely fail.
I am grateful to Sean ironic in
the worlds eyes I know- for always being a shoulder I could go to cry
on. I KNOW you have the strength to be the MAN you were meant to be. If
you run as a child now you will run forever. And you will only die
tired. Drink from the fountain of life and regain your strength. I know
you feel as if everything has come crashing down around you. And youre
right! YOURE kingdom has! and what a Beautiful Letdown!! You say you
want to be emptied of yourself and filled with Him. So let it happen.
Give up your old ways and be a truly NEW Creation. Though you havent
asked for it, you have been forgiven and not just by me. Accept it.
Learn from it. Grow from it. Become the Man I KNOW You can be. You may
think that my expectations are too high prove me right. Youre correct,
you have the CHOICE to do it. Or you have the choice to tuck tail and
run. Youve done that, you know the outcome, you know what defeat feels
like. Do you really want to CHOOSE to be there again? I know you say
youre torn between me and someone else, DONT BE!! Those cards arent
even on the table. Fix yourself, dont worry about anyone else because
until you do you will NEVER have anything to offer but pain and
suffering. And I think youve had enough of that. Learn what it is to
TRULY LOVE and BE LOVED. It is here waiting for you and it is
Unconditional. And it will NEVER Fail.
Yeah this is long but it
is a pretty gruesome thing and I need to process. You may be feeling
that this is too much detail to put into an online journal. But if it
is really a journal then its for me and if it offends you a) dont be
offensive, b) own up to your offenses c) dont read my thoughts. Because
THAT is what they are. And you have been privileged to a SLIVER of my
thoughts tonight/day. And that is all that this isa sliver.
But,
from the bottom of my heart, Thank you God for always being faithful,
setting a perfect example of love and forgiveness, and for being so
freakin blunt with me. Ive said more than once tonight. When God speaks
to me he doesnt whisper, he hits me over the head with a baseball bat.
And tonight- I have a concussion!. SOo: Thank you God for answering
prayers THOUGH they may not always be answered the way we would like.
...with that i will leave you ... do with it what you will... | | |
| is it possible to be anymore torn?
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| Man, everyone has totaly migrated to facebook
xanga is like a ghost town | | |
| What I don't get about Xanga:
Its suppose to be a type of journal, where you can put your "personal" ideas, feelings, emotions, and events of the day.
However, you cant really do that, because what if those things are personal? and I don't mean just like the stuff that happened to your person, or your individual view points. I mean like really deep personal things, the things that matter. the things that other people really wouldn't understand and/or dont need to be exposed to.
You see, the problem with xanga is that everyone reads it. while that's the point-
its suppose to be a way to share yourself with others in a non-threatening, non-personal way, but you really cant do that, We weren't meant to share your innermost self with everyone. its something that has to be personal, intimate, a little intimidating, and there has to be a risk of getting hurt to get any worth-while gain out of it.
Not that its a bad thing necessarily, but it can't really do what it was created for.
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