BOOMSMA's Xanga Site

Weblog

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Belly of a Whale

Belly of a whale
Belly of a whale
Three whole days
In the belly of a whale.

heh. I used to sing this with the childrens choir kids at church. Funny cuz the stinkin song has been STUCK in my head for like 3 days now. grumble

but seriously though, its there for good reason.

Ever been completely convicted of something but avoid it like the plague. Like confrontation, or talking to someone about integrity issues.

I mean its one thing to deal with this at school, or when your a kid. No offense to kids out there, but most likely you're not going to see 90% of the people you interact with after you're done with school. But out here, in the real world. To talk to someone on the job about it. esh. I suppose the difficulty of the task is difficult reguardless of who you're interacting with at the time. But for my sake...i feel like this is more difficult.

I mean i've never REALLY been in the belly of a whale, but i could imagine it wouldnt be completely terrible.

Though i suppose the turnout of this whole thing would be the whale vomit...hm yes quite unpleasant.

Welp better get to it I suppose.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

the big C of american christianity

A couple weeks ago i was sitting in church, sort of zoning out during apparently what i considered a not so exciting sermon, and i had this vision of this weedish vine crawling through this forest trying to get at me. I had these large snippers (ironically the same pair i use at work) and just kept clipping it back...but it never ceased to come back and i was quickly losing the battle as i attempted time and time again to keep it back away from me.

I knew instinctively that this was the complacency i'd been dealing with.

COMPLACENCY

what an ugly word. its like being lazy. couch potato christianity. lethargic to what's going on. letting the things that would bother God roll off your back and shrugging it off. letting opportunity for the gospel pass you by.

BAH it makes me cringe

but alas i have suffered so deeply lately.

And i've talked it out with a handful of differnent people latelly...just like a hey i'm in a funk, get me out! low and behold they also were dealing with the big C. Which was fabulous at first, i mean i wasnt the only one suffering...and we could talk for hours about how it plagued us..

So i got to this point....right about the time the weed/vine was about to complelty consume me in my little thought...that i'm sick of talking about it. like oh poor me i'm complacent. lets put together a complacents anonymous group so we can sit and talk about our complacency....and then what. all acknowlege we're complacent? super.

there's a zillion and one reasons one might become complacent, and quite frankly in american culture where you're surrounded by a million other complacent christians who wouldnt recognize God if he smacked them in the forehead...its no surprise. SO WHAT ARE YA GOING TO DO ABOUT IT??

SO i'm a social worker, and i'm well aware that you cant help one that doesnt want to help themselves. I mean, its not as though God has become complacent on YOU, he's still there wondering where you went! So buck up and dig in.

And its not like there's a quick fix. Not like you can take a pill and get over it. Its simply a matter of becomming more disciplined, and seeking God's FACE, and not settling for a hand.

This example a friend gave me once in regards to relationships comes to mind. Relationships arent always about the flame, its about the coals underneath. Yes, with the hot coals comes the flames but the coals are the backbone. Throughout everything your relaionship with God is going to have flames...but if the coals arent there backing it up...do you really have a fire? So what if the flames are dying down... how are the coals??

Ive been dealing with this as well. In having so many smack you in the face ministry opportunites in the last couple years, being home practicing just BEING has been challenging. Just like God's saying ok so you'll follow me here, to africa, south america, whereever, but will you stick with me when i lead you home and ask you to stay there for some time.

So how many more days are you going to let slip through your fingers before you finally sit down and set things straight.

Might i also remind you that there is this urgency...i mean its not like we're immortal.

esh, i'm done.
love you!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

"May my cry come before you, O LORD;
give me understanding according to your word.
May my supplication come before you;
deliver me according to your promise.
May my lips overflow with praise,
for you teach me your decrees.
May my tongue sing of your word,
for all your commands are righteous.
May your hand be ready to help me,
for I have chosen your precepts.
I long for your salvation, O LORD,
and your law is my delight.
Let me live that I may praise you,
and may your laws sustain me.
I have strayed like a lost sheep.
Seek your servant,
for I have not forgotten your commands."

Psalm 119:169-176

Saturday, May 17, 2008

I've had just enough of the spotlight when it burns bright
To see how it gets in the blood.
And I've tasted my share of the sweet life and the wild ride
And found a little is not quite enough.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

I've seen just enough of the quick buys of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you, compared to you.
Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you so why surrender all?

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.
Oh, filled with you.
Empty me.

"Emtpy Me"
Chris Sligh

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Its been a while...

Its been a while again since i've written here. Sometimes its just difficult putting thoughts into words.

I'm still here, doing the same ol' thing. Wishing God would hit the resume button and let me get on with life already. I'm living in the pause button really. In some aspects its good, and I love it. But when i sit and look at the reality of the situation I'm in, i get frustrated knowing that as it stands there's a very good possiblity i could be doing this for another good amoung of time.

About a year ago i prayed that my life would slow down. I had this dream i was at a train station and that everyone was rushing around getting on trains. Not me. I was saying my goodbyes, etc. and soon found myself sittting on a bench at the train station by myself.....waiting on my train. It always stinks being the last one. In the last few years on missions traveling I've purposly scheduled my departure flight as one of the earliest possible in order to not have to deal with the repeated goodbyes of friends. How ironic I am now sitting....at the train station....alone. Ironic that a year ago, I prayed for this. Ironic that now it might in fact drive me nutty.

I have no idea where i'm headed next. I pray that got give me a sneak peak. The opportunites are endless of course, but finding the right path. the one chosen and picked out for me. that's the one i want.

I had an excellent conversation with a friend recently. He was talking about this book he's reading. In the book the author goes on about trees. A tree, as the author states is perfect, in that it is a tree. Everything about it, it grows looses leaves in the fall, buds in the spring etc. all this it does according to God's timing, and it is perfect. NOw if that tree were to decide it didnt want to be a tree, and tried to be something else. It wouldnt be perfect. As humans we were created for a purpose. Everything we do is with God's timing and purpose...and we are perfect because of it.

.....i'm striving for perfection....and in my time I will move on from this place.

In the meantime, in the words of Jim Elliot, " wherever you are, be all there." and this is what i'm working on.

I love you.