Tim got the bright idea to spray bleach DIRECTLY on the jacket in order to lighten it.

Well, it did, and in doing so, tore a hole in it. No big deal, we'll sew it up. Not. We took it out of the washer, and it now has a gaping hole where the right arm should be. Oh, well, he's going to give me 30.00 (the cost of the jacket), and now I can get a better one. Behold.

If this one doesn't do it, we're skee-rewed. Unless those eBay cosplay people come through. Anyways, I got mirrored 20% window tint for the eyes, which he's going to pay for also. :D Tim's the greatest.

Even though he ruined my jacket. :P

So we tried dying the Dickie's jacket I ordered...

...and it's invincible. So, Tim decided to message a cosplay store on eBay that takes commissions. I sent Tim four good pictures of Batou with the jacket, which he will then send on to the cosplay people. Maybe, JUST MAYBE they can get one made before Gen Con. 'Cuz that would be awesome. It's the only thing left to do, besides re-wire and re-wrap the eyes with duct tape, and dye my tan khakis brown with RIT dye.

I've got everything else. I've got a hair bleaching kit from Hot Topic (I love that place). I already have a pair of nice black work boots, which I promptly cleaned the mud and horse shit off of, and then proceeded to remove the "Brahma" labels off the tongues, and cover the bright yellow "STEEL TOE" lettering with black tape. The black undershirt was bought at Wally World, along with a nice airsoft gun (orange tip included) and an accompanying holster. I'm going to remove the clip and paint the end of the grip orange before going, though, just to be safe.

This is gonna be the shit.

Still more to be done on them, but it's a good start, methinks.

Deaths in the family are frustrating for me, but in a different sense than most people.

I don't feel the same emotions as most.

Living with AS, I've noticed that I handle deaths quite differently than other NT (or so called "normal") people. I can feel no pain, even though it is a person that I've loved for years. I can't bawl and sob at the funeral like everyone else does, and it's almost as if nothing has changed. Time marches on. I want to be sad, but I can't.

They say everybody handles grief differently, and my case is certainly no exception, because I suppose I have none at all. I've read that people with AS have trouble with deaths, in particular, feeling the pain of it. It's not that the reality hasn't sunken in, because it has; when I saw my grandfather dying in a hospital bed, reality sinks in real fast.

And it's not that I'm incapable of empathy, though. I'm there to comfort mom and Lesley and Katie and Alex. I can feel others' pain, but not my own. It's the AS, the wiring in my brain, and it saddens me that I can't be saddened like everyone else.

I suppose it is a blessing that I can't feel all the pain and sadness like the others, but at the same time it is a boon due to the fact that others may come across me as cold hearted, an automaton, unfeeling and unemotional.

The wiring in my brain.

   

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Stance on what? In my country, people are free to practice what they want. I'm a religious person; I'm pagan, my only thing is this:

You do your thing, I'll do mine.

Nothing more, nothing less.