It's now 11:34 pm. I thought that I was doing nothing tomorrow, and would therefore be able to write this entry later in the day, but alas, I have an eye doctor appointment tomorrow that I didn't realize I actually had, and so therefore, I can't stay up until ungodly hours of the night. Particularly not on the computer, as my mother will murder me if she sees me on too late. Good thing it's not even midnight, yet.

Okay. So I need to update this, right? Yesterday I woke up, at a time which I feel was semi-early, although I don't remember why I got up so early for myself. Anyway. I painted my nails to match my dress (they're now an orange-y coral colour), and the thumbs ended up getting too many coats of polish, and began to look kind of red. Well, for some reason, they ended up turning a deep shade of a plum-like purple, and I'm unsure why, as I don't see how orange can turn to purple. Strange. I did other things of which I don't recall, and I went to the firehouse to help set up with the parents, and Tricia, and her parents, and her Aunt Patti, and Gerry. And when that was all done, both of us were taken home by our mothers to get ready for our dual graduation party. I got dressed into a white dress with red and magenta and orange and pink and a few other colours in that department all over it, and wore my prom shoes, since they matched the dress, and I put my stuff in the bag I used for my sweet sixteen - the white one with the gold flecks on it - and I straightened my hair, and damn, I'm writing a lot of run-on sentences. I apologize; I shall try not to do that any longer. So we went back to the firehouse, and we put our makeup on and finished getting ready. Then we waited. Three shocks came. Jeanette had driven Lina and Sumya to the party. Here come the shocks. First, Jeanette was on time. Second, they were early. Third, they were early with Jeanette driving. Rofl. Okay. Now an awkward moment approaches. Sitting at the table were Bryn, Anthony, Patti, and Gerry. Since we were pretty much the only ones in the room (all of the parents were in the kitchen, cooking), it wasn't hard to spot one another... Bryn is Lina's doctor. Haha. Moving on to the rest of the party, at least three of the tables hadn't been used, due to the low turnout of guests. Nobody danced, the entire night, although the music was a bit low. Well, people did dance. Eventually. When the music was off. Why was the music off, you ask? Well there's a simple explanation. The sound system went kaput when we tried making the music louder to encourage people to dance. Mikey and Joey ended up going to Tricia's house and picking up their stereo and bringing it back, at which point, the music was, thankfully, louder. But nobody danced when the music was back on. No. Katie and Simon and Jordan and Liz danced when the music was off. Haha. Another awkward moment during the party, which sparked me to wonder exactly why I suck at throwing parties and made me realize I should never have another party again, was when Simon came up to me and was like, "I found a vial on the floor of what I think might be crack. Or cocaine. I'm not even kidding, I have it in my hands right now." We went to my dad and gave it to him. Thankfully, it was my uncle's medicine; which Simon had said that he didn't know whether it was drugs or heart medication. Finding that out made me feel a lot better. Haha. What else happened? Honestly? Nothing too crazy. Everyone appeared to have a good time, and I know I did, but not much really went on. Ah, right. One thing that made me scowl with fury. Must put in private entry. Of course, Adam and Pete still need private entries, too. Perhaps all three should go in one large private entry together when I finish this one. (Brilliant idea, Watson!) And then everyone left, and it was Jess, Cat and I at one table, and Tric, Erin and Annie at another. And Jess and I discussed the possibility of Hershey this summer, and she ranted about her crappy day to Cat and I, and it was quite interesting. And I'm going to miss sitting with the two of them, like we did in freshman year at lunch. Good times, good times. Forks. Glasses. Water. Snapple. Rock history. Straw wrappers. Etc, etc. And then everyone left, and Tricia and I chilled at the bar, drinking Sierra Mist. And then she left. And some creepy firefighter fuckwad from Roslyn, who was massively drunk out of his mind, came up to me at the bar and started hitting on me. After I had told him that my father was my father, and with Tricia's parents around (although they were talking with my parents and couldn't hear him). And it was soooo awkward. And I was trying to ignore him, but he kept talking to me. o___x Tricia's mom finally got him to go downstairs, after much trying and failing. And then the two of us stared at each other and were like, "Weirdo." When my dad came back to the bar he rolled his eyes at me and I told him the guy tried hitting on me. And when we went downstairs I stood close to both of my parents, just in case the guy ended up not finding the bar downstairs with his drunk goggles on and tried finding his way back upstairs. Freakiest moment of my life? Possibly. It's close. Definitely close. I got home, after struggling to get the balloons into and out of the car, and I wasn't tired anymore. So I stayed up until four am, talking with Matt and watching TV. And then I was awoken today by my mother to go to a funeral of some chick in our family who I don't remember ever meeting. And that was pretty much my day. Summary: the party rocked, except for the after-hour in which I clung to the bar for dear life, and today was just generally lame.

I hope everyone else's weekend was much, much better.
That after-hour ruined my dream last night, thank you very much.
Now I'm baffled how I wrote this in just twenty minutes. -magic-

By the way, I'm not actually playing what my thing says I'm "currently gaming."
I never even owned that damn game.
But I want it right now. Roflrofl.

"Won't you support us by going Premium?"

Maybe one day, when I come up with a hundred bucks to bust out. I just made $1370 off of graduation (at the party last night, I mean - this isn't including money I received before the party, money I will receive, or any gifts) and I just spend over $1500 buying myself the laptop I need for college. The laptop isn't even coming until August 01st or something. And it's not even mid-July yet! That's a long wait.

I'll update with party things later. I'm too lazy right now, as I'm busy watching Camp Rock for the second time and lurking on the Neopets boards, making attempts at helping people but undoubtedly failing because there's so much spam and easy-answer questions in there, and I'm getting quite fed up. It's also extremely hot down here right now.

But wow. That's a long time to be using Xanga.
I'm going to go back to doing nothing, now.
I'll update later, maybe?

He really does have ESP, of some sort. Just when I was contemplating writing in here, in Xanga, just as I was considering writing a one or two line entry along the lines of, "Just take a guess who's online. Who I'm avoiding. Avoiding unintentionally, but avoiding nonetheless," Jason IMed me. Which he never does.

This is just too incredibly out-of-the-ordinary.

But honestly? I was going to write in here, make a Twitter status update, and stick an away message up for a bit. I'm not even really supposed to be online right now. I'm supposed to be sleeping, since I can't sleep late tomorrow, and since tomorrow night I'll be at mine and Tricia's party.

Of course, Jason's saying nothing to me right now. But still.

Speaking of the party, Tricia and I need to go over our music list and decide what songs to keep. Considering the fact that there's a few artists we haven't actually chosen songs for, yet. Only problem is she still hasn't read my emails which she requested by midnight last night (I sent them by one am, and it's one am now the next day), and so fuck knows when she thinks that she's going to read them, download the songs, and throw them all on an iPod. Lol. I guess we have some massive work to do tomorrow morning. :/

I still have yet to gain any sort of idea of what I want to write about Pete. Whether I want it to be a song, a poem, a short story, an extensive poem, whatever. I still don't know how to write about him, in what way, using what terms. Okay, wow, Jason just signed off. I suppose I'll figure out a way to write about Pete after the party is over.

Reminding me of things that I have to do, I still have to call that chick back about changing my schedule for the Honours program. Oops. I keep forgetting.

Oh look, Jason's not even signing back online. So then why the fuck did the bastard IM me if he didn't want to talk to my ass in the first place? I'm really getting fed up with his complete bullshit.

I dreamt about Pete again last night. Incredibly realistic. Basically, this is how the dream went down. I was talking with someone on the computer... okay, I was talking with Caroline on the computer (so maybe that part isn't so realistic, but whatever), and all of a sudden, the little box at the bottom right corner of the screen popped up, "(pete's screen name) has signed on." And I didn't think anything of it; I just thought it was a regular person on my buddy list signing on. So I moved the mouse over to right-click it and make it go away, and right before I clicked on the mouse, I realized whose screen name it was, and I left-clicked instead. I IMed him, "OMG PETE!" and he replied back. And then we started up a conversation. I asked him where he was, and he said something along the lines of him and his family took some lengthy vacation and went and saw a lot of bands and shit or whatever, and he was finally back home. And he sent pictures, and it was all real. And then I went on Myspace, and he was logged in and everything, posting the pictures to his photo album. And then I had to go to bed, but I made him promise me that he wouldn't ever leave me again. Like, about twenty-six times. And he promised every time, and said that him and his family wouldn't be going on any more vacations like that, it was a one-time deal, and now that he was home, he would be able to be online and talk with us. And I e-clinged to him and e-hugged him and kept making him promise, which he did. And then I signed off. Unfortunately, then I woke up, sometime a bit after seven in the morning. No, he still hasn't logged into Myspace. But I re-added him to my Sidekick's buddy list anyway, because this is the third or fourth dream I've had about him in the past month, and it's just getting weird.

My other dreams about him include the one with the girl stealing his AIM account, as well as a dream where I was somewhere (I don't remember where, this was at least a week ago and we all know how "great" my memory is) talking with Jason, and Jason walked out, and about a half hour later Pete came, and whatever was going on ended. I don't remember the details; I can vaguely see parts of my dream now, some pink and red and purple and a large room, but I can't quite figure out how to explain it. Nor can I explain the way Pete looked, which was unlike himself, considering.

I don't know what to do.
It hurts not having him around. It's really starting to hurt. I was so close with him, and he just left. At random, no warning. And him leaving us would take a lot of work on his part, because he was extremely close with me, was madly in love with Jason, and he was pretty close with everyone else. I don't understand why he would just leave like that. And if he couldn't get online, I don't understand why he wouldn't call. He has my cell phone number, and he had Shu's number, before she lost his. And I'm sure he has them somewhere; I'm sure that he could have called us if he had needed to. But there's no death records either. I've checked. Multiple times. Multiple times, thinking that there was a problem with his flight, or the car, or anything, really. And I've found nothing. Nada. Zip. It doesn't make any sense.
And now I'm just waiting things out and hoping that he's okay.

No word from Jason today. What a shock.