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| Hmmm...It's been a while since I've written about what's going on. I wonder if that's because I've been busy or if I just don't like expressing myself. Guess I won't be figuring out that one right away. Anyway, this semester has flown by, but at the same time was just jammed packed with things to do. I would have to say it was definitely not a boring semester. I thank God that it's over though. I was and am tired and need a break. It's funny how throughout most of the semester I was able to keep my emotions in check, but now I feel like a bomb about to explode. Maybe it's because I suddenly have all this free time to think and reflect and wonder about things. I did have something to write about, but I seem to have gotten second thoughts about actually writing it down. So instead I'll ask a few questions that have been on my mind lately. - Am I nice?
- Am I funny?
- Am I pretty?
- Could I be considered girlfriend material?
- Do I seem to independent?
- How do I flirt with a guy if I'm too shy to even smile at him?
- Is it possible to become un-shy?
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| Well, I didn't end up doing anything that was listed in my last post for Friday except for work from 5am-8am because I felt absolutely terrible. Since I felt so bad and I was having a really hard time swallowing I decided to go to the doctor and guess what....I have strep throat. Well, at least there's a reason to why I was feeling so bad and now that I've been taking antibiotics I'm starting to feel better. This is also helping me to slow down and rest some which I needed. Although I would have rather not gotten strep because it is painful, but I guess God has to get His point across somehow. | | |
| I should be asleep right now because I have to get up at 4am, but I CAN'T SLEEP! I've been trying to go to sleep for an hour now and all I keep thinking about is work and how crappy it is and also about how sick I feel. So, I'm up to 5 colds in 2 months and this time isn't like the rest. I constantly feel like I'm going to throw up and I really want to make myself, but that's just so gross. I have a fever, I've been crying a lot or wanting to, and I just feel exhausted, BUT I can't go to sleep! I don't understand why this is happening to me. I like my job for the most part. My Georgia Tech, obsessive compulsive side finds loads of stuff the place is doing wrong and I have no power to change it, but really other than that it's great. I feel like God wants me to slow down, but I can't. I don't know how to say no to people and I feel like I'm the one who has to take care of everything. And I want to do everything, so that makes it worse. I feel horrible about not going to CCF anymore, but I just can't take the added stress of getting there on time and being forced into things I don't have time for. If you want to hear a little of my schedule for this weekend anyway I'm working basically from 5am to 4pm, then having dinner with a friend Friday; Saturday I'm officiating at 3 swim meets at 9:30, 12, and 7:15; and Sunday I teach swim lessons from 10am to noon; and I have to finish my Stats homework for this Wednesday which I haven't started on and looks hard as Hell. I don't know how to stop this madness, what the Hell did I get myself into this year?!? I guess I just need some encouragement and some fun. Ok, I'm going to try the sleep thing again. | | |
| Why does winter always bring colds with it? I'm not talking about cold weather, I'm talking about the sniffing, sneezing, coughing, stuffy head type colds. I've been sick off and on for probably 2 months now and it absolutely sucks. My cold has finally has gotten to the point where all I want to do is lie in bed and watch movies all day, but of course I can't do that because I've got too much to do! School, work, play, school, work, play. Where's the rest? I can't wait until my 4 day vacation for Thanksgiving. The oh so small things that I'm grateful for.  | | |
| I know I just posted, but I didn't read a friends post which was in response to one of my posts until after I had posted. And I wanted to post the comment I left for him (with one less misspelled word) on my site also. Hebrews 6:4-6 was a definite eye opener and a realization that maybe what I felt wasn't falling away, but more like straying from God. However, I never felt like my faith in God had faltered, but rather my faith in people and the love of God shown through people. Basically, I feel like I am loving on people, but I'm not getting anything back even from Christians. For me, to spread love I have to feel loved and I don't. I don't know if Christians think I don't need to be loved on anymore because I've been around for a while, but that's what it feels like and it's hard to keep showing others love when the "well has run dry". I'm still trying though and the last day or two I've felt some love come my way so God knows and He's helping me. | | |
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