Breathing. 

Remember how everything seemed so grand and interesting as a child?  You revisit familiar places you used to go when you were younger and the experience just isn’t the same.  Is it because as a child we were better able to appreciate new experiences?  If you think about it, from day zero, information rapidly soaked into our brains, each one being vastly dissimilar to the next.  As we grow older, we form a collection of experiences and compare them to each other.  In essence, they are less unique.  Think of sorting through a basket of socks – at first, each sock you pull out is different, but then you pull out more and more and find that the socks are the same.

A study was done on the perception of time between the young and the old. They were all asked to count one minute in their minds.  The “young” group completed counting a minute only after an actual one had passed.  On the other hand, the “older” group counted to 60 before a real minute passed.  A young person’s perception of time was slower than that of an old person’s.  Does this explain why time seemed so abundant when we were kids, and why our parents and grandparents talk about fleeting time?  What is it exactly that’s changed in us? 

It’s the groove we fall into, and before you know it, every part of your day comprises a systematic routine.  After a while, it’s hard not to let each passing day become a clone of the last.  We have real-life obligations and become so enveloped in work that we sometimes refuse to take a step back to breathe.  It’s the mundaneness we follow because spontaneity deviates from our strict schedules.

But this is exactly the stuff that kills our creativity, and stops us from enjoying what makes us human.  We need to laugh, take breaks, and put on that song that makes endorphins shoot through your body.  Somehow, everyday, we find time to eat and sleep – why can’t we afford ourselves some breathing time?

Loss.

 – noun
1. Detriment, disadvantage, or deprivation from failure to keep, have, or get.

My father used to ask me in my frustrations after losing something, “did you die?”  It would upset me even more because I wanted so bad for my temperaments to be justified.  In retrospect, though, he was right.  It didn’t matter, because I’m still here, and I’m still happy.

Happiness?  Happiness!

"We have within us the capacity to manufacture the very commodity we are constantly chasing when we chose experience" - Dan Gilbert

In a talk that started off addressing “why are we happy” and “why aren’t we happy” Dan ended up saying that our happiness is completely up to us.  We inhibit our joys, we limit ourselves in how happy we will be.  It’s not rush-hour traffic that makes you miserable – it’s our failure to accept that traffic occurs at 5pm, and it’s our impatience that frustrates us.  If it is so, then it cannot be otherwise.  This goes along with acceptance in things we can’t change.  For example, a study was done on paraplegics vs. lottery winners.  They were observed at the time of incident and then a year later down the road.  After a year had passed, the paraplegics were EQUALLY as happy as the lottery winners.  Why is this?! We’re baffled because we’ve placed so much weight on these events, when they’ve actually done little to change who we are; our principles and beliefs – our attitude.

My sister once served an engineer at a restaurant who criticized her job as a waitress.  “Why would you do this when you could be happier making so much more money as an engineer?”, to which my sister replied, “Money can’t buy you happiness.”  He disagreed and spotlighted his possessions.  This way of thinking has planted a seed in our heads that riches and the ability to buy stuff equates to happiness.  My father constantly tells me that I’m wasting my time pursuing design because engineering is where the money is.  I was told that I was a fool for considering a half-marathon because there is no “prize” nor room for social networking, but only a risk of injury.  My reasons for self-fulfillment and achievement were shot down for what?  Because of FEAR.  Where other’s may fear loss, failure, and heartache, you must crave achievement, success, and self-improvement.  I am beginning to see a trend here.  There are people out there, negative thinkers, that will tell you that what you love, what you are passionate about, and what has meaning to you…does not have meaning to them and is thus invalid.  It’s up to you to prove them wrong.  Design is extremely competitive, and jobs are highly sought after.  Does this discourage me like it instills doubt in others?  No, it fuels me to give it my all and not half-ass things.  Because I believe that if something is worth doing, then it should be done with everything you’ve got.

I’ve found that experience is one of the keys to obtaining happiness.  Each experience should be milked and exploited for the lessons it contains.  How can you be happy if you don’t know what you want out of life?  There is no changing what’s already happened, only reflecting (not dwelling!) to filter out the good from the bad and using each as guidelines for what you want in the future.  Speaking of filtering, I especially had a hard time digesting conflicting advice and criticisms from our critiques at school.  One person would tell me that the aesthetic “worked”, while another would tell me that it didn’t harmonize.  WTF?  Someone HAS to be wrong here, right?!  I had to realize that they were outsiders looking in, and that I was the only one who knew every angle of the project.  Their opinions were welcome, but I ultimately had to take it upon myself to decide which ones helped and which ones didn’t.  This is not an easy task, but it’s doable.  What you do with the opinions is up to you, but the choice is really yours and yours alone.  You know yourself better than anyone else in the world.  “Does this help?”…”Does this make me happy?”  If it doesn't, drop that path and seek another avenue.  Decide and move on.

I could go on and on but why complicate something so simple?  Happiness is within reach, it’s actually right THERE.  Explore to find exactly what it is that makes you genuinely happy.  If you can’t quite make it clear right now, try a change in perspective and immerse yourself in different things.  Talk to people.  What motivates them and what are their hopes?   Fear of the unknown is cheesy.  Don’t become complacent or too comfortable – because you can’t let what you don’t know hinder you.  Settling for less because you just don't know?  NO!  That's like saying, "I'm not going work because I don't know how to drive."  Learn how to drive and take control.  Like I’ve said before, not everyone finds happiness; not everyone finds something to be truly passionate about.  So when/if you do...run with it.