Prayer

Getting Ready for the Summer

If anyone knows me, there are lists all over my house, to do lists that usually get done, but in this case these are things that have to be done, and I figure if I post it on a public blog then I will have to get them done...we'll see.

BEFORE I LEAVE FOR THE SUMMER (3 day countdown)

• Cheerobics learned
• call HP about my junk of a laptop
• signlanguage learned
• verses for summer learned (12 verses)
• music for summer learned (13 songs)
• Pack
• A cheers
• B cheers
• A/B cheers
• Music routines
• bandchants
• paper work
• pick up suit from talylor shop
• offense chants
• defense chants
• Anytime chants
• 5
• send out resume's
• Clean car
• send SB letter

hmmm again....

There are a few random thoughts floating through my head, and while I normally would just write them in my journal for no one else to see, i find myself here...being vulnerable....hmmm...don't know if I like this, but if I don't I can erase.

 #1) the new INDIANA JONES movie was really good.  I enjoyed it and found that Harrison Ford would not have made another movie had it not been worth it.  There were a little too many special effects for my taste and i would have preferred a slightly different ending, but overall I enjoyed the film and am ready to pull out all our VHS's and watch all the Indiana Jones films that I grew up watching so often, that and after discussing the enjoying film "Patten" I am in the mood to see that too.  Basically I want to watch all the films that I would watch so frequently with dad, including terminator, predator, and anything having to do with Narnia.

#2) I spent 9 hours in the hospital today waiting for my mom to have shoulder surgery.  All went really well, was outpatient, and I feel like we bonded on a new level.  I am the baby of the family so it was a new experience being the one that takes care of Mom.  The oldest sibling is a nurse and much better suited for the job, which was made very clear when I had to excuse myself as the merse (male nurse) put her IV in.  She did stop by for a little which was awesome.  I enjoyed the time alone though, despite offers from friends to keep me company, because I was able to catch up on some reading and Bible study.  (I digress) my real thought of this whole thing though, was I am 24 and not sure if i can handle the thought of Mom ageing.  It didn't help that the family next to me in the waiting room was telling outpatient horror stories, but I had a hard time.  this sounds SO pansy like, but I am 24 and have 1 parent and 1 grandparent left.  I should never complain because i have an amazing family, I am just getting scared of losing anyone else.  This panic will pass tomorrow, but tonight it hurts.

#3) My last thought tonight is do I have any place going out on a friday night.  I am able to stay in the world and not of it, and have stuck to my never list (never kiss, never get drunk, never do the dirty) but how close to the line am I coming?  I just enjoy being with friends.  but I do not enjoy feeling like a piece of meat, or that sinking feeling  when a guy finds out that you are a cheerleader.  I thought I knew where I stood on this subject, but I am beginning to think I am too uptight for the nightlife, and that is fine with me.  It is not like I am trying to impress any of those guys, or any guy for that matter. 

#4) My oldest niece (14, and we are beginning to really click again!) asked me the other day if I was ever going to get married after I let her try on some of my bridesmaid dresses.  I explained to her that I almost got married once and it isn't in Gods plan for me any time soon.  She took it as is, but then today asked me why people become nuns.  I explained Paul's words (Galatians?) explaining that the single life is a gifted time because your time is much more available to use by God.  She didn't seem to get it, so I explained that people like her mom and my mom were called to be wives and mothers and others are to remain single.  Luckily she left it at that and didn't ask me anymore questions about my pathetic life, which leads me to the question I keep asking myself through BSF study, time at home, ect.- What am I doing to further HIS kingdom?  Am I so selfish with this time that is set aside for His work that I am missing something beyond my inept imagination?  What am I doing?

#5) Last thought for those 2 people that get this far in this or any other post....I leave in 10 days for summer.  I feel so unready.  Not only do I have a TON of stuff to learn before then, I also have a ton of preparation to do on my heart.  I have been streangthening my physical heart by running to make sure I don't have any issues, but I feel at such a dead end getting the part of my heart that sets the tone for ministry prepared.  When did I get so hard again?  When did I become numb?  Right as i am on the brink of leaving for another summer of ministry I feel less prepared than ever before, but I am not giving up.  I have seen God do more in a week than simply tearing down the wall of a heart, so I have hope in tomorrow.

I am getting up in 3.5 hours to administer pain aids to mom, so I should close this, this page of blah.  But if the reader is confused I must add you had fair warning....just ready the top line of my page....just me...in all my randomness.  I don't have the ability to be witty, or cunning, or even tug at the heart, i just know how to let it out when I can't hold it in anymore.

2 Thessalonians 3:1-5 (taking it to the old school getting geared up for the summer)

1"Finally, brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may have free course, and be glorified, even as it is with you;

2 And that we may be delivered from unreasonable and wicked men; for all men have not faith.

3 Bur the Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you, and keep you from evil.

4 And we have confidence in the Lord touching you, that ye both do an will do the things which we command you.

5 And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ."

Romans 12:3 – “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”

Galatians 6:9 – “And Let us not be weary in well doing” for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

Hebrews 12:11 –“ Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

the things that make you say hmmm

I have started this entry about four times and still have nothing.  I guess all i can do is really ask for prayer about this summer.  There is much to be done and several decisions to be made about this fall.  Sometimes I wish I knew what God's plan was so I wasn't so confused and lost, but I guess that would take all the fun out of stumbling on where I am supposed to be.  I am a twenty something that still has the world at my fingertips...this is exciting in a very scary way.    Please be praying for the summer minstry, my heart is not quite where it needs to be before the summer begins.  All for HIM, not for me.