i just came to say goodbye

emmas comment made me think

but i have to do this

i am shaking all over and i know outside in the cold will make it worse

but when day breaks i will reagret not doing it

1.58am i am saying my goodbye

my only fear is that i may survive

xoxoxo

this is my goodbye

tomorrow night after work or maybee ill come home then go later into the night

i am going to hang myself

i hope things are better when i am gone

i hate myself for hurting my mother

20years is enough for me

goodbye and thankyou

im gonna try to reply to everyone before tomrrow night

and i might post another entry

LOVE

sorry i havnt been commenting back

...i feel mean

i actually have some news

I'm going to kill my self

I have written about 8 A5 pages explaining myself and how i want my funeral to go and basically saying goodbye

I have chosen the tree that i will hang myself from

its in the church yard of the village i live in and that way my mother wont have to find me

i havnt set a date and i still want to make a compelation cd for my funeral before i go

i have done some reseach on hanging yourself and i think i am prepared

I just want to make sure i get to say a proper goodbye to all my close friends (the ones near me anyway)

I dont want any comments like "nothing is worth dying for" because ive made up my mind

I just want support, and i carry on as normal untill the night i do it.

I dont know why i am putting it on here probably because noone can get to me who i talk to on here

and because i needed to tell someone...dont comment if your going to be mean please

love and squishies pippa xoxox

Today I am sick

I ate

2 bowls of soup, 4 small peices of bread, snack pack of appricots

I need to purge but my ma is in the house

and i feel sick

bleeeee

Tomorrow I am viewing 2 potential houses with my mates

should be a laugh

hope i am feeling better

hope ive lost weight

dont dare weight myself

i effing wish

xoxo

eating is crap

life is good

glad to be back in grantham

almost got a house

living with 2 mates

cant seem to control my eating

need to purge but my ma is in the house

:[

:edit:

I purped, hope my ma didnt notice

I'm back in the game

i aint gonna slack off

I've got 2 parties this weekend and i ain got no dollar

blahhhhh

I'm off to get ready for work

xoxoxox

ps ill comment the rest of ya back later

<3