so this is whats going on.

i recently got moved back to my unit. back to field mess. they're playing games, doing nothing. field day is all games and field mess... th marines are slow and i just don't get along with people anymore. it seems like everything has to be stupid. i don't like it. everyone seems immature.

i haven't heard from alot of people in a long while. even when i try to text or what ever i don't get anything back. sucks. even my family.

i need glasses.

dereks been gone for a while and will be gone for a while. it's hard to hold a one way relationship. i'm really trying. and i really need to talk to him about how he is pulling this relationship off..

i don't seem to be happy. i don't sleep well. i have an attitude.

becker and me are fighting. i'm too involved. i just need to back off... it's just hard because we're supposed to look out for each other.. and junk... and i don't know what the fuck she's doing.. i wish she'd just say stop helping me..

she throw a tantrum and walk off on us today... thats immature. and bullshit. i said if you think thats ok to do you're a  shit bag. and she said soemthing like guess so or what ever... then sgt werther was like i don't like you name calling.. i said somehting about i don't like immiture brats... no i didn't but i said something and i refused to appologize..

but i apologized anyways and i said we both know you're not a POS. but that was crappy to do. she said ::shrug: ok and i walked away..

then she told gilmore she got called a POS today ... by me.. then Gilmore aproached me. so i told becker if she wanted to talk i'd talk, i don't want to get shit from other people.

why doesn't she defend herself? why doesn't she say no i'm not. why not say something back.. take responsibility when she's wrong? she's always so set to call others out. yell at the other PFC etc but when things get dumb somehow she rates to just walk out on it and all those invovled? we still have a job to do.. whats her problem?

i don't even care.

whats my problem. help me please... whats wrong with me? why am i wrong? why is eveyrthing have to be hard?

complicated? what am i doing wrong?

i'm so bummed

i don't know if its right.. not any more..

i feel like im dragging.

i wish i liked my life.. and now the only part i liked.. i'm questioning.. is it good? should  i stick with it?

why does he get to call the shots.. i feel like a little bitch... damn it.. i'm done.. no more mr  nice guy.. i'mma throw bitch fits.

he needs to grow up. and he needs to get a clue.

i have a question.

take two people T(female) and G(male). T was going out with ZR(male). G talks to T. tells her hpw much he likes her, wants her, how good he'd treat her. R isn't nice to T. Accuses her and bad things, makes her feel like shit. T and R break up. T is hurt. G asks T out. T says no, she's not ready. this goes on for a few weeks. T finaly is ready and G asks and T says yes. they go out. they have deep feelings for each other.. G changes his mind and walks away. Hurts T. T goes on. G comes backa dn flirts and stuff. T thinks they can be friends or maybe he changed his mind. then afetr a bit g says that he's got another girl.. on ehe thinks he's going to marry..

What with theese young people getting married? How does he just drop from girl to girl? why does this shit happen? whats with marriage?