Psychopaths

"We're all a little bit of psychopaths."

My friend says that each one of us holds a small psychopathic personality that we unleash when we don't get our fries right or someone cuts in infront of us in line. Everyone has a split personality disorder and they let it out as a defense mechanism or just for the hell of it.

Well accepting that I'm a psychopathic maniac. I must be some obsessive daydreamer to be still holding onto something that I cannot reach. The moment I woke up today, I wished that I could sleep much longer. Not because I was drowsy or the bed felt warm but because I had a dream of being with him and doing all the things we had planned in the future. Its getting harder for me each time I wake up because the moment I splash cold water onto my face I realize that this is reality.

Many claims that time will heal but somehow its been doing an opposite effect on me and all I can really do is to pretend to be mature about this and act as if its not effecting me when its actually eating me up inside. People were surprised to see me take it so well but the truth is I'm not. Its a tug and pull war in my mind wondering if I should give him a call and try to talk to him again. Another part of me just wonders if I should not even bother with being in a relationship anymore because men has the tendency to always run away from problems and let the women solve it or just pretend nothing happened.

I'm almost 21 and I feel as if I'm an ammature with relationships. Pretty much stuck without knowing any real details and I feel as if I'll be a nuisance in the end to many of those that are helping me and listening to me. Some tells me to call him up and fix things because they just can't see us throw all this away. Others tells me to ignore him and let him be an ass and let him regret what he has lost.

I've never felt this much stressed with a guy before.