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| The Little Johnny Collection;;
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him. Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that? His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy them.
Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
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| I've learned that we don't have to change friends,If we understand that friends change.
I've learned that something that you do in an instant, can give you heartache for life
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I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be that last time you see them.
I've learned that we are responsiable for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude, or it controls you
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I've learned that my best friend and I , can do anything or nothing and still ahve a good time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down, will be the one who helps you get up.
I've learned that sometimes when i am angry i have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them too, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of expirences you've had and what you learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.
I've learned that it isin't always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that just because two people argue, doesn't mean they don't love eachother. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love eachother.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secrect, it may change you life forever.
I've learned that sometimes the people that you love most in lfe, are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much i care, some people just dont care back.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and just seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in life, but who you have that counts.
I've learned that you can keep going, long after you think you can't.
I've learned that their are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that even when you feel you have no more to give, a friend cries out and you find the srenght to help.
I've learned that our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives, but we are responsiable for who we become
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| A lesson in life
Everything happens for a reason.Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity. All occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small test, if they be events, illness or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.
If someone hurts you, betrayes you, or breaks your heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust, and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart too.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things that you would have never seen or felt without them.
Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment, and take from it everything you possiably can, for you may never be able to expiernce it again.
Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up, because you have the right too. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.
You can make of your life anything you wish, create your own life and then go out there and live it. | | |
| UNAVOIDABLE LAWS
These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...
1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will have to pee.
2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of probability: The probability of ‘being watched’ is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning or soon thereafter, you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (Happens every time).
7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water or in the shower, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you do not want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something, which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. | | |
| As my story continue... I tried many method to change myself... The only thing I changed it the way I treat people. Nice? Not that nice. It is like... A certain of time I would feel like... I really wanted to change... and in a few minutes or maybe hours... I lost that will to change. Am I a Slacker? Am I a total loser? So what If I have back up? What If I have a lot of friends? You seriously can't have that many friends. I can gurantee you half of them will talk shit about you. Or either they are fakes. Me? I know I talk shit about someone too. But I do feel bad about it. I know sometimes I've been too cocky. Or joke way too far. I'm deeply sorry. I admit sometimes I didn't think before what I should say. So to whom I hurted before because of my fucked up joke. I'm deeply apologies. Time fly by fast... This is how I act before when middle school ends. I think about myself and start regreting... And now... High school ends and I start thinking again... but again mostly because of what I heard from someone... Someone whom I really hate from now on. Sigh... now I think of the time how I treated my baby... I feel bad... like 1 time when her grandmother is in a dead or live situation... I can't believe I was thinking about myself... first and not her... I'm a fucking asshole... a jackass... a cold hearted selfish bitch. I'm so sorry Hunny I hurted you that time before. I've been feeling bad all these times... Even before of our old arguements. I didn't try to understand you... I only wanted the problem to be solved and end... Now I wonder what you guys think of me... Billy, Derek. Linda, Connie, Lily, Leah, Evaline, and.... Sandy... Am I really a good friend? I don't think so... Oh and.. My birthday this year... I could say... It is not that exciting... Friends keep saying how much they wanna cake me and gimme a dinner... Laugh my ass out... 4 people... and they are Derek Billy and Fenna... Of course Sandy too... My sweetheart. So what the fuck happen to the others? And... Of course Leah Evaline Connie and Linda... They care... And Some other friend said Happy Birthday to me on myspace...I'm touched...Thank you. But than wasn't as I expected... Better than before... my birthday... Actaully... Before I didn't want to have any party or dinner with friends. Except last year was fun... People did cake me consider it was a coincidence... It was happen on a dragon boat race... Of course some people were there... Like said... People might say you're his/her friend. But once you didn't talk to them much. They don't really care much. I don't care if you hate me now because of what I said but... I know some of my friends are fake and you know who you are. You didn't even bother to say happy birthday. Oh well not like it really matters... After this year... My birthday to me is like a ordinary day. I guess this is the thing I get for being a jackass. Hehe. I continue later... I love yOu Sandy... forever for the rest of my life. | | |
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AzYuN_BuddY
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Name Patrick
