| It's gotta be said...okay...i would be so remiss if i did not post on this.
american idol was frustrating tonight. the contestants had to sing a song from this century. 6 years of songs. anyway, everyone chose weird stuff that didn't work for me, except for a few. i'll name the few i liked before i get to the point...i liked hearing taylor actually sing. he did a great job. elliot, he can sing, and that dancing was cracking me up. i like him a bunch. katherine, pretty voice, pretty girl, but for some reason, she's forgettable. okay...here's the point. mandisa. she praised the Lord tonight. she was awesome. the audience thought so, too. the judges? not so much. randy didn't understand it. didn't get the song choice. she sang "shackles", which is what she sings at Beth Moore conferences. paula just didn't get the point. not unusual for paula, but she praised mandisa and didn't get who mandisa was singing about. simon rejected it, calling it indulgent and saying "i just don't get that". he was short and caustic in his response. mandisa smiled and looked very peaceful.
i think this was an awesome testimonial to what our influence on the world is like. some just won't get it...like randy...just completely over their heads. some misunderstand...like paula...and come up with some crazy meaning when the real meaning is clear. and some reject...like simon...not wanting one time to admit that there is any other god but himself in the world. i found myself hurting so badly for them. i realized so fully that they are lost and that Jesus made his ultimate sacrifice for them too. i prayed tonight for all the contestants and judges, that God would reveal himself to them. i prayed for mandisa, that God would use her in a mighty way.
speaking of Jesus' sacrifice...i learned something in my small group bible study the other night. when Jesus was on the cross, he took on all the sin of the world for all time. at that moment, God had to separate himself from Jesus, and look away. When Jesus yelled, My God, why have you forsaken me? that was the first time he referred to God as God, and not father. God is so holy, he cannot look upon sin and Jesus became sin of the ultimate degree. all so that we could be redeemed. He completely separated himself from God, suffering total abandonment, as well as physical pain, in order that I will never be separated from God. i had heard all of this, but i don't know that i really KNEW it, you know?
as a result? i want everything in my life to reflect that i love him. everything. when i talk to my husband and kids, i want it to reflect that i love Jesus. when i relate to anybody, i want to show it. this is why i don't participate in many things that are "gray areas" of sin. if it looks for a minute like i am not completely passionate about the one who gave up everything, including a relationship with his father, for me, then i don't want to do it. it is not about me. nothing is. i know that's a catch phrase these days, thanks to purpose driven stuff, but it really is true. if for one minute i think it's about me, and i base a decision on what i want to do, then i've turned my back on Christ, who has promised never to turn his back on me. i can't do that.
anyway, i don't mean to preach, this is a personal testimony, okay? i'm just sharing what Jesus is doing in my life. i don't answer to him for anybody but me, just like you answer to him only for you. i'm praying for you, whoever you are. Jesus loves you so much. he gave up so much, just because he wants you to know him.
my heart is full...love you guys.
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