LifeSalam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah, My how time flies. I keep having this dream in which I am driving and I try to press my brakes, and my car refuses to stop. For a long time i didn't understand what it meant, but now it seems very obvious. I am constantly feeling how the life clock is ticking, and there is no stopping it. I try to put the brakes on it, get some control over it, but lo and behold, i am unsuccessful of course. Everything is okay I just sometimes feel like im suffocating, like i just wish i had that pause button, or the rewind, so I could go back and re-do some things. I feel like i havent had a real intellectual/spiritual connection with anyone in a real long time...like words are so empty sometimes. People and their drama. You know how some people go around calling other people fake? What does that mean really? And who are you to say whether someone else is fake. Maybe you are fake. and how would you know? You know those people who go out dressed disgustingly/inappropriately who think they look good, but in reality everyone is disgusted? What if that were you...you got it all wrong and you never knew and u sat on your high horse thinkin so highly of yourself. This is something i fear for myself. I hate snobby people, but hey maybe i'm the snobby one after all? i donno. Back then I seemed to view the world in black and white. Either its right, or its wrong. But now things are so much more complicated. Putting yourself in someone elses shoes is so much more difficult than automatically condemning someone for their actions. Why do humans seem to get stuck in a repetitive wheel, making the same mistakes our parents and generations before have made. As the human race, are we really progressing? Why aren't we? Not by means of technology, no, but in human relations how we can't even get along in our small circles of even close friends. Dont ya think we would have figured it out by now?? I guess thats why its called life, and its a test. bleh. Another thing. Forgiveness. Sometimes I think that i have forgiven someone something but actually have I really? Some say you havent truly forgiven unless you have "forgotten". But doesnt that make you susceptible to being fooled again? Whatever. On a lighter note, I am a starter on my muslim girls basketball team =) Power forward baby. haha hmm actually the real reason why I came back here was this recurring thought that i have had. It seems like a lot of people lack interest in the Quran. its sad really, but they have good reason some i think. No one in my life has really instilled the love of the Quran on me, taught it to me in a really interesting way in which it should be taught. Many try to convey the message through lonngg winded lectures on topics that have been beaten over and over...So i want to have a like a trial run of Quran lessons that are more interesting, and not done in the traditional way...Basically if you were to get together a group of people and each say week a new person is responsible for picking an excerpt or Chapter from the Quran that they want to study. Select an ayah that has really influenced your life or you find really interesting, and simply discuss it. Bring in other resources like tafseer, and hadith further explaining it, giving different light to it, expanding meanings. Another format for a Quran circle would be to pick a chapter from the Quran instead and encourage each other to memorize it, arabic, english and discuss the fascinating aspects of itand how it relates to your life. inshallah one day. My MSA is having a halaqa each week but it is hypocritical of me to make suggestions and stuff if I can't even make it to it every week =(. Anyway to increase my interest in the Quran and perhaps even yours, I will pick an ayah/excerpt and just write my thoughts on it etc etc. Cuz now a dayz it seems like whatever conversations I have seem kind of pointless and its not like you can just go around saying hey you know bout dis ayah i read its sooo coooolllll lol. then people think you are one of those "Fanatics" who is boring to be around and will try to act all "Fake" around you because they think you are gonna go and tattle on them that they are doing such and such that isnt quite kosher. heh. and I don't want anyone to think high of me when really i'm no one. which brought me to another thing about this online stuff that kind of turned me off from it was how "fake" people acted lol. people always make themselves out to be somethin they arent, and hte internet makes it so easy to portray yourself in one aspect. Which made me think maybe i should do my quran page anonymously...but thats no fun!!! but maybe it would be best for me..hmm its harder to trust an anonymous person (who knows that could be yo mama!!) but then again you wouldnt have any prejudices? holding you back (gender wise, age wise, etc etc). But whatever. lets see if i can even keep up with this thing and whether I get any realll intellectual stimulation from it... and if i even have enoughhh tiiiiiiiimeeeeee. grr.. Hey if you read this just leave a short comment lol. I have my doubts... Anyway salaaam...for now... (lets see if i can repost another time in 2008!) <3 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqan, verse 43 "Have you seen the one who takes his own desires for a god?..." Have you? | 
