Hold on, baby you're losing it
The waters high, you're jumping into it and letting go
And no one knows that you cry
But you don't tell anyone that you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

So I know nobody reads these things anymore, but I was talking to Veronica last night about her old posts from last year, and how they brought back so many memories so I decided I might as well write... or type.

Let me just start off by saying, I love my God. Point blank. I don't really know how to describe the passion I feel for Him. Before this year... well, for the past two years I have been searching and searching for someone to fill this hole in my heart. Someone to love me, and make me happy. Little did I know, He was right infront of me. From the middle of my sophmore year, till 3 months ago I had been so down and depressed. I hated being single, I hated being all by myself and I pretty much just hated life. Then all of a sudden, I woke up. I finally found what I had been searching for all that time. I have always had a relationship with God, but nothing like what I have now. This is more than just a relationship, this is love!  I am in love!! There's no better way to put it.

My senior year couldn't be better. The only problem is, it's going too fast. So much has happened, it's just amazing. I've lost friends I never thought I'd lose and I've become extremely close to people I'd never thought I would. I've pretty much narrowed colleges down to UT or ETSU, but all that could change in a second. Oh yeah and I got a new car which is awesome.

Marti, Mikael, and Danielle have been awesome friends to me this year. We always have so much fun together and just doing random stuff. There is this one particular night which I will never forget haha I love them!

I miss Veronica like crazy. Sometimes I just need someone to pick me up and drive me around aimlessly for 12 hours. She can't do that anymore, because she lives 2 hours away instead of 5 minutes. I do get to see her, but not near as much as I would like. But thank God it's almost Christmas then she's all mine!

And I still get to hang with my baller, aka Dustin. Who always makes me laugh. I'm glad we're friends and that I can just be myself around him.

I'm not sure why I deleted all my old posts, but because I want to, I will sometime put them all back up. It's always fun just to look back a year or 2 ago and reminice. Anyway, if you read this, thanks. Love.

I was sure by now, God You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Currently Listening Chapter V By Staind Everything Changes see related

Patience is a virtue... gah when will I ever learn that?

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose
The closet you cannot close
The devil in you I suppose
'Cause the wounds never heal

But everything changes
If I could
Turn back the years
If you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel