i feel depressed thinking about everything thats happened for the past few months since last summer

ive given up so much to be with you..i mean you said it was "for real, forever" i was such a fool to believe in anything you said

the first time i told you i loved you was because you were like "what you dont love me??" after all of your "i love yous baby"

80% of the time you made me feel miserable .. but the other 20% i felt great.. granted you didnt treat me the way i wanted to be treated

at the end of last summer i met a few guys.. they were awesome.. and all along i was too scared to let go of you .. even though you were gone practically the whole summer..

im not saying i wanted to have them as boyfriends.. but there was potential

#1 ronald .. we were bestest friends in such a short time.. but im not sure i did something wrong

#2 adean..grew apart bc he knew.. and

#3 alfo i was scared bc you had so much going on and i didnt want to risk hurting you or worse....

and van..

2/4 half girlfriends..

what can i say?

im in this predicament.. that i dont want to be in

i just want to be friends with everybody again out of these guys i dont speak to any of them ...one of them i barely speak to...

im dumb & a shitheadd