|
Bad_Angel2006
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Kei
Country: United States
State: Florida
Metro: Tampa Bay Area
Birthday: 8/1/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: Oh, have you ever heard of the guy who likes to make his boyfriend moan? Lol well i have. And well...never mind i'm not going to go there.
Expertise: Hehe it matters what you mean.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Research
Message: message me
AIM:  NadesicoPrincess
AIM:  DarkMonkey2006
Member Since:
9/3/2004
|
|
| Hahahaha its been a really long time. I know no one is guna check his out so i can say everything and anything.
I finally decided to quit and this time i swear on Josh's grave. I an't do it to mysef anymore. Its driving me insane. I smoked PCP. Not very bright thing o o but i did it anyways. That nigh everything was spinning. I stopped breathing nd everyone else couldn't do anything cause gess what..I was alone. Like always. I fainted nd idn't wake up for a couple hours (11hrs) Everyone got worried i got sick an now my throat hurts and I'm in pain. lot of it. Lol thats what I get right?
Serge is slowly taking away my life. I can't eat, I can't be alone, I can't sleep. ^-^ Life is wonderful....
~Edit~
But yeah i can't do shit anymore, Life is slowly tring to go down the drain i cry myself to sleep every night. I can't take much of this anymore. If he doesn't kill me starvation will. Life has show a different road lately and I don't like this one i'm on. Its bloody and very painful and i don't know how much longer i can take it...Understand? I'm sick and tried of doing things alone now..... | | |
| No one is expecting this but hey look i'm updating. Sweet its a mircle. Ha, I wish. Thats my dream in life to see a mircle. Ever since i resaw the moive 'A Walk to Remember' thats been my new dream otherthen all the other dreams I have. Heh, I found out not only am I a dork, whore, bitch and everything else everyone calls me I'm a horrible firnd girl and just plain ol' person. Ah well i don't give a damn. It gives me a head ache thinking about it. I guess I think to much.
My nightmares are comming back sadly. I don't know why i think so much about it either i just do. *sighs* No one noticed i was depressed today. I'm getting better at hiding it. Except Vanessa she knows half of my problems and the other half, I keep those, really close. So no one knows but me. Cool, huh. I find it sad. That i can't find myself telling anyone my problems, I can't let anyone help me, I can't let anyone in. Because i'm scared that, if I do. If i tell them my soul and let everything thats bothering me go.....they'll sooner or later leave me. Just like everyone else. I learned how to deal with rejection and how to deal with the pain or someone dying or leaving me by myself but letting my guard down and let everyone see who i really am, scares me to death. I know how i am when I'm alone, or with old friends. They call me evil or plain ol' don't even look at me. I know i'm a horrible person. But you guys don't have to see that side of me....i guess if i want to get any closer to you guys I have to let you guys close to me, before its to late....or is it already?
I think my biggest problems right now are. I feel like everyone I love and know and need are not here for me when I need them most and I fee like the one person i WANT and NEED to love me is getting hurt by me and I feel like if I don't let goof all these feelings all this stress not only I'm I going to damage myself but I'm going to hurt others in the process and end up losing everything I ever really needed, and that was the love and care of my friends and whats left of my family.
I can't handle so many feelsings at once expecially when the Fcat is tommorrow. I have issues, lots of them. And I need someone to talk to, some one who'll give me a hug. And someone, who won't leave me, no matter what my faults are No matter how depressed I get, No matter how stupid I am or act. Someone who understands what i'm going through and will just sit next to me and hold me while I cry.
I need a new book to read lol. *sniffles* This is the end of my very emotional blog entry. Hope you enjoied reading it cause i enjoied typing it. Thanks for commenting. And i'll try and get on more often.
Love you guys lots
<3 Keinessity | | |
| I dunno, I sick and tried of it, My step dad, my mom the fighting the arguing the not being able to sleep at night Its horrible, I even started to cry last night because of all this.Everyone's like oh how are you so happy all the time. Your life must be perfect. Each time i hear that I want to punch someone in the face! I swear I t kills yo.
But other then that. I'm happy, yeah know. I'm home alone, for awhile. I'd do the party thing but to lazy don't feel like cleaning up after anyone else but myself. Hahaha Vanessa, when are you gunna but up those pictures!? I wanna see them it'd be great.
I'm not sleepy I'm really depressed/happy Don't know don't ask. But yeah I want A hug. I need some lovin T-T pwease come love me before i break. Tell me you love me tell me you care tell me you need me tell me you'll always be there... | | |
| He told me to update so here I go....Damn him.
Yeah i'm just sitting here Talking on the phone. I should be at Tawnie's party but yeah I couldn't make it. I'm still bleeding from earlier. Heh, I was helping my grandma out with the plants and yeah me and my fence got in a fiht and I got hurt and yeah...Ouch! Lol. For some odd reason, I've been feeling horrible since I woke up. Not like I'm about to throw up horrible but, Emotions. I don't know why though. Really. I have everything I could ever want.....Not everything but you get the point. Like earlier. I was crying because my granma got hurt and shes so damn hard headed! And yeah, Jason says I'm kinda like her! Which I'm not but meh. Lol. But yeah, Updating how much fun! *spins in chair* WHOOOOO! *sighs* Here come the tears again lol. I'm such a dork. Maybe i should just stop listening to music. Its bad for the soul.
Christmas was fun though! I got presents from everyone i wasn't expecting to get one from Lol.Excpet for Jason I knew he was going to get me something. Lol My Uncle got me something, my other grandma got me something, Jesse gave me something no one else could ever give me and yeah I'm happy! I enjoied that, It was one of the best X-mases eva! God i hate updating. Stupid Male Stripper! I want to go dance now.
So enjoy readig this yall it might be awhile until I update again. | | |
| Lol For the people who post in my little comment box over there. It doesn't like me from this computer. So until I fix it. I'll be putting what i say in there over here O.O'
"Thats what would of happened if she heard. *looks at Vanessa then at the door* Wasn't it suppose to be locked...damn door....But Vanessa it isn't what it looks like! *pushes Jason off from on top of her*"
HAHAHAHA OK but yeah I'M HOME! And Happy New Year! I love you guys and see most of yall at school! | | |
|
|
Kei's wonderful world of chat
|
|
|
|
