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| i think since i've come back from boston the realization of becoming an adult
seeing all of my friends, the ones i have now and the ones i had
go separate ways, whether to college, to a different town, job, or whatever,
knowing that after this year, i'm going to be 20 years old.
is freaking me out terribly. honestly, seeing rich in boston was probably the waking period for me.
as soon as we got into that taxi and he helped us load our bags into it,
that last hug made me choke up so bad.
knowing that the only time he's going to come back is during the holidays while he's in college.
after that... who really even knows?
these memories, these friends, everything of my past.
the things i never thought i'd see, experiences and feelings i never thought i'd ever feel.
these very important fragments of my life, are nothing more than memories.
i can't go back
i just can't hit rewind
and thats what's killing me.
but, i thank god every day, to every extent of my being,
for being able to let everything that has happened to me happen.
from the good times
to the terrible.
i honestly never thought 20 would even start to be coming so quickly
i never thought i'd even reach the age of 18.
i thought i would die before then. or my spirit would like fly out of me or something.
i don't know.
guess i just have to suck it up anyway.
i really think the idea of my first girlfriend ever got married not too long ago was a breaking point in it.
other than that.... ughhhhh THIS SUCKS
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| i moved back to arlington happy as can be | | |
| well this is long over due
i graduated july 13th from the summer school classes i took at mesquite high school and the mesquite academy, and well... its been a journey, a weight off my shoulders that has been lifted, and most importantly a big sigh of relief. its great to know that all that is finally over. after going to 3 different schools in the past 4 years of my high school career, it has been filled with many interesting and new people that have given me new outlook and perspectives in my life, and also people that have defined me and have helped me discover myself. some have come and gone, some have stayed with me, and some are staying with me in my heart for the rest of my life that i'll never forget. the memories i'll have from them will last me a lifetime and its something i can look back on and tell my kids and my grand kids about how much of an idiot their father/grand father was. i'd like to apologize though to those people i stopped talking to during my relocation from arlington to mesquite. i didn't realize how much this move would've changed and impacted me in so many ways. but then there are times when you just have to let go. but you have a place in my heart and always will. but i can't forget the good times, the bad times, and the down right dirty... if it wasn't for any of those alot of my personality wouldn't be as discovered as it is now.
to Bryan - since the days in P.E. my freshman and your sophomore year, we've been best friends since then. nothing has come between us and nothing ever will, not money, not girls, not jobs, not anything. our friendship has gone above and beyond and truely tested, and i'm glad to have you still in my life i love you dude.
to Todd - though you moved to N. Carolina, and i didn't get the chance to see you last time you were here, and the fact that i don't call as much anymore, i still love you, you're not my best friend, but my Brother, and i wouldn't have it any other way. i work alot now, and i hope you really do understand that. i love you too
to Megan - though we've been actual friends for over a year now, you're still my best girl friend. you're there for me whenever i need you and i thank you for that. i'd do anything for you and you know it. i love you i love you i love you
and to Ryan - i don't know where you are... i don't know what you're doing... it's been a year since i've last heard from you, and i worry about you every day. you were going to go places, make lots of money and become mormon and have lots of wives and double the children haha. but now... wherever you are, try and find me.
well... i guess this is where my past ends and my future begins. i've decided on taking classes at the Dallas Sound Labs and considering the possibility of starting my own record label through taking those courses. i've gotta save up a shit load of money though for my first class. right now i've got to find a better job than wal-mart so i can make alot more money so i can hurry up and do that. moving back to arlington only seems possible through going to that school though. once i start i'll be moved back in with my mom. not having to work really and just letting me go to school. this is a biiiiiiig change
this is also kind of scary
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| i just finished my class at the Academy in mesquite today, and i've got to recoup my hours from when i was 4 hours late today on wednesday. work is the biggest bitch ever, now i remember why i hate working at wal-mart.
i'm starting to find myself slowly
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| probably going to austin for Lifetime... was going for Iron Age but they cancelled oh well
so whats been up with everyone? and don't act like you don't see this
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