| So I don’t know where to begin…
A lot of stuff has been going on over the past say six months or so…
So let’s dive right in, shall we?
First, My Job:
I hate it. I hate my job with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. I am sick and tired of listening to people complain about their furniture, I’m sick of people not doing what they’re supposed to, I’m sick of people being lazy and I’m sick of people pawning their problems on to someone else, mainly me. I hate getting blamed for everything that goes wrong because I’m the newest person there. I even got accused of stealing a giant chair. One of the managers at the showroom said that I had come over on a Saturday and took it back to the warehouse in my car. The chair is too fucking big to fit in my car. After I fervently told them that I had no idea where the chair was, they found it, out on the showroom floor. I was so mad. You know why they accused me of stealing it- because I’m the easiest target. Anything goes wrong, blame it on Matt, he’s new, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I hate Freed’s, I want out so bad. I posted my resume on Monster.com the other day, so hopefully I’ll find something else soon. If anyone knows anyone who is hiring, please let me know!!
I’m about to give up on KISS FM. I’ve called Patrick (The Program Director) for over six months, I’ve put my resume in an envelope, wrote “Patrick Davis” on the front of it and gave it to the receptionist, I don’t know what else to do. When I’m told that the Program Director wants to talk to me, then he never returns your constant phone calls, it’s a little disheartening.
Second, My Family:
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but it’s getting ridiculous. We’re poor. My dad keeps the thermostat on 83 degrees at all times, and screams at anyone who tries to turn it down any. We live in a small ass town where Wal-Mart is the main attraction. You have to drive at least 20 minutes to get to anything. Main St. exists of a dollar store, tanning salon and a bank. Our house has been close to being foreclosed several times. I hate it here, and my parents want to start charging me rent. Fuck that.
Third, Boys:
Oh man, where to start…. Well, if you really know me well enough, you know that I’m still deeply in love with Ryan. And if you don’t know, Ryan and I dated on and off for about 11 months, he lives in Coppell and me, 38 miles (hour driving time) away, in Forney. We broke up mainly because of financial reasons, meaning I was the one with the car, and did all of the driving, and all of my money was being spent on gas and blah blah blah. Since I broke up with him, I’ve tried getting over him, I’ve tried dating other people, and nothing has worked. From then on I told myself I’d only date guys that had the means to come out and see me, or meet me somewhere, and not have to rely on me and my money and my car to be able to see each other. For instance, I tried dating this other guy named Matt, he was a really cool, sweet guy, only drawback being that he too lived about 45 minutes away, and he had no license to drive a car. I was doing exactly what I had promised myself I wouldn’t do. I really liked him, I took him to Gay Prom with me and everything, but it ended when he thought that I had cheated on him the night that I got arrested. (Another long story in itself...) I’m sad it ended with him too; he’s one of the few that I really liked and saw myself being with for a long time.
I’ve dated a few other people since then, but I’m still not over Ryan. He’s leaving for college next month, he’ll be in Austin, so there’s really no chance for it to work, so that might be what it takes to get me over the hump, who knows. I’ve been clubbing a lot, and I’ve met a lot of new people, but I always seem to run in to the same problems of either not being attracted to them, or them not having a car or whatever. One thing I ask myself a lot is, “Do I have my standards set too high? Am I too picky?” Sometimes I think I am.
All right I think I’m done ranting and raving now. Thanks for your time and listening to me bitch. If all you’re going to tell me is to keep my head up and things will look up soon, save it. I’ve heard it all before, and it doesn’t help. |
