Its been a while since I've even looked at this site. I've only got three more days of civilian life. I guess you could say I'm feeling depressed about it. We had a big going away party for me last night. Lots of my friends showed up and I had a great time. My biological father was there too. It made me feel good that all these people came to see me off. I'm just kinda wondering what I got myself into.

Joe went with me today to drop David off at the airport. It was cool just hanging out like we used to. We went into this computer store next to Sam Ash in raleigh. We saw these projectors that they had for sale. They were playing movies with them and we got an awesome idea. We're going to get one and mount it near the celing of our apartment (when we get it in march) so for those people who think their 50 inch widescreen TV is badass... Our entire wall will be our screen. It can be as big as 30 feet from corner to corner. I'm really looking forward to coming back in march/april. Not just for the fact that I want to be home, but because I'll finally have the financial freedom to really be out on my own.

I don't really know what to do with my last couple days here. It is kinda lonely. I wish I had someone to come home to but I guess its a good thing that I don't. I know I'd hate to come home only to meet her new boyfriend. I do have some footwork that I need to get done before I leave. I know I have to get a direct deposit form my bank. The problem is that my checking account is $50 negitive. I'm not all that worried about it because I'll be getting plenty of money from the military but it might make things difficult with getting started.

So heres my game plan for tomorrow... get up around 10am. Go to the bank and get my form. Call my recruiter and see what else needs to be done. Get my satellite radio turned off. Talk to my car insurance guy about pulling insurance while I'm gone. I think thats a good start.

Today is the 7th annaversary of my dads death. I had to wake up earlier then I wanted to.. had to take ashley to school. I left work around 1pm. I just didn't feel like being there. I'm not making much anyways and I've only got like one more week left working there. I'm really excited about basic training... I was a little nervous at first but I went through the qualifying stuff.. and I can do all of the maxes right now. I'm supposed to be able to do 43 pushups by the time I leave basic training.. uhh... I do more then that just to warm up. I think its gonna be like a really bad summer camp.

I did put the new exhaust parts on my car. It definatly made a big improvement. It sounds a whole lot meaner and I'm sure I picked up some horsepower. I was really worried about the headers because I didn't want to break a bolt off in the head.. they were the easiest to get off and on. The H pipe however, was a total bitch. I spent about 9 hours under my car saturday. I even wounded myself when I broke a socket. (I didn't even think sockets could break) I've still got my clutch sitting right here next to the computer but I'm not sure I really want to mess with it. I'm going to have a nice bit of money in my bank account when I leave AIT in march and I'll probably put some of it into my car. Some will buy a streetbike and a laptop. I'll try to figure out something smart to do with the rest of it. Joe mentioned him moving back to this area in december/january. I think we might get an apartment together. Living with him would be a whole lot better then it was when I lived with Justin. I would definatly have a much nicer apartment. I'm thinking somewhere in wilson or rockymount.

The past couple weeks have been pretty hectic. I'm about 99% in the military. I'm waiting on a wavier to swear in and sign my contract. There is another thing thats been bothering me. Since the begining of this month I've been hanging out with Jess like nonstop. I was a little aprehensive at first because I wasn't sure she was in to me or whatever. I thought things were going along pretty well... but I think she just got picky. I get the feeling that she's just using me. She never calls me anymore and when she does its only because she wants something. Thats not a very good feeling. I may be easily influenced but I'm no moron. I've only got about two weeks of freedom and I'm not about to waste it on something like that. I do feel bad that I did like her but I guess she just doesn't know what she wants.

This is the kind of luck I have. I'm leaving for basic training in two weeks. I've met three girls that are dying to hang out with me. They all want me to see them this weekend. I keep meeting all these hot girls that I never even noticed before. Like heres a perfect example... I just got back from eating dinner with my family. There were a couple hot waitresses eye-fucking the shit out of me. I kinda want to go out to a strip club with some of my guy friends. I wish I had about a month. I really don't want to work anymore... I just want money.