1 year and 5 months today.

fuck yes.

haha. yeah. i kinda forgot about this thingy. but i decided, alittle update would be fun.

so, yeah. everything is going good. haha. i really like life alot. hopefully, i'm not jinxing anything by saying that either. (i just knocked on wood, to be safe.)

so, yeah, this weekend was awesome. not gonna lie.

Friday - went out to eat with Megan, Jen, and Josie. they are so awesome. i missed them mucho. it was a good time. then me and Megan hung out for awhile. had some awesome talks about our Billys. then her Billy came over and hung out with us. he makes fun of me though. haha. then DONNA CAME OVER! Megan and Billy left us, which was sad. but it was ok. me and Donna caught up alittle, then ATTEMPTED to go the movies. haha. we won't go there. came home. relaxed. talked to my Billy alittle bit. then went to bed.

Saturday - woke up. showered and all that jazz. around 6ish, Billy came over. haha. he met Julie. except he didn't talk. at all. haha. Julie thought he couldn't talk, it was pretty funny. then me and Bill hung out for awhile. we cried alittle. haha. "The Wall." how ironic.  then we talked alittle bit, then sadly, he had to leave me. but it was awesome, like it always is. i love him alot.

Sunday - hung out around the house. i had the house pretty much to myself all day, so it was really niice to have it all quiet. i like early winter. or like right after Thanksgiving. idk why. i just do.

i'm really excited for Christmas though. idk what the hell i want, yet i'm really excited.

AND IN 17 MORE DAYSSSSS . . .

I'M GOING TO THE DAVE MATTHEWS CONCERT WITH (hopefully) BILLY, GINA, CHUCK AND MELANIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alright, so, on that note. i'm off.

g'night. <33

ok.

so, everytime i get into a fight with someone i really love, i always seem to be the reason we're fighting. why can't i do anything right? i wish i wasn't as stubborn, i wish i wasn't as ugly. i wish alot of things. but i wish i didn't mess up as much. with my luck, all the things i love in this world, will eventually go away. not just nessasarily things either. i'm more talking about the people side.

AND (heres the good part) I'M TOO FUCKING STUBBORN TO APOLOGIZE! even though, i realize that i was wrong, i'm still scared to apologize.

omg. what the fuck is wrong with me?

hey everybody . . .

ok, so, lately, i've messed up alot. and i'm sorry to everyone i hurt by messing up. i mean, most of the problems have been at least talked about with the people i hurt. i don't want to say resolved, because i don't think that something can be fully resolved. but i think just talking, and sometimes fighting with the people you hurt, then things will slowly get at least alittle better. but yeah, anyway, i am sorry for everyone i effected (badly) with my mistakes.

so, now thats said . . .

yeah, like i said, i've been making alot of mistakes lately. and i do believe it's karma. it's a tricky thing, man. so, people watch out. i swear, karma is a killer. i never really believed in karma before though, which is weird. now that i think back, to like everything bad that has happened to me before, and i remember asking myself "why me?". i finally found my answer. i was just getting was i deserved. i don't really think i'm a bad person, and i hope other people don't think that. i just think i can be blind sometimes. it sucks. because i don't like being blind. i don't like to hurt people. i just do sometimes. and i never mean to do it. yeah. i'm done venting about that topic, cuz i think you guys catch my drift.

so, i'm developing my negatives tomorrow. i'm pumped. i really hope they turned out good.

. . .and i'm spent. <33

laterrrr duddddeeeesssssssssssss.